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I am Jack's undeniable Urge To Kill

 
 
Captain Zoom
22:10 / 06.11.03
I would like to kill Jason Burch who bullied me from grade 6 to grade 11 when I was finally taller than him.

I would like to kill George Bush Jr. and all his cronies who refuse to let the world progress the way it should.

I would like to kill anyone who harms children for their own pleasure.

I would like to kill all those drivers who appear to be far worse than I am.

I would like to kill anyone who tells me that animals were put here by God for us to eat.

I would like to kill God, but he's already dead.



Go ahead and play my friends.

Zoom.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
10:08 / 07.11.03
I would like to kill Melissa O'Connor, who refused to go out with me at school even though I stalked her for an entire academic year! Because she was shallow and vain she didn't appreciate the fact that I got good grades and was captain of the school Chess team and was into cool bands like Marion and Toil, and cool writers like Harry Harrison. Instead she hung around with football players and probably gave them sexual favours and stuff because she was a slut. Yeah, anyway now the tables have turned and I'm the cool one and nobody probably remembers that she was a cheerleader and she probably works in Tescos and likes Atomic Kitten, but she broke my heart and so I would like to kill her with a gun or with an axe. Then I would make sweet tender love to her corpse, which I do not think should be a crime.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
13:53 / 07.11.03
I would like to kill Lester Albemarle, of Long Beach, Long Island, because some folks just need killin'.
 
 
grant
14:06 / 07.11.03
Zoom, where've you been?

Tell me. Or I'll kill you.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
14:08 / 07.11.03
I would like to kill Qalyn for making such a fucking lame post in this thread. Q, that is no explanation. At least tell us how you would kill this person. Look at Zoom's brilliant post and then try to make yours like his, or like mine. Make yours, like mine. Go!
 
 
Quantum
14:08 / 07.11.03
I would like to kill Bill.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
14:14 / 07.11.03
I would like to kill Sting because no one man should have so much: wealth, incredible abs, integrity, humility, and a poetic Muse that just won't quit. I would also like to kill Hannibal Lector, because he's evil!

I would not like to kill Flyboy, even though he's always so mean to me, because I think he's a beautiful person deep down inside.
 
 
Bill Posters
14:17 / 07.11.03
I would like to kill Bill.

okay, what've I done this time??
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
14:30 / 07.11.03
I would like to kill John Birch for being a racist fuck! Unfortunately, he's already dead.
 
 
Quantum
14:41 / 07.11.03
Bill, you just won't quit, people seem to be prosecuting you all the time (and your mate Bill Stickers) it's for your own good man, you will keep putting up those Marillion posters...


Qalyn, you'll be in line behing Dylan;

Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues (Bob Dylan)
Well, I was feelin’ sad and feelin’ blue,
I didn’t know what in the world I was gonna do,
Them communists they wus comin’ around,
They wus in the air,
They wus on the ground.
They wus all over. . .

So I run down most hurriedly
And joined up with the john birch society,
I got me a secret membership card
And started off a-walkin’ down the road.
Yee-hoo, I’m a real john bircher now!
Look out you commies!

Now we all agree with hitlers’ views,
Although he killed six million jews.
It don’t matter too much that he was a fascist,
At least you can’t say he was a communist!
That’s to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria.

Well, I wus lookin’ everywhere for them gol-darned reds.
I got up in the mornin’ ’n’ looked under my bed,
Looked in the sink, behind the door,
Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
Couldn’t find ’em . . .

I wus lookin’ high an’ low for them reds everywhere,
I wus lookin’ in the sink an’ underneath the chair.
I looked way up my chimney hole,
I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
They got away . . .

Well, I wus sittin’ home alone an’ started to sweat,
Figured they wus in my t.v. set.
Peeked behind the picture frame,
Got a shock from my feet, hittin’ right up in the brain.
Them reds caused it!
I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.

Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,
Then I changed my name to sherlock holmes.
Followed some clues from my detective bag
And discovered they wus red stripes on the american flag!
That ol’ betty ross . . .

Well, I investigated all the books in the library,
Ninety percent of ’em gotta be burned away.
I investigated all the people that I knowed,
Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go.
The other two percent are fellow birchers . . . just like me.

