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The New 5 Questions Thread

  
  

Page: (1)234

 
 
Logos
12:00 / 22.10.03
Mini-Barbeinterviews. Invite an interview, then perform one of your own.
 
 
Logos
12:04 / 22.10.03
Jack Denfield interviews Logos

JD: Sorry i'm late. hurricane and all.
L: No problem.
JD: here goes.

1. What kind of music do you like? Have there been many changes in your musical taste over the years?

I like darn near everything. The last five albums I’ve picked up are:
1. Steve Burns Music for Dustmites
2. Warren Zevon The Wind
3. Annie Lennox Bare
4. Madonna GHV2
5. Orchestra of the Age of Enlightenment Bach Concertos


2. What do you think of Jack Denfeld?

After having seen a picture of the sleeping Jack Denfield in the Roll Call thread, I’m convinced that I recognize him from somewhere.

Ellis Island, 1879, or thereabouts. The march on Jakarta. Pope John Paul II’s bachelor party, where Jack drank all the schnapps and sang the funny song about Mother Theresa. Somewhere. It’ll come to me.


3. Describe the worst haircut you've ever had.

Two stories:

I once got a haircut from a woman having an argument with her boyfriend over the phone, while she was actually doing the cutting. My hair ended up considerably shorter than I’d planned on, but apart from 20 minutes of white-knuckle grooming activity, it actually ended up fairly well. I’m just glad I escaped with my life.

On the other end of the spectrum, I spent one trip to the salon being ignored whilst in the chair, hair drying beneath an overactive air conditioning unit while the über-hip stylists gossiped amongst themselves about the new ceiling tiles and their clubbing plans. I ended up walking out with half a haircut, nearly two hours after I’d walked in. Thus, my current fondness for old-fashioned barbers.

4. Have you ever been on a diet? Were you trying to lose pounds, or just become healthier?

Freshman year in college, I was a part-time vegetarian. All of my friends at the time were vegan, which seemed like a bit far to go. Instead, I tried dietary restriction on a time-share basis, one day a week. Lasted about three months.

Sophomore year in college, I started working out several hours a day, and eating all really healthy food. It resulted in a single digit body fat percentage, and the ability to get a headrush by drinking a cola.

5. How do you like Barbelith so far?

Love it, love it. I’ve been here through the last couple redesigns. The latest version rocks; it’s nice to have a community last long enough to have passed through some lulls. I do wish I knew some of the people here face-to-face.

On second thought, that may not be the best idea.
 
 
gingerbop
20:51 / 22.10.03
Invites interview.
 
 
whisperingfist
06:24 / 23.10.03
Hi Gingerbop

As I'm new to this web posting Barbelith game, and know nothing about nobody, nohow, I should in theory be the perfect interviewer. As such:

1) Given the choice, would your hair be made of diamonds or fire?

2) You're walking down the street, and someone you've never met insists that if you don't hug them within the next five seconds, the high explosives wired to their person will detonate. How do you react?

3) Why George Bush?

4) If you could choose any animal for your lifelong companion on a desert island, which would it be? Would you name it?

5) If you suddenly discovered you could walk through walls, what kind of mischief and high jinks would you get up to?
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
09:27 / 23.10.03
Invites interview. But not about sex or Chilean politics in 1958 this time, please!
 
 
Olulabelle
09:42 / 23.10.03
Not to jump on your invitation Flowers, but don't we have to wait for Gingerbop to reply before the next person can invite? Ohterwise it might get really silly. Logos? Rules please.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
11:34 / 23.10.03
I'll play, but some rules could be handy. (Oh bugger, that's my "free spirit" cred well and truly fucked up the Gary, isn't it?)
 
 
Logos
20:31 / 23.10.03
Rules are:

1) You first request to be interviewed. Once you have completed an interview, you may interview anyone who requests to be interviewed. (This should gradually build a pyramid)

2) Interviewer sends interviewee the 5 questions via private message.

3) Interviewees may answer one or more batches of questions sent to them by interviewers. They may also elect to be interviewed by a specific person, if they so desire.

4) Anyone can PM follow up questions to interviewees. Interviewees can bundle these questions to post to the thread.

5) Anyone can break or distort rules 1-4, as needed.
Sound good?
 
