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Imagine a gay Jesus... buffed, blond and knocking at your door

21:31 / 15.11.03

Of course I was so discombobulated by his total gorgeousness (not to mention that a resurrected Jew was hanging out in the hallway of a Howard Johnson's) that I lost all trace of flirting ability and just stood there blinking and flapping my mouth like a carp that had just been pulled from the river. Jesus glanced past me into the room, took in the music, and said "OK Computer...cool." ...

Of course at this point the moment was so unbearably uncomfortable for me that I could barely think. What could I possibly say to the Son of Man that would be even a first step towards charming him out of his pants?...Should I try to play up the devotional angle and casually "mention" all those years in Sunday school, and the six years of junior high and high school spent at a private Christian school? Should I make a joke of trying to sell him a WWJD? bracelet? Instead, of course, my dick did the talking and I ended up muttering "I can't believe you're thirty-three..."

This gem taken from "Perhaps Today! Awaiting Christ's Coming" , available for your pleasure at jesus21.com, culled from a search for Christian porn.

Is this a brilliant pisstake? Or are they serious? At any rate, both hilarious, fascinating, and dare I say it, a bit tittilating...

Spyder Todd 2008

01:39 / 16.11.03

I really can't say anything, since in Pantheon (my pop culture/religious/philosophical/political comic book that I'm trying to get published, in which all the characters are gods) the first time we get to see Jesus he's in bed with three prostitutes, one male. Then later he tongue-kisses the guy, while Horus(and the reader) watch. So, I'm not going to say anything positive or negative about this one. Someone else can take responsiblity for it.

10:27 / 16.11.03

i am offended and rejoice in the fact that both Mz Bomb and the author of this filth shall burn in Hell for ever and ever, amen.

13:36 / 16.11.03

Exxxcellent. I'm just pondering whether to link it from Cross+Flame...

13:59 / 16.11.03

Oh. Sweet. Jesus.

14:53 / 16.11.03

That's xxx for "excellent," of course..

14:58 / 16.11.03

The stigmasturbation is a class touch. Talk about a God-shaped hole...

15:18 / 16.11.03

That site's full of goodies, Cherry. Check out the Christian hanky code...

08:55 / 17.11.03

Hmm, I liked the hankie code and loved the Christian products for sale.. So it is a piss-take, but a very well-done one, and I think the slash is real...

09:20 / 17.11.03

You reckon it really happened?

09:41 / 17.11.03

i was there, man.

i was that innocent lamb of god.

A

08:12 / 19.11.03

Yeah, but would Jesus really dig Radiohead?

15:18 / 19.11.03

I think that's a very deep theological question that can only be answered through years of prayer, meditation, and possibly a papal bull...

10:20 / 20.11.03

i see jesus as more of a country man.

Jack The Bodiless

10:46 / 20.11.03

What, like in Emmerdale?

11:31 / 20.11.03

Or like Scudder, in 'Maurice'?