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I feel like I'm going mad...

 
  

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Tom Coates
16:44 / 19.02.02
I've got an assessment day tomorrow at the BBC for a job that I really want. But more than that - it's the first job that I've really wanted in ages. It's now only two weeks until one YEAR to the day that I left Time Out. And it has been anything but a good year. I've had VERY sporadic work, almost completely no money, difficult home situations etc. etc. etc. I'm exhausted and I want it to end, but I can't see it happening.

And of course this job - this job I really want - I'm now put so much pressure on myself to get it that I'm wired out of my skull.

In the meantime, some arsehole keeps e-mailing me demanding that I put up his, barely edited from the original sent to him by the man in question, opinion on The Knowledges departure in which yet again moderators are called weak, I'm told that I've been influenced and how disappointed with me they are...

Oh and I haven't got any money, had to spend the last bit of interview clothes, gave up smoking seven days ago, have to move out of my flat in eight weeks time (and can't see how I'm going to be able to do that unless I get the job - see above - hence putting more pressure on me).

This evening I feel like I'm going to bloody explode. HELP ME.
 
 
Seth
16:48 / 19.02.02
You'll be in my prayers, mate. God bless - I pray peace to you, and success for your job.

Take some time to sit down, close your eyes and chill - even if it's only twenty minutes.
 
 
uncle retrospective
16:51 / 19.02.02
God Tom that's rough..
All I can say is walk away from here and ignore all barb mail till you get this job stuff worked out.

And have a nice cup of tea.

Good luck with the interview.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
16:55 / 19.02.02
Go and do something silly.

My recommendation - put on your raggedest clothes and start begging for change until you have enough for a game of miniature golf.

This works really well if it's raining.

Cheese sammiges and hot tea on the course.

And burn any mail that does not say Tom Coates is the greatest man alive.

[ 19-02-2002: Message edited by: Wisdom of idiots ]
 
 
MJ-12
16:55 / 19.02.02
quote:Originally posted by uncle retrospective:
God Tom that's rough..
All I can say is walk away from here and ignore all barb mail till you get this job stuff worked out.


I'd go one further and say ignore the arse-mail altogether. And, dropping the smokes will save you money in perpetuity, and improve many other things once you're over the hump, so don't despair.
 
 
Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo
16:56 / 19.02.02
I agree about walking a bit back from here. You have good people to watch over it for a few days while you take care of you.

As for the other things...being semi-out-of-work now I know the fear and anxiewty that go with job interviews and the like. It sucks. I suggest a night of your favorite food and Marx Brothers movies. It always works...
 
 
bio k9
16:59 / 19.02.02
Do you jog? Is there a gym you can go to? Seriously. Working out is a pain in the ass if youre not used to it but it will also make you tired as hell. A little bit of exercise will make you sleep better and just feel better in general. You really need to relax about the job thing. I went through a year and a half of not being able to find a good job (not sure if the job I have is actually "good" but it pays the bills) and I'm sure that the stench of desperation is one of the things that kept me from finding one. Just let it go and it will take care of itself.


Congrats on your decision to quit smoking. Hope you stick with it.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
17:10 / 19.02.02
((BIG TELETUBBY HUG))

I've got the Buddhist in the back bedroom chanting for you and I've put one of my most evil hexes on the poor soul who's been so tainted by the Knowledge. You know you did the right thing there, Tom, so fuck 'em all!

I can identify with the job thing, going through similar, but I am medicating myself with 750mls of undiluted Chianti and thinking about all the other times I nearly worried myself to death and how it served no purpose at all but making me miserable.

Good for you, keeping of them nasty fags. That's got to be part of feeling so shitty. I always just nearly get there and then fuck it up. But, heartened by your example, am giving up again tomorrow.

All this must pass. Maybe not tomorrow, but very soon it will all feel a hell of a lot better.

And if you do go mad, I can recommend very psexy psychiatrist. And I could nurse you, in a Swedish kind of way...

Take care, King Blog. Be good to yourself and remind yourself every ten minutes what a talented fucker you are.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
17:25 / 19.02.02
Aww, man, I wish I could help. Obviously, my dubious magickal talents are being aimed in your direction right now.