 
Logos
23:57 / 26.10.03
Gingerbop's interview:

Subject: 5 answers
From: gingerbop
Date: 25.10.03
Time: 17:20
> 1. How'd you come by your name? Are you more ginger, or more bop, and why?

One night, 2 friends and me were lying on the floor, at about 3am, making up a song in the dark. It featured us all, under different names. One was the aubergine fairy. Cant remember the other. But I was gingerbop anyway. They made it up, not me. Then we all got email addresses of our names, and gingerbop kinda stayed. Didnt check it for 30 days though, and gingerbop@hotmail.com is no more, not im just gingerbop with a silly long number after it at aol.
Thing is, I'd consider myself more Bop, ala inside, but when people meet you, as a friend said, they see the ginger person before they see the person. It does piss me off, but I suppose my name is only reinforcing this. They have all kinds of preconceptions about your temperament, geek levels, grossness and whatnot, often speak down to you, or just wont speak to you at all. For this reason, no matter how much i hate the "popular" people, I am always glad to see a redheaded one in a group of them. Most of them in such circles dye it blonde, and it looks hideous. That was a long answer.

>
> 2. David Blaine just finished his 44 day stint in a perspex box over the river Thames. What's your next publicity stunt going to be?

Throwing himself off niagra falls? Although it would perhaps be too short a period of publicity time for him. Maybe living with the queen for 3 months.
>
> 3. What's your earliest (sexual) memory?

Do you mean, as in memories of feelings towards people, or physical stuff? I dont really remember 1st memories, but I know that a lot of them were towards girls/women, when i was little, and i didnt think anything of them til everyone started "OH MY GOD, LESBIANS, THATS GROSS!"ing (not at me, but in general) when we were 11 or so. As in physical, there was little stuff, some drunken fumblings in sleeping bags and such, and 1st sex was when I waitressed a ball, with one of the pipers there. I was supplied with free booze for waitressing, got horribly drunk, and fucked him on steps leading to someones house (no idea who's), just meters away from the marquee where my sister and her husband were enjoying the live music at the ball; a guy from the year above me in school, who was singing Losing My Religion at the time. How wonderfully appropriate.

>
> 4. What's your favorite Barbelith forum?

It has to be conversation, because of it's busy-ness. Put something in some forums, and nothing comes of it. However, outside there, its art/design/fashion thread, being a little clothing fiend as i am. My least favouite is magik, not because I have anything against it, but I just dont really have a clue about it. I was once bought a very small, pink, shiny, superficial book or spells, by my best friend, because I was sad. I did one spell in it, and it did work, which slightly freaked me out. A girl who had been a really good friend of mine, and still supposedly was, but she always put me down, in a way she could pass off as being friendly support, eg "Never mind, lauren- *someone* will be attracted by tiny breasts. I dont know who though..." (was years ago). She's never caused me any bother since. Which, for a sceptic, seems a little odd. Maybe it was just psycological, and gave me a bit more confidence to stand up to her, and turn any critism to a joke, or direct is back to her in a mocking way, and then she gave up. Who knows, who cares, it worked. And she's lovely again.

> 5. Postmodernism. Is it?
Of course not.
It's blank.
 
 
Char Aina
00:15 / 27.10.03
invites interview...
 
 
penitentvandal
09:19 / 27.10.03
So I have to invite someone to interview me before I can interview someone else, izzat right? Right.

Um, interview me. Only not about, you know, the thing in the place with the guy. I don't wanna talk about that.
 
 
Rage
19:21 / 27.10.03
"Excuse me, sir. I'd like to invite an interview..."
 
 
Char Aina
01:55 / 28.10.03
1. What's the deal with the Americans/the French/those guys over there?

the americans?
they know not what they do.
the french?
you have to admire their spirit. and their women.
those guys over there? is this where i talk about the dudes who piss me off? no one really does, you know.


2.Oy vey! Name your favorite ethnic turn of phrase, by an ethnicity you don't belong to, but which you would like to appropriate for your very own.


'innit', if thats allowed. if its not, and i have to go with something from a foreign source... then i'll go for 'salaam alaikum'. oh, or 'pax vobiscum'.



