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Underground > Radio & Music >

New Musical Expressly Awful

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Our Lady of The Two Towers

18:39 / 09.11.03

So, based on the NME's 'less content, more pictures and fluff' new look, plus it's MM style shrinkage down to a smaller, magazine-like size, how many weeks do you think it's got left before it goes under? And would the lack of a weekly music paper really matter any more?

All Acting Regiment

20:37 / 09.11.03

The NME hasn't been a "weekly music paper" for a long long time- lately its been a group of hollyoaks style twats mincing on about how this or that band are "rilly cool", with obviously little understanding of what they are actually listening to. Its the paper equivalent of radio 1, only worse. Its the epitome of capitalism wearing a glove puppet saying "hey kids i'm cool".

For a month we hear about nothing but hip-hop. Okay fine what if I want to know about another style of music? "Oh no, sonny jim, its hip hop this month, thats whats cool" say the hollyoaks twats. All of a sudden- "OOOO system of a down incubus lets wear sk8 gear". And then the perenial favrite "oooh coldplay yeah man so meaningful".

Basically, if it was good, and went, boohoo. But its not, so i cant see its dissapearance making much difference. Music is so tribal these days its probably almost impossible to get an "meta-genre" type magazine without generalisation.

08:27 / 10.11.03

I believe this is my cue to plug Careless Talk Costs Lives. Except that the last ever issue has just come out.

But it's not finishing - with a gloriously disregard for financial reality, it's splitting into two new magazines. So there is still hope.

Is there any point in even discussing the NME anymore? Of the many people I know who used to read it, not a single one still does. Hopefully this means it's readership is diminishing to almost nothing. But there's a more ominous possibility we must consider - obviously we're not reading it anymore.. but what if 'the kids' are?? Lord have mercy!

10:27 / 10.11.03

Rizla, next to me, you and .pin are "the kids". I'm just hanging out with you to look young and trendy.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

16:19 / 10.11.03

Well, I haven't actually bought a music paper/mag for several years, just read what comes into the library, though I don't quite recognise the situation as Chris portrays it, I don't think the NME has ever embraced hip-hop. They did Burchill me with a review of the Chemical Brothers DVD the other day, claiming that their singles with the likes of Noel gallagher, Bernard Sumner et al had and always were shit, when of course at the time they loved them. It's the Orwell-like rewriting of history that grates me most. Every artist is always cool, until they aren't, then they never were. I doubt I can persuade the library to buy whatever CTCL turns into and the issue I read a few months back, while a refreshing change from what MM/NME would say, didn't amaze me really. Maybe I just don't care about music journalism any more. Back to basing my musical opinion on diametrically opposing whatever Fly and Flux say then...

16:42 / 10.11.03

NME was always shit. Alwaysalwaysalways. Or at least for the last 8 years.

Apart from one or two writers.

18:14 / 10.11.03

I applied for a job on NME earlier this year, and told them they were shit and I'd want to change things at the paper in my application letter.

Didn't get the job. That's why NME is shit; because I'm not news editor.

I think it has just been blindly chasing the lowest common denominator; the Darkness, the Strokes, the White Stripes or the Kings of Leon will always be on their cover, one way or another, as this covers pretty much their entire demographic. They will run a piece on (say) Tiga, Ludacris or Pink every so often too, but that's about your lot. It is a music paper a lot like egg and chips is a meal nowadays - very nice as far as it goes, but not that different or interesting either...

18:16 / 10.11.03

BTW, I rate at least one song by all of those bands; lowest common demoniator is not me being snooty or anything, just the obvious term to use...

18:18 / 10.11.03

And, while it was a fuck-up due to particularly bad typing, I hereby copyright 'lowest common demoniator' for my forthcoming death metal album.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

19:11 / 10.11.03

It's just like fucking HEAT magazine. It's awful. Always has been. I hope it goes under, so can focus my full hatred on Bang!

All Acting Regiment

19:46 / 10.11.03

Some speciality mags are okay- like terrorizer for metal, ive heard some of the hip hop ones are okay. There used to be this magazine called Making Music which you could for free at guitar shops that was actually pretty good cos it didnt bother with "this is cool"- they'd just have someone well versed in a particular style of music writing a quality review of some music, which is all you need really.

