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I enjoyed it immensely. *But* primarily because it was so very silly.
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First up, the paper-thin characterisation, and the fact that a startling amount of dialogue was (a) very silly and (b) contained massive undigested chunks of exposition cake.
Then there is the fact that our story opens at the moment that the werewolves have discovered a way to kill vampires, and the vampires shortly thereafter discover a way to kill werewolves. We see that previous werewolf-killing methods are at best thoroughly inefficient. How many people have actually died in the previous six centuries? I'll tell you. One. And that was Lucian. And he didn't actualy die. Death-dealers my arse.
Also, the vampires suck. Especialy ones who decide to handle gigantic masses of angry werewolf with *some whips*. They may be strong, but not as strong as Lycans until they have got to be Level 20. In order to be saved by doe-eyed boy, Selene has to pass out from a shoulder wound, and has subsequently to get CPR (WHAT? Did they forget about the vampire bit?). In essence, their one gift is to land on things.
Further, the vampires are very stupid. If you are delivering your elder to another coven, don't do it on a train. Trains are very obvious (Lycans can phone up directory enquiries) and it is very hard, if attacked by Lycans, to hang a left and lose them in the side-streets. Second, it may be a good idea not to store your other two elders in the same room. I'm just saying.
Having said all of which, and trying to ignore the utterly unnecessary shoehorned romance plot (how much better if Selene had done all this due to moral conviction or distrust of Kraven, who IS CALLED KRAVEN FOR GOD'S SAKE IS HIS MIDDLE NAME TREACHEROUS, rather than hetero goo), and the aforementioned crowbarrng of the industrial soundtrack, it was fun. Budapest is very handsome, everybody looked good (although the Lycans moved wrong, and I wish just once that vampires would not be fucking goths - at least Kraven had the courage to be disco), the action was generally nicely done, and Selene had a magic laptop, which is always good.
So, less expository narrative, more coherent plotting (did Kraven or Lucian actually have a coherent plan?) and better dialogue would have been nice (all the "leave us" must have been a running joke), but I still had fun. Definitely a film to see with friends to giggle along with, though... |
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