3. How did you get to be where you are?


by a combination of bad decisions and laziness, compounded by advice i should have known better than to take. i'm not really anywhere i am especialy proud or fond of, to be honest. it's bearable, even enjoyable, but its hardly impressive. i can imagine better, and in my minds eye i still do.


1.Who REALLY needs to visit Barbelith, and why?

grant morrison! nah, maybe some of the actual revolutionaries, the ones who probably dont actually have computers glued to their laps or fingers. those who have a plan of action and are not only willing to share it, but to do something with it.
i get the feeling we here are a think tank, but one with no caterpillar tracks and certainly one without shells.
and obviously SLAYER. slayer should be moderators in the music forum, moderators who actually do fart lightning.


5. Tell us something about yourself that noone knows.

i slept with a boy once, just to see if it was anything like as good as sleeping with girls. it was something like as good, but not nearly close enough to make me want Tab A over Slot A. on the upside, i now know that giving good head is easier for those folks who like the caulk, a point which i raised once with a pal. she disagreed. she was wrong.
 
 
PatrickMM
03:24 / 28.10.03
I'd fancy an interview, eh?
 
 
Char Aina
04:37 / 28.10.03
is the idea here that i will be interviewed by all of the interwievees who feel the urge? should i expect to have another couple coming?
 
 
penitentvandal
08:20 / 28.10.03
The velvetvandal interview:

1) Do you have a favourite single martial arts move from the world of cinema? if not, do you have a favourite death scene from any kind of film?

I've always liked that 'jumping with both feet onto somebody's chest' move from Enter the Dragon: there's just something nasty and visceral about it. As to death scenes, it has to be Gretchen's death in Donnie Darko: brutal, short, and completely unexpected. It doesn't soften you up for the death with a big build-up, a last speech, or any macho bullshit: it just happens and it's horrible. There's an honesty in that.

2) Supercharged motorbike at 120mph, or emptying a kalashnikov of a full clip?

I can't even drive, so for me the kalashnikov would probably be safer; having said that, as long as I had a clear run at it, I think the bike would be more fun. Is there much difference between riding a normal bike and a motorbike? Because I'm pretty hot on a mountain bike, and I've always thought that would mean I'd be better on a motorbike than in a car, which just seems weird to me.

3) Have you ever run for any elected positions? Why, and did you fulfill those goals?

I stood for form rep in my school sixth form many years ago, because I was the kind of self-important little shit who would do that, and, yes, I did fulfill my goal. The sixth form council meetings were a pain in the arse, though, inevitably revolving around two issues: the dirtiness of the common room and our endless pleas for (a) a vending machine or (b) a pool table, neither of which would ever be granted to us unless we did something about the aforementioned common room filth. Looking back on it I now see that this was a masterful delaying tactic used by the head of sixth form: he didn't have the money to buy a vending machine or pool table and, to be honest, didn't want one; but he reasoned that, as adolescents, we would never be able to institute any kind of workable cleanliness policy, so he chucked the ball into our court and ensured that his bluff was never called. Nice and smooth.

4) What is in a name?

A bunch of letters, possibly a hyphen if you're double-barrelled, and an apostrophe if you're one of those guys called D'eath or whatever.

'velvetvandal' was, initially, just a name I adopted during my Bowie-obsessive phase, just because the idea of a velvet-clad yob had a certain Clockwork Orange/Aladdin Sane/Thin White Duke cachet to it. As GM says in The Invisibles, though, taking on a magickal name invites certain consequences, and now the vv identity has led me to formulate a personal aesthetic and ethical philosophy, based on the notion of what I call 'velvetvandalism', which can loosely be explained as fucking with things to make them nicer. Really good wildstyle graffitti, detourned adverts, and the Hypershibuya project are all examples of velvetvandalism; crappy charver bus-stop tags, advertising hoardings and flyers for double glazing aren't.

5) Give me at least three ways chess is like sex. you are not allowed to tell me it isnt.

Did you know that in French chess, the Bishop is called the Fool? 's true. Hmm, chess and sex. Well, both are long and intricate processes; there are only a limited number of possible moves, but near-infinite possible combinations of these; reading lots of books about either can help, but doesn't necesssarily make you really good at it; there is an arcane manouevre called 'queening' in both chess and sex; and both processes involve mating as the eventual outcome. Is that enough?

