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Seeing The World Through The Eyes Of A Child

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Matthew Fluxington

12:53 / 19.09.03

Just yesterday, my two sons were playing with their toys in my den and I saw something truly inspiring. Theo was trying to steal Eddie's Tonka trunks, and they started to fight. Then Eddie started to cry, and suddenly they stopped fighting and Theo gave Eddie a big hug and a piece of his candy that he bought with his allowance money earlier in the day. Then they started to laugh and smile, as if they never had a fight at all. Aren't children amazing? When I adopted these kids, I was thinking about how much I could teach them, but I'm beginning to find out that there is so much that I can learn from them.

This thread is for all of the Barbelith members who either have children, or have to spend a lot of time around them. What have you learned from kids? How have they changed the way you look at life?

12:58 / 19.09.03

I thought Theo was a girl, Flux. Are you sure those late nights at the Purple Horse haven't affected you?

13:01 / 19.09.03

Or have I been confused by Qalyn's inability to determine biological sex again?

13:07 / 19.09.03

Flux: I never cease to be amazed at the general all round wonderfulness of children and I congratulate you for adopting such a happy pair. However, I must say your visits to the Purple House cause me some concern about your eligiblity as a father. What would the adoption services have to say, if they new about this. Flyboy's hair had virtually turned grey when he got back from New York. And while I would be the last to defend Anna de Logandiere, your comments that she should "take off her top" cause me some concern. How would you feel if someone said this to little Theo?

13:09 / 19.09.03

Why would anyone say that to Theo? She's way too young to have hooters yet.

Matthew Fluxington

13:14 / 19.09.03

Won't everyone just please get off my case? I'm a grown-up, and I go to a gentleman's club, and there's nothing wrong with that. You are all so repressed. I'm friends with a lot of the girls at the club, and they enjoy hanging out with my kids while I'm at the bar.

I thought this was Barbelith. I thought that we were supposed to be foward-thinking and cool. But no, you're all a bunch of puritans trying to wreck all of my fun, and telling me how to raise my two sons.

gotham island fae

13:20 / 19.09.03

My best friend, Teddy, has two children I end up spending a lot of time with, as I'm basically a family member. It's a nice way to enjoy the wonder and aura of children without the sticky wetness.

I was, just last night, struck my both the depth of their expression and the speed at which it manifests. I watched the seven year old girl, answer a phonecall from a friend with obviously less attentive parents. Little Boo was told that it was 'stupid' that Boo was getting ready for bed at 8:30. Evidentally Chrissa gets to stay up til midnight. Boo's defense was that she 'gets cranky' in the morning without proper rest. She was articulate and self-assured in expressing her position. Godz bless that girl.

I hope you keep as attentive an eye on your own little lady and gentleman as Teddy and Kay do with Tank and Boo.

Tryphena Absent

13:20 / 19.09.03

I swear I'm calling Social Services right now. Poor little Theo mustn't be brought up by a monster like you. She's probably going to end up having sex before marriage because of this. I fear it may be way too late to save Eddie Willis.

Matthew Fluxington

13:23 / 19.09.03

God damn it, Anna, will you leave me alone? Let's see how good you are at parenting, huh? I bet you'd suck at it.

And why does everyone keep saying that Theo is a girl? Theo is a boy!

You're all making me really, really mad. This was supposed to be a thread about how wonderful children are, and you're just making it some kind of horrible freakshow.

13:26 / 19.09.03

You say that now Flux, but how will you feel when you're 40? When little Theo's a desirable young women and possibily dating? What sort of example do you think your setting her? I mean, would you be happy if she ends up poledancing?

I'm not trying to be a puritan or ruin your fun, but you've got to think about the example your setting.

Matthew Fluxington

13:29 / 19.09.03

Screw off, Illmatic! I'm not an alcoholic, and Theo is a little boy, and I'm a good parent and you're just a stupid jerk from England who doesn't know anything about how life is like in America.

Argh! You are all so frustrating. It'll be funny when you all have kids and suddenly you're a bunch of stinking hypocrites and the whole world will know it.

Tryphena Absent

13:42 / 19.09.03

Look Flux, you're totally avoiding the subject and I think you ought to know that I'm picking up the phone right now. Because I'm across the ocean I will be ringing the services and not thumping you round the head with it. Frankly you're bringing poor little Theo up to be a pole dancing slut and possibly a prostitute. Before you know it she'll be drinking herself in to oblivion and letting drunk businessmen have the anal sex that their wives won't allow. Yeah, she'll be wearing that strap on and maiming those poor mens backsides. And she'll get off on it. I don't see a way that she could avoid it to be honest and it's all your fault.