Now eisenhower, he’s a russian spy,
Lincoln, jefferson and that roosevelt guy.
To my knowledge there’s just one man
That’s really a true american: george lincoln rockwell.
I know for a fact he hates commies cus he picketed the movie exodus.

Well, I fin’ly started thinkin’ straight
When I run outa things to investigate.
Couldn’t imagine doin’ anything else,
So now I’m sittin’ home investigatin’ myself!
Hope I don’t find out anything . . . hmm, great god!
 
 
Papess
16:38 / 08.11.03
**Careful-Inflammatory Post-You May Get Pissed Off!**

I think I wanna kill this asshole, The Antiporn Guy

Mainly for this little diatribe on his Fag Facts page. (No, guess again... that does not say "FAQ")

Mr.David McNamara...just lie down.


A waste of flesh, not to mention bandwidth. I am sorry, some people's opinions just don't count.
 
 
Char Aina
17:07 / 08.11.03
from trix's linkage...

Fags fellate almost 100% of their sexual contacts and ingest semen from about half of those. Semen contains virtually every germ carried in the blood stream, so this is about equivalent to ingesting raw human blood

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

homos vampyros!
ah, if only he were trying to be funny.
 
 
Papess
17:10 / 08.11.03
No toksik, he isn't now. It is damn scary when a mind is that tightly sealed that only a nuclear bomb would open it up
 
 
Char Aina
17:13 / 08.11.03
oh, shit, it gets better....

37% of fags engage in sadomasochism, which accounts for many accidental deaths. In San Francisco, classes were held to teach fags how to not kill their partners during sadomasochism



i'd kill the manager of the bar i work at.
i'd kill her with a rusty garden fork, daubed with a protein rich mixture of human body waste.

stick it in the guts, twist it, and then lift her up by it, sticking the prongs through her and into the front door of the club. and leave her there.
 
 
Char Aina
17:15 / 08.11.03
those classses must be taught really badly, because apparently Fags are 100 times more likely to be murdered (usually by another fag).

right.
i'll stop rotting the deathlist with the fagfacts now.
 
 
Char Aina
17:17 / 08.11.03
if it helps, i'll hold your coat while you kill him, may.
 
 
Papess
17:25 / 08.11.03
*passes coat to toksik*

Try and hold it out of spatter range. Thanks dude.

Hmmmm...Ya know, I think if he was just made to suck one dick (not that anyone but Tyr would be so bold), I think the guy would just turn his rage in on himself and he would do himself in.

Toksik? Err...
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
17:35 / 08.11.03
You two are mad. This kid is a genius, with big things in his future*. Shockingly soft on crime, though. David McNamara on prison reform:

Prison cells will be made smaller. I would set this to approximately 1/2 of their average current size.
Prisoners kept in their cells 24/7 (i.e. NEVER leaving their cell during incarceration).
Prisoners will only be fed bread and butter.
NO contact with ANY other human being during incarceration.
NO TV, medical care, or entertainment of any sort.
NO sunlight will penetrate a prison cell.
Disobedient or rebellious prisoners can be beaten by the guards as punishment.
ANY inmate that attempts to escape will be executed on site.




* I think you know what those "big things" are.
 
 
Char Aina
17:55 / 08.11.03
i'm pretty sure th inside of a man's mouth is biologically identical to the inside of a woman's...
as long as he shaves, i'll help you help him implode.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
18:03 / 08.11.03
No! You can't kill Anti-Porn guy! I wanna kill Anti-Porn Guy! I'd kill him so much better than anyone else. You guys think you want to kill him now? Wait till you've read his Livejournal.
 
 
Papess
18:20 / 08.11.03
Thanks (ya know, thanks for giving me more reason to hate this smegma-encrusted fuckwit) for that link Mordant.

Let's take turns. We can revive him with magick for another go at him. Do you think there is a way we can keep this one awake for the whole process?...Because I am sure it will be loooong and involved and we don't want him to miss a nano-second of it.
 
 
Char Aina
18:36 / 08.11.03
Satan's quiver is never without arrows

dude likes metal!
 
 
Baz Auckland
18:41 / 08.11.03
...that can't be serious... right?