Note to the other guy who requested an interview: 'the thing in the place with the guy' is an Ocean's Eleven quote. Elliot Gould's Ruben character mentions it during his first scene with Pitt and Clooney.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
13:42 / 28.10.03
So I should just pretend that someone's sent me five questions and answer them then? Is that how this is working now?
 
 
Char Aina
14:32 / 28.10.03
no... i was about to send you one this morning when my computer crashed.
give me a minute or two.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
19:34 / 28.10.03
Niiiiiice. Questions from the lovely toksik.

1) if you could wipe one place off the face of the planet, where would you destroy? and would you evacuate first?

Depends on whether it was somewhere I'd visited or not. I mean, I could say The White House or the cave Osama Bin Ladin is hiding in... But I think I'd probably choose Kent. And I'd be selective about where I issued the evacuation order. It's the county I spent almost all of my first 18 years and I hate it. Soulless, spiritless, right-wing fuckers the lot of them. It's only purpose is to get in the way of London and France and has practically no redeeming features. Half of it is a listed heritage site and the other half is a concrete car park with a bust lift and a smell of wee on the stairs. I want to slit my wrists every time I visit my parents, who live in the middle of it.

2) how much is too much?

I wouldn't know because I rarely dabble. I'm not exactly straight edge as I drink, eat meat and passive smoke by default with the people I tend to hang around with, gently curved edge is probably me. Two incidences of drinking so much that I threw up, in my sleep, then rolled in it oblivious, were enough to make me now stop after a couple, and switch to coke, though I can then drink enough of that to get edgy and wired. I should point out I'm wearing slippers right now, for the love of Glinda.

3) what traits do you share with your family that prove to you that you are blood? if you were adopted, are there any that stand you obviously apart?

Well, if I was left on my parents doorstep in a basket then I could fool Charles Darwin. I share my Mum's skin and my father's general body shape (flabby) and brooding short-fuse temper. We can both sulk for Britain, though I think his extra years of training would probably pip me at the post. My sister has my father's skin and my mothers short, loud, temper, which made the teenage years fun in our household. It's very difficult to find out why my Dad's pissed off, as the very question angers him more. Both me and my Dad have my grandfather's high forehead and the general appearance that, whatever hairstyle we pick, it's going to be the wrong one.

4)when you play video games, are you a "reaction and skill" gamecube type, or a "grown up roleplay" playstation type? what gives with all those folks who are the oppposite?

I tend to be better with stuff like Command and Conquer these days, though I do like first person shooters. My hand-eye co-ordination is a bit crap so anything that requires precision is a recipe for disaster. As I found many years ago with Sonic III. The little blue fucker... And frankly, anything with more controls on it than the cockpit of a fighter plane has me going "Now, the one with the square, that makes me question my opponant's parentage while the cross makes me undermine his feelings of self-worth- oh I've been killed." I will only attempt that dancing game if you pay me plenty of cash up front. I think people with that kind of skill should be looked on with admiration and awe, because on the whole they never notice the cyanide in the toothpaste.

5) if you cuold ask one searching question of yourself, what would it be? what would be the answer?

Is anything about you real, or are you just a collection of affectations? I honestly don't know the answer to that one.
 
 
gingerbop
21:13 / 28.10.03
I often wonder that. Do I have a personality, or is it just other people's opinions, chopped up a bit?

I cant believe Logos posted that, *goes red* but oh well. And because its rude not to answer, and I have nothing better, here goes whisperingfists 5:
) Given the choice, would your hair be made of diamonds or fire?
Fire. Although less split ends with diamonds.

2) You're walking down the street, and someone you've never met insists that if you don't hug them within the next five seconds, the high explosives wired to their person will detonate. How do you react?

Duh. Any excuse to hug a random stranger. Give em a big squeeze.

3) Why George Bush?
Dont get my started. I really dont know why. I only know, why not. I can guess, however, that a hell of a lot of people were sucked in by some fairly well put-together speeches. May be wrong...

4) If you could choose any animal for your lifelong companion on a desert island, which would it be? Would you name it?
A donkey. Useful, humble, lovable. I'd name him according to his or her personality (donkenality?)