13:47 / 19.09.03

Just like a European to sexualize a young child. Have you no shame? Just because Theo's Dutch, you think it's okay to talk about her that way, Anna. Well, it's not okay. She may be Dutch by birth, but she'll be raised as an American, not some loose, clog-wearing whore.

13:48 / 19.09.03

Or she'll be all, like, "Dad, I'm pregnant", (unless you are bringing her up to be advanced and modern, in which case she will be all, like, "Flux, I'm pregnant") and that'll be a shock since you'll have been thinking that she's a boy for the past decade or so.

Poor little Theo.

13:49 / 19.09.03

Guys, guys, you're overreacting. Usually I sit with the kids when Flux goes out whoring, and we have a lot of fun. Eddie's kind of a wimp, but he's got a real natural talent for ballistics and strategy and stuff, and Theo, who I'm pretty sure actually is a boy (I think it would be almost inappropriate of me to check for physical proof, y'know?) has the makings of a fine scrapper. I mean, they both pee sitting down, but that's because Flux doesn't want "a couple of splash-monkeys" which seems reasonable to me.

But Theo! That kid never gives up! We were playing POW Camp a couple of weeks ago and of course Eddie started really bawling as soon as I hung him from the ceiling by his thumbs, so I let him have the Cold Tank instead, but man! Theo stayed up there for two hours and kicked at me whenever I came close with the "electrodes" -- they're not REAL electrodes, of course, I'm a sadist or anything. They just have little needles in them to simulate electrical shock. And, after I let her down and rubbed the circulation back into her arms and offered to let them watch the Knife Show, she said, "No, uncle Qalyn, I wanna drive the van!" Eddie was passed out in the hallway at this point, so Theo and I took a few spins around the block. She's getting to be a pretty good driver, though she did ding a couple SUVs--who can blame her right?!?

Hey, in other news, I'm back in my place again. I had a long talk with the father of that girl down the hall, who is from Trinidad though he's lived here for more than thirty years. He told me that in Trinidad it's not unusual for 15 year-old girls to start relationships with older men, so he's not angry with me or anything. He's glad I'm not taking advantage of her because he doesn't really want her to date white guys, which I can totally understand (but then he asked me when I was going to start bringing white girls over--I thought that was a little inappropriate and I'll have to settle that with him later, I didn't want to ruin the conciliatory mood just then). So all that stuff with the surveillance and the booby traps and the harrassment calls to the police was just me overreacting again! LOL!

Yeah, kids are pretty cool.

Matthew Fluxington

13:49 / 19.09.03

Anna, I am shocked and appalled. Don't you ever talk about my sons in that kind of disgusting sexual way ever again, they're just little kids!

I'm going to contact your ISP and have your internet account revoked! I won't stand for this kind of filth.

13:52 / 19.09.03

I can't believe how judgemental some of you are being. just because the man has kids doesn't mean he doesn't still have needs.

aching, maddening needs.

Tryphena Absent

13:53 / 19.09.03

Excuse me but you're the one taking them to strip clubs so they end up using strap on's and screwing dirty old men in public. When the police pick them up for indecent exposure and joyriding it's not going to me who cries and waves them off.

14:07 / 19.09.03

Anna, have you ever used a strapon? I understand it's very empowering for some women.

14:43 / 19.09.03

Well, Anna's personality serves as the kind of equivalent. You'll realise that if you ever get to meet her. Flux isn't the only person giving Flyboy grey hair, you know what I''m saying?

14:46 / 19.09.03

Come now, really. This is unnecessary, mucky and quite frankly just plain wrong. I mean have you thought about what might happen if a nosy woman from social services does a search on the internet for 'men who take their children to strip clubs' and this thread comes up? I'll tell you what will happen, they'll go round and arrest him, and then his children will have a criminal as well as a pervert for a father and will therefore be completely scarred and ashamed for the rest of their life. Have you thought about that, have you? Hmmm? Hmmm?

14:56 / 19.09.03

Now, what would make me think this thread would actually have anything to do with children? Fool that I am.

Pole dancing is a bloody art form! DAMMIT!

Yeesh.

14:59 / 19.09.03

Well, Anna's personality serves as the kind of equivalent.

OH MY GOD!!

What's Cold Tank, anyway?