Block this guy's email if you can, delete it unread if you can't.

You probably know all this stuff already, but here's some links to relaxation sites anyway: exercizes for computer users, and a fluffy, New-Agey site

And remember- we'll all be thinking of you.

Love and best wishes, MCxx
 
 
bitchiekittie
17:29 / 19.02.02
come to america, much easier to find a job here (so Im told)!

seriously, good luck and best wishes. I personally have complete faith that youll be up and running in no time (if you cant, Im worried about the rest of us)
 
 
Dao Jones
17:41 / 19.02.02
I have kerosene, I have matches. Let's burn down everything except your job.

And the cute people.

Long time no see...(you, not them).
 
 
Ierne
17:42 / 19.02.02
Good luck Tom – I know how tough it is to find/keep a job (especially a desirable one) these days. I'll send some good mojo your way tonight.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
17:43 / 19.02.02
Good luck with the interview, I'd second, third, forth, the idea of taking a step back.

Not having the willpower you have I've unsuccessfully tried to quit smoking a couple of times. What you're describing sounds like it has a lot to do with the fags on top of everything else.

And whomever's e-mailing him, stop it.
 
 
Bear
17:48 / 19.02.02
Things will get better Tom - good luck for tomorrow...I'll do you a bit o' hocus pocus right now....as I'm sure all the rest of the magick times will....
 
 
w1rebaby
17:55 / 19.02.02
hell, we all know you're better than they deserve. You're doing them a favour by going there. (Best not to let them know that, though.)

All the best regardless.
 
 
bitchiekittie
18:18 / 19.02.02
forgot to say, you need someone to do the dirty work of getting rid of your little nuisance, lemme know. *cracks knuckles menacingly*
 
 
Persephone
18:28 / 19.02.02
Hullo Tom,

As it happens I have baked a cake this afternoon & will feed it to Gek on your behalf. Try to meditate and see if you can smell apple and cinnamon...

Best,
P.

[ 19-02-2002: Message edited by: Persephone ]
 
 
Rev. Wright
18:33 / 19.02.02
just remember the immortal lines by Brian Blessed as Vultan in Flash Gordon.



'Ah, well. Who wants to live forever? DIVE'
 
 
sleazenation
18:46 / 19.02.02
GORDON'S ALIVE???!!
 
 
Sauron
18:58 / 19.02.02
Stay cool. We all love you and life's too short for emailing arses. Best of luck tomorrow.

[ 19-02-2002: Message edited by: Sauron ]
 
 
—| x |—
19:30 / 19.02.02
Hey Tom,

Like your lungs are starting to go (albeit slowly, but surely nevertheless) from black to a nice healthy pink, so is your life, ya? Take a moment to fold yourself into the vast body of people here who form a web of positive intent for you to wrap around yourself like the most comfortable and warm blanket you could ever imagine. In the same way a person heats up the blanket that covers them, maybe you could harmlessly dissipate some of that anxious energy into this collective, ya?

And sadly, all this Knowledge stuff is still continuing to cause people needless pain and suffering, and for that whoever the Knowledge was should be more concerned with making amends for hir questionable behaviour than s/he should be for disciplining and criticizing others. Like a fish that is too small, I think we oughta' simply toss all this back into the sea. We need not accept everything that comes our way so let this pass us by, ya?

Barbelith is a sweet place to be able to come and visit, Tom, and I know that I speak for most of us when I say:

Thank you, Tom, for creating this nexus of interaction. Anyone who can create and maintain this kinda’ place has gotta' be able to do whatever the hell/heaven that s/he wants!

Peace and chocolate chip cookies (feed those to gek, ya?),
93 + 23 – 2 = 0 (mod 3)
 
 
_pin
19:38 / 19.02.02
[to the same tune as before... ]
Tom Coates rocks like a bastard!
Tom Coates rocks like a bastard!
[/to the same tune as before... ]

What would I want to wish you good luck in yr interview for? You don't need it, you fucking rule! They don't give you it, we'll boycott the BBC for all the time it takes them to put Buffy on.