5) If you suddenly discovered you could walk through walls, what kind of mischief and high jinks would you get up to?
Well, it'd only be useful if I was invisible too, really. Might go and have a look around buckingham palace or something, just to see what its like. God, what a rebel. It'd be interesting, and it'd make me angry, im sure. How many homeless people you could fit in all those empty rooms. Grrr.

I'll leave questioning to others, cause I cant think of decent questions.
 
 
Logos
21:58 / 28.10.03
Oops. Did I post something I shouldn't've?

Awfully sorry.
 
 
Char Aina
02:53 / 29.10.03
"....I liked her sister and quite fancied giving her a good seeing to."


[interview]

1)
would you walk five hundred miles, and then walk five hundred more, just to be the girl who walked a thousand miles to fall down at anyones in particular's door? but really? would it matter if it was raining as you set out?


Depends who's door, and if I knew they would be in. I'd rather fly, to be honest, and if it was raining, i'd wait til it stopped, if i were to walk. Or actually, id wait til summer. At one point, I know I would have. Seriously. But they were deluded times.

2)
when was the moment you realised that you would not be able to tell your parents everything?


Everything in general about everything, or jumping out the closet? There wasnt really a moment as such; theres been moments that iv really wanted to, but then thought whats the point/i dont have the guts/now isnt approriate. So not a moment, so much as a collection of moments, joining together to make a general concensus. I'll tell them if i ever have a proper girlfriend.


3)
in a fight between your favourite and your least favourite teachers from all throughout school, who would win? can you describe the highlights of the hypothetical bout?




I love you for this question. Its just so odd.
My favourite teacher: Mrs Ross, Business Management; She can control a class really well without having to raise her voice; make you learn when you barely realise your working; and keep authority whilst acting like your friend.
Least favourite: Monsieur Boyer, French. Smelly. Short. Fat. Bald. He reckoned, that because he learned french by the age of 2, we should be able to speak it perfectly when we were 15, and if not, we were stupid, and it wasnt HIS fault that he didnt teach us it.

Clearly Id like Mrs Ross to win, and height-wise she has the advantage, plus nails of course, and she certainly has the sharper wit for any non-physical fight. But Mr Boyers stench would drive even the hardiest contender away.

Highlight, if she got anywhere near him, would hopefully be gouging his eyes out and frying them, but in real life it would more likely be the battle of which department got more in the P.C. budget.

4)
what is the single funniest thing you can remember saying to a crowded room? if none retained in your memory feel funny enough to air, tell us the funniest thing your friends have ever said about you.



God, thats hard. Generally I dont say funny things, unless i dont mean them to be funny. Something kinda funny, was in a gymnastics disco many years ago, (and i cant actually remember it but have many-a-witness), I shouted to Ayumi that I liked her sister and quite fancied giving her a good seeing to. I didnt find out id said it til months later, for I was in rather a state.

Someone else- my old gym coach walked down our end of the bus on the way to a competition with around 50 girls aged about 7 all around us. She wondered what I was reading bits out of, that everyone was laughing at. She lifted the cover, and thought she was reading the mags name (it was an FHM) but read the title of an article, and amoungst all these tiny children announced loudly "Girl-on-Girl"
The look on her face when she realised what she'd done...


5)
are you in danger of becoming famous? what for?



To be honest, I'd love to become famous. Its a little half-hidden dream of mine. I know its gonna happen, in the same way I knew something else was gonna happen, which eventually did, although it took longer than anticipated. So hopefully this shall be the same.

I'd love to be a singer or something, but really, thats not gonna happen unless the fashion for out-of-tune-ness goes seriously into fashion.

A fashion designer would be nice, but im most probably not going to art college so that wont happen.

ANd I'd love to be a pro-gymnast, but id have had to be the level I am now, but with more strength, at the age of seven at the most, before i would have been considered for national trials, and even then, id be in the GB team= not great internationally. I was pretty much the only one in my entire generation at gym (about the 4 years surrounding me) not to even be ENTERED for north district trials. That is so ashamedly pathetic. But hell, Im club champion now, and arent they fucking grovelling.

Most of all, I'd like to be a model. But there are a few problems: Im 5'2" - id need to be at least 5'9" for it, except petite modelling = not famous. I have red hair= not preferred a la modelling world. I have craters a la chicken pox in the middle of my face... but I dont think im as ugly as a LOT of the girls modelling these days. Because of the short-ness, Kylie is my hero. In fact, Im taller than her.

