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Being Lord Fanny

 
 
penitentvandal
17:29 / 21.10.03
I'll keep this brief because I'm off to have my tea.

I intend to carry out a public working, within a week, which will involve me having to get dressed up as what can best be described as a Japanese glam-punk ladyboy.

Given that my experience at transvestism is limited to wearing the odd (badly applied) bit of lippy and nail varnish, this presents a mild problem.

Thus: I appeal to you, gentlemen, ladies, and boygirls of Barbelith, for advice. How does one go about putting together the glammest possible outfit in less than a week? I need make-up tips most of all; but anything would be of assistance. Anyone willing to help li'l ol' me out on this one?
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
18:57 / 21.10.03
Possibly not relevent as you seem to be wanting to go Lord Fanny, but if you have a body shape that isn't willowy thin or Brian Molko, don't try to look like a woman. I suggest instead you deliberately try to look like a bloke in a dress. I never try to go glam but I try to look fairly blokey (helps by having a rectangular body shape and being bulky) and that seems to work for me better than if I was trying to dress up my mutton to look like lamb. YMMV.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
19:28 / 21.10.03
Random tips.

First off, shake your tail down to the newsagents, load up on girl's and woman's mags. Try the ones aimed at the early- and pre-teen markets-- they often come with pots of tacky makeup on the front. Bargin. Look for pix that resemble your dream she-vandal, cut them out, stick them on your wall. Make a little collage.

Then go down to the thrift stores and other cheap clothing outlets. Buy stuff.

Then hit the art supply shops and the haberdashers, for to pick up your fuzzy faux-fur, sequins, ribbons and fabric paints. Can you get Glossies where you are? They're great-- little squeezy bottles of acrylic gunk for drawing and writing on your clothes and shoes. You can make puddles of the stuff on your gear and stick beads, fake gems, etc. right in them.

Now, let's get you some makeup. First, foundation. To find your shade, sqirt a little of the tester onto the back of your hand. Go for the closest match possible. Also, pick something translucent, like a tinted moisturizer, rather than something thick and pancakey.

Now for your eyes. Pick a nice soft eyeliner pencil (don't be afraid to spend a bit more) and some liquid liner too. (The liquid goes on over the pencil.) Choose a matte shadow; frosted shadows tend to crease and look wrinkly, and glitter shadows are hell if they get in your eye. Pink and red colours can make you look tired or even deathly (I love'em, but I'm a goth).

Mascara is a must. Get the best you can afford, and try other colours besides black. (I'm currently addicted to silver mascara, but that's just me.) Bright blue mascara is still around, if you want to go for a really '80s vibe.

You wanna be glam, so look at face glitter and sequins. Sequins can be stuck on with moistureizer, but you might want to use eyelash glue.

When you put on lipstick, use a brush and put lip-liner on first. This stops your lipstick from melting into the little lines round your mouth and looking smudgy. Use a clear sealer like Lipcote.

Since you're not used to makeup, you're going to have to make a special effort not to touch your face, or you'll smear everything up. Here's a tip from the Goth scene: Get a can of the softest, vitaminest hairspray you can find. When you've finished doing your makeup, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and hairspray your face all over. This will stop stuff from smudging.

Oh, and remember-- only sluts sleep in slap. Wash your face before you turn in.
 
 
--
01:31 / 22.10.03
I've been tempted for awhile to crossdress, but I keep putting it off (well, lack of privacy where I live doesn't help matters much either). But I read a book called "The lazy crossdresser" and took lots of notes, so when the time is right I'll be prepared at least.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
11:42 / 22.10.03
Yeah, I was coming back to suggest 'Lazy Crossdresser' because it does help cross the range of types of cd-ing...
 
 
Tamayyurt
12:29 / 22.10.03
Dude, I have a tip for you: you want to go Jap, go SCHOOL GIRL UNIFORM! Shave your legs (or use hair removing cream) find knee high stockings, pleated skirt, white blouse, blue blazer, red tie. Then add all of Mordant's make up tips. And you've got a glam, japanese ladyboy! Actually, prop some goggles on you're head and as a nod to our very own Jenny Everywhere.
 
 
Tamayyurt
12:31 / 22.10.03
Don't forget to take pictures and post them here... at best you'd be eye candy and at worst a good laugh. Think of it as your banishing act.
 
 
penitentvandal
14:55 / 22.10.03
Mordant - many thanx for the exhaustive, J17-style tips - surely everything today's modern young lady should require. One thing though: I'm gonna need to put some white face make-up on (both for that authentic visual kei look and as a sort of kabuki/geisha nod). At what stage should one apply that?
 
 
--
15:16 / 22.10.03
On an unrelated sidenote, I actually met the writer of "lazy Crossdresser" at some club, during one of his spoken word shows in Providence. Nice guy (girl?)
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
23:15 / 22.10.03
Whiteface? You've come to the right shop!

Okay. First, find a decent white foundation. Your best and cheapest bet, unless you want to look like Bozo the Clown, is to get a pot of white eyeshadow-- the loose kind, if you can find it.

Don't put white foundation right on your bare skin. Before you put on the whitey, you'll need to even out your complexion. Apply the tinted moisturizer mentioned earlier. If you have a European complexion, you may have some redness in your cheeks or nose. Even this out with concealer, dotted on and them blended in with the fingertips. Serious redness may need a light green concealer.

All done? Now, take your pot of eyeshadow and apply it carefully with a big fat blusher brush, all over your fizzog. This is the only time you're allowed to break the No Frosted Eyeshadow rule, BTW. A shimmery shadow looks just angelic.

You can use kiddy facepaints if you're in a rush. Just bear in mind that the coverage will be patchy and won't pass muster close up.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
23:18 / 22.10.03
Oh, and of course: the whiteface goes on before the rest of your makeup, but after your clothes.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
17:04 / 30.10.03
*threadrot*

Mordant, I love you, am calling my autobiog 'Only Sluts Sleep In Slap.
 
 
cusm
20:15 / 30.10.03
Mod hat.

Though fabulous, the topic is hardly magickal.

Shall we relocate to Art & Fashon?
 
 
osymandus
21:15 / 30.10.03
??? Thought this was an invocation for the arousal of someones anima ?

Sounds magical to me ? Better out then in ;-)
 
 
Olulabelle
21:40 / 30.10.03
[Complete and utter threadrot]

Mordant, where, where do you get silver mascara from?

[End complete and utter threadrot]
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
00:04 / 02.11.03
I can certainly see your point, cusm, but I'm minded to leave the thread here for now, see how it develops.

velvetvandal, have you done your ritual yet? How did it go?
 
 
Imaginary Mongoose Solutions
14:32 / 02.11.03
I did something very similar last Smahain. Decided at the last minute to do drag for a party and made it into a ritual wherein I evoked Fanny. Had a fabulous time, positively exuded sex despite the fact I'm not appealing in drag and ended up having wild misadventures and far too much Absinthe. I call it success.
 
 
penitentvandal
17:41 / 05.11.03
'Far too much absinthe. I call it success.' Can I nick that?

The ritual has indeed been done, though photos will take a while to appear - probably this weekend, when I get the time to sort out the cabling to my PC (my 'puter lacks a usb port, so I have to use some kind of strange cable to download stuff from the digital camera I borrowed - it's complicated). There's a load of writing about it up on the website @ the mo, but if you're desperate to see it accompanied by sexy photos of yours truly then I'd advise you to wait 'til the weekend.

The shot of me in a toilet looking like the Rent Boy from Hell, however, will definitely go in the photo thread in conversation. Oh yes.
 
  
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