We love you, but we're fickle.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
20:12 / 19.02.02
Argh - chin up, Tom. Sorry if we're a ungrateful and troublesome bunch of mutants to oversee a lot of the time... Good luck with the job, and don't let the stress get to you... Be sure to tell us how we can make this small part of your life easier, and slap us about a bit when we don't.

Meantime, I think it's about time we had another cash/presents whip-round... Hmmm...
 
 
that
20:25 / 19.02.02
Good luck, Tom. Hope things get better really soon...
 
 
Mr insensitive
20:27 / 19.02.02
More importantly than anything else: When at the end of the interview, they ask you if you have any more questions, make sure you ask "is there any doubt in your minds about whether I am capable of doing this job, that I am determined to succeed in this job, and that I desire to do this job?"

That's what got me my latest gig anyway.



[ 19-02-2002: Message edited by: Mr insensitive ]
 
 
alas
20:33 / 19.02.02
tom--i'll be in the royal courts of justice tomorrow--isn't that just down the strand from the BBC? Things are looking good for me in court; so I will send as much good karma as I can muster to you down the street.

We'll all drink to you weds. night and buy you a round if you show up at the pub with us--that tomorrow night at 6, remember, cheshire cheese... Now I really will pay pal you some money for this site--i've been meaning to. Will that help? Is that something we should all do, like NOW!!!

alas
 
 
odd jest on horn
20:34 / 19.02.02
good luck Tom. The job interview is going to be fine and you know it.

fags. just visualize yourself taking a deep, deep smoke, really let yourself embrace the idea of smoking. then just let it go. worked for me.

and it's alright to explode a bit. go out and scream and scream. it's fine. i usually do it in my car as i'm a bit worried about the neighbours hearing it. very stress relieving.
 
 
noone
20:42 / 19.02.02
yeah good luck tom. but remember - the more you practise the luckier you get. and also - re: time out - so that's how you know her, my friend.. i wondered what the connection was.
 
 
pacha perplexa
09:01 / 20.02.02
I feel exactly the same way, Tom.

After deciding to live in London, I went looking for a job that would allow me to pay for a post graduation course here. With this, I'd be able to apply for the Home Office and change my tourist visa to a student visa, so I can live legally in UK for one year with a work permit.

The paradox is: I didn't get a job because I don't have a work permit, so I can't pay for the course and, therefore, can't get a work permit.

Now I'm running out of money, and the rooms to let that I can afford are tiny boxes with holes, which is why I'm still looking for a decent place to stay as well as a job.

Aaaarrr.

What I can say is: if it gets too hard, don't be embarassed to ask you friends for help.
 
 
Ganesh
09:01 / 20.02.02
All the best, Tom. If anyone deserves this, it's you.

Crap interview tip no.5682: put your (new) interview clothes on early and walk around in them a bit so you don't feel too stiff and formal by actual interview time.
 
 
Wyrd
09:01 / 20.02.02
Good luck with the interview Tom, I'll be directing helpful vibs your way later today.

You will walk among them like a God!
 
 
01
09:01 / 20.02.02
You're going to get the job. No need to worry.
 
 
Ganesh
09:01 / 20.02.02
quote:Originally posted by 01:
You're going to get the job. No need to worry.


No disrespect intended, 01, but when I'm in a similar situation, I hate people saying this stuff. I want to tear chunks of my own hair out and scream in their faces, "DON'T TELL ME NOT TO WORRY! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT!"

Apologies for interview flashback. Good vibes your way, Tom.
 
 
Cavatina
09:01 / 20.02.02
Tom, all best wishes for your interview - may everything go very well, and the outcome be conveyed to you soon afterwards.
 
 
Vadrice
09:01 / 20.02.02
I've never really had the chance to sit down and talk to you or anything, but you rock my face off anyway. So from a selfish standpoint... I have a feeling you will continue to do so. Maybe that means monitary success, but...
Huzzah.
You wow me. Wow them like that.
 
  

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