"I myself have always had my suspicions about actor Morgan Freeman since he went from a playing a chauffeur to a CIA agent to a U.S. President and in his latest film he had the blasphemous audacity to play God Himself and I would just ask if anyone else finds this more than a little suspicious since he is not the greatest actor ever to recite a line of dialogue and furthermore does anyone else wonder if maybe the media is behind this?"

He shouldn't die. He should just be put somewhere quiet without internet access...
 
 
Papess
18:41 / 08.11.03
"i'm pretty sure th inside of a man's mouth is biologically identical to the inside of a woman's... "

toksik, he is against oral sex of ANY kind!
 
 
Char Aina
18:55 / 08.11.03
trixybabe, he may be, but i freakin love it.
he will be okay as long as i dress up as an angel.


oh, and guys...? it seems like he's real.
its all too believable when you see his picture and read between the lines of his "i shall be pure, purer than all the people who get some" attitude.
 
 
Captain Zoom
21:20 / 08.11.03
I'd like to kill the Buddha, but I'm never on the same road as him.

Zoom.

(grant-I been walkabout)
 
 
Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo
02:40 / 09.11.03
I want to kill all the people who whined and complained about the Ronald Reagan mini-series. I wouldn't have watched it, but when the head fo the Republican Party says it shouldn't be shown, and the company showing has a multi-billion dollar bill in front of a Republcan Head of the FCC...

Well, it isn't government consorship officially, but it may as well be.

Die you ratfuckers.

Oh, and I DO agree with thier arguement that the mini-series shouldn't be shown while Reagan is on his deathbed. They should wait until his black, shriveled, heartless soul is rotting in hell. Then show the truth about him for the entire week after he dies, the terrorist funding, homophobic, racist brain dead goober. He should die too.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
08:23 / 09.11.03
Sorry to continue with the "antipornguy" threadrot, but... I checked the link, Trix, and I have to admit, I doubted you. I thought "this guy's taking the piss, and Trix just hasn't got the joke!" Then I kept reading it. And boy, am I ever sorry I doubted you. The guy's for real, isn't he?! FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK!

He is funny. But he does deserve to die.

OK, so I may be a straight male. And he may be a minger. But I'd be more than happy to go round his house and bugger him to death.

Haven't even checked out the livejournal yet... I'm a bit scared to. Some psyches even I don't wanna look into...

Oh fuck it. Off to check out Mordant's link. (I'm gonna regret this...)
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
08:51 / 09.11.03
Even more confused now. He's GOT to be taking the piss. SURELY? Please? No? Oh shit.

"A Menlover"... come on.

I LOVE the responses he gets, though.

And I'm again starting to think he's NOT taking the piss...

Curse you, Trix, for filling me with such confusion. I HAVE to kill him now.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
09:00 / 09.11.03
Oh, and to get back on-topic, I would also like to kill a certain bleach-blonde motherfucker who, many years ago, while occupying the position of "one of my mates", stole my girlfriend (by systematically destroying our relationship and then... well, you can guess the rest), and then proceeded to treat her like shit (while I was still living with her, so had to deal with the fallout from THAT as well) and ditch her in favour of the girlfriend he already had, but had neglected to tell her about.

AND who never gave me back my copy of the first Animal Man graphic novel, so I had to wait years for them to publish it again! Fucker!

(Although it may destroy the hating mood briefly, I should point out that said ex is now one of my best friends. And she hates the bastard more than I do!- now, back to the hate.)

I would gladly kill Jeremy Clarkson, if it wasn't for the fact that I think he'd cry like a baby, and I'd feel all sorry for him. And if there's someone I NEVER want to feel any kind of sympathy for, it's that tosser.
 
 
No star here laces
01:00 / 10.11.03
I want to kill Angelina Jolie. Because she doesn't reply to my letters. And even though I built a special shrine for her and offer her up a tribute of semen, blood and urine every other day, she still hasn't materialised in my bedroom. I also want to kill her lawyers who told me that I had to take the special images I'd made of her off my fansite.
 
 
Papess
17:11 / 10.11.03
Yeah, I should apologize to Zoom for rotting this thread. I didn't think I would get so livid.

Zoom, feel free to want to kill me. You too, Stoatie.


I wanna kill the Matrix Agent. All of them.
 
  
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