I am locally famous, a la Inverness Courier.
One day I will be infamous.

[/interview]



good stuff, from the lovely gingerbop!
 
 
whisperingfist
05:53 / 29.10.03
Thanks for answering my questions Gingerbop. Sorry I got it wrong with posting my questios rather than sending a private message. Anyway, I'm going to try and get it right this time, and officially invite an interview. Whoever may be curious, ask away. No question will be left unturned. The giftquestion will not have it's mouth examined.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
06:08 / 29.10.03
toksik- I've got your questions- I'm just taking my time thinking of good answers to them. (And waiting for the interwebnet to not be quite as fucking slow as it seems to be at the moment.)
 
 
whisperingfist
07:00 / 30.10.03
Toksik, I thank you most humbly for my interview. You were both gentle and kind. So, here is my mind:

1)
imagine party powers; like super powers, but only really good at parties. the kind of thing you can impress potential bedfellows and friends with, but you would find useless against a real villain. what would yours be?

I think I would like to be able to skip really really well. I could impress the whole party with my skipping skills (which would prabaly include being able to make a sex on the beach cocktail whilst skipping), and then afterwards, I would be able to further impress whichever lucky lady took my fancy, by whispering sweetly in her ear 'I may appear to be in control of the skip, but when I look at you, my heart skips a beat'. Lovely.

2)
do you have a visison for the world? what will you do about it and how far along are your plans?

I want to rid the world of all concrete, and make it just like the garden of eden once more. As such, I regularly go out in the middle of the night and make little holes in the tarmac on major roads (M25, that sort of thing) and plant oak tree seeds. As the oak is definitely the mightiest of all trees, over the next ten years or so these trees will grow and overtake the world. Grow, grow my pretties.....

Oh, and I 've planted just one apple tree. The snake is part of phase 2.

3)
what is the most worthy thing you have ever done that no one knows about?

Just last night, I saved the queen from mortal peril. I'd just finished planting an oak seed on The Mall, when I saw a man walking towards the palace carrying a violin case. 'Ello 'ello 'ello, I thought, this can only mean one thing. He plans to strangle our glorious monarch with a violin string, and I for one do not intend to stand aside and allow this to happen. I rugby tackled the man from behind (he looked about 57, but I could tell that he knew how to handle himself, and so I needed to incapacitate the blighter, and fast) and then while he was on the ground, I sat on him so that he couldn't move. I then opened the case and cut every one of his strings into pieces no bigger than a matchstick.

There have been no reportings of danger to the Queen this morning, so I think it is safe to say that my mission was a success.

4)
can you imagine a world without barbelith? how would it be different?

Yeah, I think I can. I think it would be like a world without eggs. And I am quite partial to a boiled egg, especially if it's got a soft yolk and is accompanied by toast soldiers. mmmmm

5)
how often have you beaten anyone unconscious? how many times have you been beaten unconscious?

None, and none. I once threw yoghurt at a boys face, but I was only nine at the time, and I think he was too shocked to react.
 
 
spidermonkey
09:08 / 30.10.03
I'd like to invite an interview, bit scared, be gentle with me!
 
 
Lionheart
02:20 / 31.10.03
I wanna be interviewed.
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
11:51 / 05.11.03
Mazarine put these in PM for me ages ago. So they're resurrected while I'm on my whirlwind tour here. Hm. And yanno, Mazarine is lovely and deserves to be answered. And made tea.

1. If you had to live your life out in any TV series, currently running or cancelled, what series would you choose and why?
Tie. Futurama or Twin Peaks. Futurama only because there's a chance I could be Kif, but Twin Peaks because there's just something very comforting about it. I'd like a house like the Black Lodge. With less garmonbozia, however.


2. What’s your favorite style of architecture? If you don’t know the official architecture school name, indicate a well-known or easily looked-up building that fits the bill.
Not a style, but an architect: Hawksmoor. Particularly Christ Church, Spitalfields: it's got that vertiginous thing going on that makes it look like it's appointed for something not altogether right and holy. I like that in a building. Beats fibro, anyway.