15:03 / 19.09.03

And Flux, please don't get me wrong. I have the kids best interests at heart, honestly - I'm coming from a loving place. I just think a strip club is no place for young children who're experiencing problems with their gender identity.

15:06 / 19.09.03

Persephone, the Cold Tank is when the boys and I take everything out of the refridgerator and I turn the cold way up and lock them in there. I put a little breathing tube in so they won't suffocate, but there's penalties if they get out of the Cold Tank early. I mean, every game has rules, y'know?

I want these kids to be ready for any eventuality, you know? I mean, the weather systems are going haywire and you never know what could happen.

15:10 / 19.09.03

Oh sorry, the Cold Tank. I thought it was like a town in upstate New York. Like Cold Tank, NY.

Makes sense now.

gotham island fae

15:11 / 19.09.03

Tell you what, Flux, when I come visit up your way at Halloween, I'll take little Theo Trick-or-Treating in my 'sexy witch' costume. I'll bet we can find him a wonderful little 'fairy princess' outfit with a suitably hefty wand that will mollify both sides of the gender coin that the young one is obviously flipping, at the moment. Anybody gives us any shit about being 'fucking pansies', he wacks em' somewhere sensitive with the club-ne-wand and I whip out the chain.

Who says boys who wear dresses can't fight?

Nietzsch E. Coyote

15:36 / 19.09.03

I see through Horus's eye

I love the crowned and conquering child.

Matthew Fluxington

17:20 / 19.09.03

Okay. Now that we've had our fill of filth, can we please get back to talking about the joy and wonder of children, and all of the amazing insightful things we can learn from them?

gotham island fae

17:41 / 19.09.03

The real question, Flux, is whether you've had your fill of filth. I see this obsession with 'gentlemen's entertainment' of yours as much more questionable a behavior than the perfectly natural questioning of being gender-labeled that Theo is obviously muddling through.

And, to address your request:

Tank, The Boy, has begun to speak. I mean full sentences! He and his wonderfully sarcastic sister, Boo are an inspiration to me. In one week, that boy went from "Fau, wanchta-twucks" to "Fae, watch da monstah twucks".

That kid and his heavy machinery videos...

Matthew Fluxington

19:00 / 19.09.03

There is no 'gender label questioning'! Theo is a boy. I don't understand why everyone has to make fun of him and call him a girl and treat him like a girl. It's some kind of sick joke. You're all trying to mess up my kids and make them crazy trannies or something sick like that.

Fae, where do you live? Maybe we can set up a play-date sometime.

gotham island fae

19:46 / 19.09.03

Whoa, whoa, whoa, there, hoss!

I have accepted that your little bundle of sucker-punching, torture-enduring, van-wreckin' joy has 'got all the boy-parts'. And I not once meant to mock the kid. I just was kinda hoping to address something that is obviously gonna be an issue for the lad. If he's already exhibiting behaviors and an appearance that cause others to be uncertain of his xx/xy calibration (granted, as much their issue as his), then I was only intending to assist him with any questions that are arising, as those around him make comments that might confuse him.

I realize that you may be a bit blinded by your closeness and familiarity. It seems quite obvious that something is going on that you may not notice or are even in denial about. I can't imagine that everybody who has had contact with Theo is purposefully, maliciously trying to scew his gender view (well, maybe Todd). It seems to me that this issue your family is working through is not as cut-and-dried as you wish.

And as for a play-date with your kids and my friends' children, I'm sure we work something out. Too bad they're not coming to New York with me in October. (We're in Kansas.) We could all hope on a train and visit. Tank's head would !explode! if he saw the Tonka Truck collection.

Murray Hamhandler

20:44 / 19.09.03

Flux, I must say that, as an elementary teacher-to-be, your posts on child-rearing have taught me more than any dumb old ed. psych. classes ever could. Maybe you should look into teaching about child rearing at a community college in your area. There are lots of parents that could learn a thing or two from you.

Matthew Fluxington

20:55 / 19.09.03

Are you being...sarcastic?

20:57 / 19.09.03

I have to say that last month I got talking to a lady on the Amtrak going south from NYC, and it turned out that she had actually met Flux's kids in one of the aforesaid establishments, and they were apparently a pair of little angels. In fact she couldn't stop going on about that cute thing Theo did with his Barbie. It got quite tiresome after a while and I was quite glad she got off before I did. So I'm not concerned that Flux is in any way raising dysfunctional kids here; she was full of praise for his parenting skills, mentioning how most of the men there had hardly any contact with their children and spent much of their time bitching about them.

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