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Deva, I was going to confess this before on the 96 music thread but didn't: in 2000 I got the idea for a zine that was all about 1996. I started ripping up my diary from 1996 and pasting together the entries in a cut-up. Which I can't find, but it was angsty as hell. Anyhow I didn't ever do the zine, but if I ever find the cut-ups I'll paste them here.
1996 was a caution. I turned 21. In the 95-96 summer I was living in college and worked at an Italian takeaway in a shopping mall. All my friends had moved to the groovy bohemian suburbs and it was the first summer I'd spent by myself, not with my family in the country. We all smoked huge amounts of dope, bong after bong after bong with the TV turned to music videos. In around January I got kicked out of college for not paying my fees and found a similarly bonghead sharehouse. At the beginning of the year I was wearing long black velvet skirts, tight nylon see-through 70's shirts, Doc Martens, a lot of black eyeliner and far too much mascara... By the end of the year I had short hair and was trying out the baby butch look, tight pinstripes, white t-shirts, boxer shorts.
Ah, 21, the great era of masochistic attractions leading to disaster. A boy who was constantly asking me whether I was a dyke or not (at this stage, not) but who in retrospect I am certain was gay, although he had a girlfriend. A 48-year-old tantric healer from Georgia, USA named Bud who offered me 'massages' that ended in tantric sex instruction. The girl I'd had a crush on for a year who finally decided she was in love with me but called it off after a weekend because she wanted to date this French friend of ours who, incidentally, I'd been flirting with. The other girl I got a crush on, we were just 'friends'. Once she took me to a party at which she would hold hands with me, but only when her ex was in the room -- making the girlfriend jealous, supposedly, and spreading a fake rumour all the way back to my mother that I was bonking this girl. |
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