3. You’re going to serve breakfast in bed to an object of deep love or lust next to whom you’ve awoken. What would you serve? Assume whatever kitchen you’re in is perfectly stocked for the occasion.
Keep. It. Simple. It's better when you make something yourself, and the simpler it is, the better. With breakfasts, I find simpler to be better, too - the effort shines, not the collapsed souffle. I have it on good authority that my scrambled eggs, grilled mushrooms, bacon and snags - with mug of lovely tea - is a winner.

4. What is your greatest physical weakness?
My size. I'm not a shut-in, but I'm a big guy. Rugby-player size. It really is gonna fuck me later if I don't get on top of it now and get into the flexibility stuff.

Well, that and the fact that they removed my alloyed skeleton. Fuckheads.

5. Bizarre forces have conspired to cause one song of your choosing to play whenever you enter a room/location. After a few minutes, it will fade unnoticably into the background, crescendoing again at climactic moments. What song do you choose?

See, this is one I can't exactly narrow down. I'd like to think that Anton Karas' theme from The Third Man would be it. Only ONE song is hard. Otherwise? Suede's "Beautiful Ones", Dirty Three's "Authentic Celestial Music" or Led Zeppelin's "The Lemon Song". Yeah, the bit about 25 seconds in where Page slides the Hendrix chord up the neck and it goes all porn. You know it.

Aw, take your pick.
 
 
Ex
17:39 / 05.11.03
This thread charms me. I want to give something back to folk - interview me.
(If you ask nice questions, it will be 'something back' like a suprise reciprocal tin of Quality Street at Christmas. If you ask mean questions, it will be something more like syphillis.)
 
 
PatrickMM
01:37 / 04.08.05
Here's to bringing this thread back after nearly two years. Toksik sent over the questions, and I'll now send some stuff over to whoever wants them. Just post your request here.

1)
when did you last touch someone famous? how was it for both of you?

That would be Wong Kar-Wai, Hong Kong film director. He was doing a Q&A at Lincoln Center, and as he was walking out I got a quick brush on the shoulder. I don't think he really noticed the touch, but I have to respect someone who's concerned enough with fashion to wear a leather jacket in the middle of summer.

2)
you make me sick! why might you repel others?

Hmm, quasi-hipster elitism perhaps? Like a lot of Barbelith people might experience, I frequently run into problems when showing people a film I really like and having them criticize for being "weird" or "pointless," when I'm just sitting there basking in the glory. I still don't get how you could call Magnolia weird. So, perhaps this confusion about common tastes might repel others, or even just the fact that I referred to other people's tastes as 'common' and insinuated that they are somehow inferior to my rarified taste.

3)
what barbelith thread that we havent seen for at least three months have you read most recently? why? what stopped you from posting more on the end?

I came across this thread that I made right after I finished The Invisibles for the first time. I saw it linked in an e-mail I sent years ago and reading it took me back to a really different time. What stopped me from posting? First off, it's been a couple of years since I read the book and I just don't have the vast knowledge of the Invisi-verse that I had back then, a lot of the details have slipped away. But one day, after I do another reread, I'll bring it back.


4)
if you were a film what film would you be? what other film would be able to take you to the cleaners in a pub car park?

I would say 'Before Sunrise,' a film that chronicles something I'd love to have happen to me, and in which both the characters reflect a lot of my personality. What film could take this 100 minutes of talk about philosophy and personal issues? For one, probably Death Wish 4: The Crackdown.

5)
when did you last cry? why? would it make you cry if it happened again, or did the experience make you harder?

It was actually reading We3, the Grant Morrison comic, which I found strange because I'm not particularly a fan of animals, yet something in the book really got to me. I think it's the same reason Leon: The Professional really affected me and that's the combination of heavy violence and basically innocent, naive characters. I haven't cried from something in real life in a long time, which perhaps reflects the fact that I don't take enough risks, or am too guarded with my emotions. I think crying over that book actually made me more open to crying in future similar experiences, because it opened up something inside me.

There you have it.
 
 
Sean the frumious Bandersnatch
20:28 / 04.08.05
Open to anybody who wants to answer. 'Cause I'm kinda bored.

1. How do you feel about Sean? Do you hate him as much as everyone else on Barbelith does?

2. What do you want to happen to you after you die- reincarnation, eternal nothingness, life on earth as a ghost or zombie, assimilation into God, turned into robot, or live forever in heaven?

