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I was on telly

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The Natural Way

13:05 / 12.10.03

My friend The Duchess was on Pets Win Prizes.

13:29 / 12.10.03

About 10 years ago I was on an Austin, TX cable-access (one-time) panel show called "Hackers: Threat or Menace?" after a great National Lampoon parody poster that nobody remembers. We were in the Houston and Austin Electronic Frontier Foundation affiliates and the idea was "let's try to make the public more aware of this cyber-hacky-thingy." Since I'd read the most issues of Mondo2000, bOING bOING and that new Wired magazine, I spewed some nonsense about "art damage" and edgily anticipating the millennium. It was in the daytime, so I doubt anyone actually watched it.

Hey Stoatie, tell about "Hackers!" I double dog dare ya!

20:14 / 12.10.03

Tiz Woz!

It's actually spelt Tiswas Boboss, as in:
This Is Saturday, Wake-up And Smile.

Just for the record

22:05 / 12.10.03

I was going to say that, but thought it would be too pernickety.

11:34 / 13.10.03

I was on Record Breakers, playing trombone in the world's biggest big band. We played the outro theme, 'Dedication'.

However, this story is far more interesting than that, purely due to the reaction of my mother. I shall explain.

Before we were to play, they filmed us entering the studio, and me, in my fifteen year old wisdom, decided to lurch along the corridor like the hunchback of notre dame, pulling a silly face to boot. Naturally I figured they'd never air that, as they were filming loads of us. I guessed they'd only show the pretty ones. Unfortunately for my mom, she had told everyone she worked with to watch the show, as the child she was so proud of was gonna be on telly. She could hardly deal with work the next day, because almost all of her friends were asking her who the dickhead with the limp was, and she had to explain that it was me (although, now I think about it, she could have lied, and then just put me into hiding for a few days).

The best part in all of this was that, as a result of my behaviour on national television, my mom announced that I would never be allowed to drive, on the basis that if I couldn't behave sensibly on telly, how would I ever be sensible behind the wheel?!?!?!?

11:51 / 13.10.03

Adamswish, I am appalled by your pedantry.

12:39 / 13.10.03

I've just remembered I was also on tv during the 1999 UK eclipse, on a documentary about, you guessed it, Druidry. Less socially-acceptably, I have also recalled that... . Um. Well. This is difficult for me. It was when I was a child. It. Was. Emu's. Pink. Windmill. Show.

* hops round room chanting, "there's somebody at the door, there's somebody at the door" etc etc *

(oh and sorry Statesiders, if you don't get the reference, I don't think that show made it over the pond. You were damn lucky.)

13:13 / 13.10.03

"I've been on Blue Peter because I came second in a poster competition." - Olulabelle

No shit! It wasn't the Giants of Land and Sea competition, (run to promote an exhibition at the Natural History Museum) was it? I was a runner up and my poster was flashed up very quickly. If it was, then you beat me and are now my enemy.

Incidentally, I think your post was far too modest. The owning of a Blue Peter badge is one of the noblest things one can achieve. Like being a knight of the realm but younger. Be proud.

13:36 / 13.10.03

You're appalled by it Boboss, I've got to live with it mate

Goodness Gracious Meme

13:44 / 13.10.03

"It was when I was a child. It. Was. Emu's. Pink. Windmill. Show. "

Oh. My. God.

for the yanks, the full horror:
"Based in the Pink Windmill, Rod & Emu are joined by hundreds of stage school brats, who would start singing at the drop of a hat. A simple knock on the door would result in totally unnecessary chorus of ... 'There's somebody at the door !"

Reading this thread, i'm rather glad i've never been on telly.

15:48 / 13.10.03

This is off thread, apologies, but it is fucking funny, and did involve a TV.

I was reminded of this story due to the dude who got banned from driving for TV ineptitude.

A friend of a friend was sent to his room after arguing with his dad that Paul Simon was Chevy Chase.

Remember the video to 'Call me Al'? This was the source of the confusion.

Apparently Paul Simon went to collect an award on TV and this guy says to his Dad: 'Look! That's Chevy Chase'

His dad replies; 'No, it's not it's Paul Simon'

To which the kid replies 'No, that's Chevy Chase'

To which his Dad says 'Go to your room'

He was aged nine.

Masterful Parenting.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

15:59 / 13.10.03

Bill, I hope you had some sort of counselling after that. I mean, there are childhood traumas and there are childhood traumas, but Emu's Pink Windmill... *shudders*

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

16:01 / 13.10.03

Bill.

You.

Met.

Emu.

I am so not worthy.

I've been on telly loads, most of it shit... I used to work in the London Forbidden Planet, so any time anyone needed to interview someone about anything even vaguely futuristic, they ask us. And I was the only one too polite (or wussy) to tell 'em to fuck off.

First time I was on telly, though, was when I was about 14... I was on a kids' game show called "Treasures of the Mind Lord". It was awaful. But I did meet one of the Time Bandits (see, it's that midget thing again). And, most importantly, we FUCKING WON. So Ner.

Last and most amusingly, I was on the "Lowri" show... having been asked, on the phone, at FP whether I was scared of the future. So... I went into a lot of "wind-the-fuckers-up" detail about how I'd been hoarding food for the Apocalypse, and lo and behold, they put me on TV. Only thing was, I expected to be in the audience, and to get to ask a question later. But no. I was one of the fuckers sat at the front, who get five minutes each. And they'd actually written down all the shit I'd said on the phone Lowri fucking Turner was asking me questions about it.

Funniest thing was, one of my best friends (lilly's husband, as it happens) came along cos I was allowed to take a guest. You could see him on telly just pissing himself laughing. Then we both got thrown out of Television Centre for drinking too much of the free booze.

I have deja vu. Did I type this before?

09:25 / 14.10.03

Lol, Sauron.

16:19 / 14.10.03

I love that story, Sauron. I like the minimalism of it. And the moral.

Fantastic.

17:07 / 14.10.03

Y'know, it could be worse. There's a bit in the Face this month (yes, I bought it...) which details someone who was on MiniPops discovering a picture of themselves as a child - in a Japanese, er, relief magazine.

Unless, of course, that's one of you lot?

05:43 / 15.10.03

I was also on telly once, with my arm shoved up a cow's arse. The cow didn't seem to....no, wait. No I wasn't. No, actually that was Peter Davidson in All Creatures Great And Small.

*note to self: No more bad animal drama series evenings. Results in slippage of grip on reality.

11:51 / 15.10.03

If I tell you about my "appearances" it'll give the game away. Suffice to say you'd know me and I'd be lambasted for being a sad tosser.

Ahh, TV, the gift that keeps on taking...

12:46 / 15.10.03

Constantly.

Well, this summer, only once, in a discussion program on Finnish national TV about celebrity and media. That means I'm keeping a low profile.

Most widely circulated bit is probably the one where James Wolfensohn of the World Bank gets a cream pie in his face. I'm holding the pie. It made TV-news even outside Finland. Sweden for sure, not certain about other countries.

Also, I gave an interview for BBC from Gothenburg in July 2001, but I don't know whether it was aired.

You get used to the embarrasment over time.

13:55 / 15.10.03

BioDynamo, you rock!

13:57 / 15.10.03

indeed, amen to that, BioDyn!

14:05 / 15.10.03

I was in the crowd when our school was on Pick a Number - and was on North Tonight when I did a walk for Sunday School dressed a Victorian child.

I need to be on TV more - one day, one day.

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