My point is that NME doesnt recognise effort, enthusiasm or talent- merely how "cool" stuff is.

Agree strongly with the stuff about them rewriting history.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

20:15 / 10.11.03

I always remember how the two papers treated Richey Manic's disappearance, the MM did a several week thing on depression, with advice to readers and getting MM journos and stars to talk about their various battles with mental illness to try and break down some of the stigma. NME got one of their journos to write a long essay about how Richey was a 'coward' for 'running away', just for that I've always wanted the paper to go down the toilet.

00:08 / 11.11.03

Melody Maker was good for a while, once upon a time.

Heat = much better than the NME.

08:48 / 11.11.03

so can focus my full hatred on Bang!

God yeah.. I didn't think much of the first few issues of Bang, but at least they sort of tried to cover some good bands and to provide a vague alternative to the other mags..

Had a look at the newest one in the train station the other day and it's like.. coldplay! travis! U2! AAAAAAAAGGGHH! Run Away!

Regrettable Juvenilia

08:57 / 11.11.03

As I understand it, there were some major staff or policy changes at Bang! shortly after the first couple of issues: which is why it starts off at least trying to give a little more coverage of less widely exposed people (plus featuring writers such as Simon Price and Taylor Parkes, who are two of the people who jumped/were pushed pretty quickly) and rapidly descends into the same combination of tired laddishness and repetition that characterises the NME. (That's also why the first issue featured art from Paul Pope and Dave Choe, which I suspect you won't be seeing again anytime soon in those pages.)

Jack The Bodiless

10:56 / 11.11.03

While I loathe the NME with a passion, I think a weekly music paper is bloody important... I may hate what they said and how they said it, but (not living in London) I wouldn't have heard of lots of bands I've liked over the years without those shallow little pricks namedropping every Wednesday...

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

12:02 / 11.11.03

Dude, Heat Magazine is the opiate of the masses, and it has such a low standard of journalisim I can honesly believe it's staffed by chimps.

Better that NME? I see your point.

14:32 / 11.11.03

Since we're already on the topic of assorted music journalism, what's the opinion of monthly magazines available in the UK?
Here in the US, we get a select of magazines from abroad (Q, Mofo, a few others) but the only one I really occasionally pick up is The Wire. What's the reputation on any of these?

16:02 / 11.11.03

postmodern infidel>

Q - never read it myself, but a common opinion seems to be that it is for unadventurous fogeys. Generally derided.

Mojo - have read a few, and personally think okay. Often regarded negatively by young thrusting types, since it is specifically about old stuff, but I see nowt wrong with a single magazine being devoted to that. Produced a great 'Introduction to Garage Rock' CD recently. Have done decent features on Krautrock and Psychedelia.

Wire - opinion is massively divided on this one. Of all the monthly mags on offer, this must be the most serious of the lot and covers the most obscure stuff, both of which are either a huge plus or a massive minus, depending on taste. Personally, I like the idea of it, and I used to buy it fairly often myself, but gave up on it when I realised that reading it actually put me off music. I don't want to think about music (at least not in the manner that the Wire encouraged me to) I want to enjoy it. Reading the Wire installed a whole gaggle of stern-faced academics in my brain, which turned the experience of listening to music into something akin to having sex while your maths teacher shouts instructions into your ear.

All Acting Regiment

20:14 / 11.11.03

On the whole i think a place like barbelith/music is better than a magazine for getting opinions on bands, because you get several different sets of opinions if y'know what i mean, and i don't think anyone here is being paid to write favourable reviews by record companies,like kerrang is, which is why linkin park always win the k! awards. yup, it was true all along.

But I think a magazine is a good thing in theory- as a community, group, whatever. I just think they should maybe employ less pricks although of course, this is my definition of prick which is totally different to theirs.

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

12:23 / 12.11.03

This weeks NME has the Beatles on the cover. Says it all really: half dead.

14:08 / 12.11.03

tasteless, but true, mein freund.

i still hate q more than any other music mag, tho, just 'cos its written in the most offensively public school tone ever. it brings out the mick travis in me.

18:04 / 20.11.03

Christ on a bike, I bought Mixmag today for the first time in ages and Gawd, that magazine has gone downhill.

They had three pages of semi-nude 'birds with bongs' and a whole load of similar shite in there. CD seemed OK though.