3. If your genetalia could talk, what would it say to you?

4. Why are you replying to these questions? Who do you think cares? Why do you even bother living?

5. If you could make love to any one city after said city turned into a human, what city would it be?
 
 
Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!
20:36 / 04.08.05
1. How do you feel about Sean? Do you hate him as much as everyone else on Barbelith does?

Should I feel anything? Mainly I don't care.

2. What do you want to happen to you after you die- reincarnation, eternal nothingness, life on earth as a ghost or zombie, assimilation into God, turned into robot, or live forever in heaven?

I'm going to live forever.

3. If your genetalia could talk, what would it say to you?

Give it up.

4. Why are you replying to these questions? Who do you think cares? Why do you even bother living?

I'm drunk, and who wouldn't care? This is me. I'm like the best. In teh ever!!111 obvs.

5. If you could make love to any one city after said city turned into a human, what city would it be?

New York City. The dirty bitch.
 
 
Char Aina
20:51 / 04.08.05

1. How do you feel about Sean? Do you hate him as much as everyone else on Barbelith does?
no way in particular.
i notice sean enough to know he inhabits the board, but i couldnt say one thing i hated or loved about his posts.


2. What do you want to happen to you after you die- reincarnation, eternal nothingness, life on earth as a ghost or zombie, assimilation into God, turned into robot, or live forever in heaven?
i'm open to most things.
zombification would suck, what with that whole eternal hunger issue. likewise being a ghost or experiencing etrnal nothingness...
i wouldnt mind having my consciousness downloaded into a death dealing robot, just so long as i still had pleasure receptors and someone invents hallucinogenic programs for my CPU.
ACIEEEEEEEED, etc.


3. If your genetalia could talk, what would it say to you?

i get the feeling we might argue.



4. Why are you replying to these questions? Who do you think cares? Why do you even bother living?

same reason you wrote em, prolly.
that and the feeling that interaction is a better way to while away all my time than staring at a screen or pretending to work.



5. If you could make love to any one city after said city turned into a human, what city would it be?

probably paris.
i like my fucking complicated, and paris seems complicated as hell. also, as the destination of choice for many folks after a romantic fuck-holiday, paris seems like it would morph into my kinda lady.
yeah, it would have to be a lady.
paris as a man? no deal.
 
 
*
21:26 / 04.08.05
1. How do you feel about Sean? Do you hate him as much as everyone else on Barbelith does?

I agree with toksik and suedey. I don't know much about you, Sean, and I haven't seen anything particularly odious that I can recall. If the three of us are representative of "everyone else on Barbelith," then yes, I hate you as much as everyone else on Barbelith— which is to say, not at all.

2. What do you want to happen to you after you die- reincarnation, eternal nothingness, life on earth as a ghost or zombie, assimilation into God, turned into robot, or live forever in heaven?

I dreamed my ideal afterlife a few years ago. I became an enlightened floaty guy who could make myself seen to people I needed to. It was like being alive, but I didn't have to eat, I could walk through walls, and I knew everything. And everything was funny. And when I got bored of the world, and I didn't get bored easily, I dissolved into the cosmic megathingy temporarily for a refreshing nap.
Barring that, reincarnation could be cool— or horrid, depending.

3. If your genetalia could talk, what would it say to you?

Interesting question. I think we would enter long and boring negotiations, which would end thusly: "I don't care what you call me or how you think of me, just don't cut me up. Okay? Okay."
You asked.

4. Why are you replying to these questions? Who do you think cares? Why do you even bother living?

Because no one interviews me, and I expect I'll be glad of the practice when I become famous. I'm sure you must care, since you bothered asking. If you don't care about the questions you asked, well, ask different questions. And I bother living because there are still interesting things to do before I turn into an enlightened floaty guy who knows everything and thinks everything is funny.

5. If you could make love to any one city after said city turned into a human, what city would it be?

San Francisco. But, you know, the grown-up San Francisco. We'd tie each other up, but use quick-release knots. We'd fuck, but we'd use protection. We wouldn't be monogamous, but we'd talk about it.
 
 
astrojax69
00:32 / 05.08.05
mebbe someone wants to talk to me? interview subject at your disposal...
 
  

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