222.
I've been here awhile, but I used to not PM anyone. Then I started to use the PM function more often. One person I PMed too much, and there's a few I’ve PMed a little and that I wish would PM back more often. Then there are those who, like Baby Bear's Porridge, I PM with just right.
We are winding down, btw. Or better to say, I am winding down in some respects. So, not much more to do but continue on like we've been (“And that is you, I, & everybody in this place. Yeah: WE ARE THE PEOPLE”), but with a much less angry and frustrated communications officer (mad props to operatives out there everywhere!).
Except now there's some new friendships in the works, perhaps, and maybe even a small group of misfits (TR baby, TR [see suburbia—the original & ~ Linklater’s]) to watch out for one another when things get a little, um, W(h)aco (Tx.), around here.
You know what I learned?
I learned that even online the words of wisdom of my friend (~ a Lither) whom I mentioned elsewhere earlier today are true (he didn't need to tell me them again when we (he, my guest, and I) were hangin’ out this afternoon—we both knew that I know, OK? Of course, there’s always the barrier between knowing and practicing…):
"If you are going to trust someone, then you've got to trust them to be themselves."
He sometimes belittles his own intelligence because he can't do math or he doesn't read much outside of a select range of topics (mostly military history & other related military topics, medical books—the older the better—and some cross section of "creepy," "alternative press," type stuff (Answer Me, Lovecraft, and, shit, well you know), but I'll scold him for this, but in a loving manner ('cause that's how I am some times—perhaps you've noticed?) because he might not be so-called "book smart," but to be able to understand human relations with that attitude is just, plain, and smart.
So from this I've learned that if I'm gonna' trust Haus, say, then I've gotta' trust him to be himself, at least, the self that is the fictionsuit (because how do I possibly know what he might actually be like—even if he and I were friends, I might know him quite well, but would I know him fully? No, how could I? Which human among us knows hirself fully? Did even the greatest know this, or is what made them great that they did not give up on trying to answer the simply formulated question: "Who am I?" but like I do, I've meandered and digressed. I think that this is something I do that some people have a distaste for. That and I often write 1500+ word posts. Yes a verbose windbag I am, but—DAMN IT!—I'm going in debt up to my ears to develop and refine such skills: a perhaps unfortunate side-effect is that, since this is a text based world, it rolls on out when I write. I might work on that. I might not. Don’t wait around putting things off to see which is the case though. I mean, you’ve got brains to rocket and science to surgery.).
Something else I’ve learned is that I really enjoy putting stuff out there through here, this, dare I say it?, can I still say it?—Litherland—but my problem is that if I love it so much, then I have to set it free and not be so attached to it once it’s on its own. Probably cause me much less stress on occasion.
Another thing: it is best to suck it up if I am being attacked. No one listens to a whiner. However, (ego ipse custodus custodio) I—and others—will be on the watch for the abuse, poor or otherwise unfair treatment of other people, and if they like (I—or some one like me—will likely PM them to find out), I—&/v we—will raise concerns on their behalf.
T.R.W. is watching & playing.
I’ve learned some other stuff too, but this stuff I am likely best to keep to myself.
So I will.
So really, to those who spurred, prompted, & goaded, to those who stepped up to try to take me down, to those who PMed me (either with concern or furry) to tell me I was making an ass of myself or an idiot (which I thought was pretty clear, but you know, E for effort!), I thank-you all! Manifestations of the Chapel are everywhere and always, you need to “step into it right” to suddenly find yourself aware of where you are, or so it seems to me (‘OSISTM’, in case some were, well, wondering…). And this means you need to have others to relate to, even if it is painful and terrible and NOT MUCH FUN. So thank-you. I’ve substituted one illusion for—what I hope is—a better one.
Sincerely,
Dead dog mod gone.
And is Coming Soon.
P.S. N.E. Coyote says to say watch: 3, 4, 5 & 10, 11 (a random die roll set, btw). Good and interesting numbers if you ask me, but then again, I suspect that you won’t.
P.S.S. “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful,” s/he said in sarcastic, sincere, self-loathing, self-loving, narcissus & not, tones. Don’t hate yourself either, because you are beautiful. |
no one loves me. 