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I had a very odd dream last night. I had primo tickets to a Tori Amos concert which was happening in the field behind my parents' house. I went round to my parents and was annoyed to see I couldn't get into the field the easy way (gate just behind my house) because the gig security people had locked it. So I decided to walk around the long way and enter by the back gate, which runs through another field. I passed a little yappy dog and avoided it, then a big black dog which I also avoided. Then I thought 'Ah yes, the attack ought to happen just about now, I think.' Sure enough, some huge Nazi centurion in Azrael-style armour comes out and starts going for me. I outsmart him by elbowing his face, then grabbing one of his blades and forcing it into a weak spot of his armour.
Then I wander up to the gate of the field. Further trouble awaits me here, as I find myself crushed between, on the one side, a bunch of irritating gay emo types and, on the other, a bunch of overly-straight conservative Americans. Eventually I get past the Republican Committee by telling their leader, in Spanish, that I want to suck his cock. This amuses the emo kids no end. The Republicans part in disgust and I get to the gate, only to find that the list of events has been written on a crumpled sheet of A4 in spidery, illegible handwriting. 'Is the Tori gig even on tonight?' I wonder, but I wander inside anyway. There seems to be a fair or market of some kind going on.
I get to the bottom of the field and enter some kind of mansion. Inside, an old black woman and an elderly swiss guy are having some kind of argument. The swiss guy tells the black woman 'You have chosen the wrong avatar', while the black woman replies 'No, have faith in him.' I leave them behind and wander through the house. Each room has a fireplace; every time I enter they keep springing into flame. The fireplaces, I muse, could have something to do with Chango. Then I'm outside in this massive conservatory and a voice starts telling me I need to reassume my powers and so forth. I run forward and start flying around the conservatory. The voice tells me that only an ethical flaw keeps me from realising my full potential. As I land on the floor of the conservatory like Neo in the Matrix sequels (I know, I know), it tells me that I must join together both the terrible and loving sides of my personality. As if in confirmation of this, a little girl enters the conservatory and, at first, is frightened by my evil-looking gaze, then gives me a hug.
The reason I put this on here is that, when I began coming round, my first hypnopompic thought was 'what a cheesy ending to a fantastic dream, if I tell anyone on the 'Lith about that they'll piss themselves.' And then I woke up. |
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