I think dance music suffers more than most in music journalism; especially this year when Musik finally waved the white flag and folded. The writing was on the wall for the dance press when their attention shifted from tunes to drugs. There are only so many 'are you a pill monkey?' articles you can take, if you ask me.

Which you didn't, so I'll shut up now...

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

18:44 / 20.11.03

Musik folded? fuck! They used to have wicked cover CDs.

19:01 / 20.11.03

Yeah, they were one of the better ones. Advertising dried up apaprently; Cream etc stopped doing big nights all the time, and the money went out of the market

BTW, have you checked out Jockey Slut? That's a pretty good magazine, and has a decent cover CD most months.

Actually, I think covermount CDs have a major factor in music journalism nowadays - f'rinstance, both Uncut and the NME have two copies of the same magazine out at the mo with different covermount CDs... will post more on this some point soon.

20:21 / 20.11.03

Uncut has good cover CDs every now and then - the British Psychedelia one from a couple of months ago is an absolute blast. It even persuaded me to buy a magazine with Pink Floyd on the front for goodness sake..

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:46 / 25.01.06

I hate to do this. I really do. But people must be told.

"F***in' Empire!"

10:50 / 25.01.06

well, the 15% off might be handy i suppose... but I buy more DVDs than music from HMV anyway...

12:24 / 25.01.06

You know, round about two years ago I thought the NME had reached an absolute nadir of badness - the point at which it could be held up as a defining example everything that was phony, cretinous and wrong about music writing and journalism and publishing in general and soundly mocked and reviled by all right-thinking citizens.

I think now it has actually forged ahead into some previously undreamt of realm of physics-defying, 8-dimensional hyperspace badness and before long will loop around on itself and achieve a kind of Chris Morris-esque self-parodic genius.

"F***in' Empire" is only the beginning.

Haus of Mystery

13:12 / 25.01.06

But look at that list of bands!!

CLASSIC.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

14:42 / 25.01.06

As I said elsewhere, the 'Inky Fingers' documentary on the NME was a lesson in how it's going completely down the toilet. And yes, 'The Libs' and 'Arctic Monkeys' having made two of the best albums ever? Typical NME nonsense.

16:13 / 25.01.06

I still read this on the tube every now and again, such is the awesome power of my (now admittedly waning, post the album,) addiction to Pete Doherty's antics, and it's always fairly interesting to see just how little you can cram into a hundred-odd pages, if you really put your mind to it.

It's really not as good as it used to be, is it? Getting that and The Melody Maker back in the Nineties used to seem like it provided you with a reasonably good overview of what was hot'n'interesting in music that week, you'd have the writers you trusted, and then follow their recommendations, or not - anyway, I'd often find myself coming home with a record (I'm afraid I preferred those as well,) and also this thrilling thing about having no real idea what it was going to sound like, genre aside. In '06 though, I'd imagine you'd have to trawl through the back roads of the interweb for much the same sort of service, unless you happen to be a fan of one of the niche genres covered by one of the monthlies, or indie student rock, and so, consequently, I never listen to, never mind buy any new music these days, and I do kind of resent it.

17:16 / 25.01.06

"F***in' Empire!" ?!?! Is that like "well weapon" or something. I thought the readers'/critics' charts in Q were bad enough and ridiculously biased to recent releases, but NME appear to have managed to trump them by having an album that came out two days ago in their list. I'm definitely going to have to have a look at it for a good laugh...

23:54 / 25.01.06

The only music mag I read is the wire.

Reading the Wire installed a whole gaggle of stern-faced academics in my brain, which turned the experience of listening to music into something akin to having sex while your maths teacher shouts instructions into your ear.

yeah it can be a little like that. The thing I like about it though, is the feeling I get from reading it that around the corner from my place there could be a guy making incredible music using his nasal hairs wired up to a pickup and a rubber chicken. If I put my ear to the ground closely enough, I might be able to hear him, or I could wait till he's in the wire.

Plus opening a magazine, and not having any idea what music is gonna be covered is fucking refreshing. Not having to worry about trends or what is "cool" opens my ears up more.

Oh, and the cd's are wicked for getting new music that you wouldn't otherwise hear.

07:32 / 26.01.06

"Spin", is basically the US's NME right?

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