"Hey look guys, it's Albert! How surreal is that?"
Old man Jesse (the Janitor) then sets his mop up against the wall, and begins a lengthy conversation with it, chides it for its dirty white hair, and so on.
Albert Anderson is a kid in a wheelchair who injured himself in a car accident last year. He had been driving while asleep somehow, unconsciously using the signals and radio knobs for miles down the lonely highway. When, quite suddenly, he woke up. At first he thought it might be Heaven. The car seemed to floating and sort of driving itself, and strange birds with mysterious eyes would periodically land on his hood and chat for a few minutes.
Then, quite suddenly (with a British accent this time), there appeared all around him a maze of buildings, walls, people of every warring nation and colour, and animals, demons, angels, you name it. Yikes! Albert peed his pants, swerved, and slammed on the brakes, but it was too late. It was a head on collision with a women's shelter.
Now, an indeterminate amount of time later, Albert emerges fresh from the showers and sees old man Jesse talking to his mop. He thinks to himself, man, that's just so last year, and wheels on. But then he notices the football team, and uh-oh, they look like they're in the mood for a little hazing...
"Let's get 'em!"
"Ya! It would be fun!"
"And it's the right thing to do."
"The fat little bastard deserves it!"
They gang up, and start poking poor little Albert, and slapping him in the face. Albert thinks to himself, hmm, this sucks, they're poking me, and slapping me in the face. Good thing I didn't wear the glasses mom gave me yesterday. |
