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I Lost My Job

 
  

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inhaler
16:37 / 08.09.03
This past Friday I was fired from my job. My job has been the only thing keeping my life together over the past few years, and though it has been hard and I've had some problems with my co-workers, it has been essential to both my sanity and my livelihood. Without this job, I won't be able to pay off my student loans, my medical bills, and my rent. I'm afraid that I'll be living on the streets soon if I can't get a new job, and even still, it'll be hard because I'm still in debt.

To make matters worse, my boss informed me that I would not get my severance check, because all of that money is being used to recouperate the company to pay for my recent business trips. They are telling me that the company policy is that they will pay for travel and hospitality expenses for employees, but since I'm not an employee anymore, they are entitled to get that money back. This is really hard for me, because in the final four months of working at this company, they had me going on business trips almost every other week. I've been to Scottsdale, AZ; they had me in Bakersfield, CA; I spent three days at a convention in Omaha, NE. They made me go to Wilmington, DE four times in one week. And now I have to reimburse them, with no income on top of all of my other debt and living expenses.

So, if any of you can give me advice, or at least moral support, I'd very much appreciate it. I just don't know what to do, I've been crying all weekend. I'm teary-eyed in this library right now. I've never felt more powerless in my life.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
16:41 / 08.09.03
You have my sympathies, sorry I can't offer much by way of advice as I don't know what things are like over in the US, do you have a contract you can check to see if what your boss is saying he'll do is legal? Do you have family or good friends who might be able to put you up for a bit?
 
 
unheimlich manoeuvre
16:55 / 08.09.03

that is terrible. you have my utmost sympathy.
i don't know what you'd do in USA but here i'd go to the citizens advice bureau and check if your actually eligible to severance pay. you may have a case on the grounds of unfair dismissal. if you were employed by the company when undertaking those trips, on their behalf, surely they cannot bill you for it?
i suppose it depends what you were fired for...

...

anyway. good luck.
 
 
inhaler
17:04 / 08.09.03
I don't know why I was fired, really. Apparently it had something to do with 'budget cuts.' I've been with this company for four years now, I've been putting my all into this, and I can't believe I'm being let go so unceremoniously. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that I did most of the work at this office. I worked hard every day long past my hours and worked most weekends with no overtime pay just to keep this office on track. Meanwhile, everyone else just goofs off all day and none of them are fired. I just don't get it. But it always seemed like everyone hated me, including my superiors, so it's not that shocking, I suppose.

I am no longer on good speaking terms with my family. Both of my parents are dead, and my siblings usually just abuse and take advantage of me. I can't count on them. I tried calling my sister, and after I told her about what happened, she berated me for 20 minutes, telling me that it's all my fault that I got into this situation and that I need to take responsibility for myself. I think she might be right, but I just don't know what to do with myself. I've started looking for new jobs, but this job market is so rough right now. I'm terrified.

Because I've spent almost all of my free time working, I haven't made any friends since I got out of college. I don't really know anybody that I feel comfortable asking anything of.

I really can't afford to talk to lawyers, so I'd need to meet some kind of pro-bono lawyer. Does anyone know who I should contact in the northern New Jersey area?
 
 
that
17:08 / 08.09.03
That's awful. I'm so sorry, inhaler. I haven't any advice to offer, but, like the others have said, you really do have my utmost sympathies. ((hugs))
 
 
MJ-12
17:49 / 08.09.03
The NJ Dept. of Labor is probably a good place to start. I think there may be some contact info under "Legal" which could point you in the right direction.

http://www.state.nj.us/labor/index.html
 
 
inhaler
18:03 / 08.09.03
Thank you. I'm very overwhelmed by all of this.

I didn't read all of that site, but I've got a problem if I'm going to have to drive to get there. It's bad enough I had to walk for two hours back and forth from work for the past seven weeks since my car was totalled. What happened with the car was that I had it parked in the office lot, and there was some construction going on, and a crane dropped on top it, crushing the top of my car. It's totally ruined, and I have no money to buy a replacement, and I had no insurance. Then, things got worse when two days after that, my bike was stolen from the same parking lot.

Hopefully, I can take some kind of cheap mass transit to this place, because I'm not sure if I can walk it. After I was fired on Friday, I was talking to a few of my co-workers, and this one guy Phil (who is a jerk and has always been mean to me) knocked me down a flight of stairs, and my legs and back have been hurting ever since. Phil swears that he didn't mean to knock me off balance, but I don't believe him. I think he planned it out, honestly. He's the one who wanted to talk near the stairwell - he said he wanted our conversation to be private, but I think he just wanted to hurt me. Of course, I can't prove any of this, and everyone loves him so they'll just believe him and not the crazy guy who got fired.
 
 
pomegranate
18:50 / 08.09.03
that bit about how they can't give you yr severance pay doesn't sound legal. also, see if you can go on unemployment. good luck to you.
 
 
grant
20:55 / 08.09.03
Sallie Mae will defer payments. Just ask 'em.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:01 / 08.09.03
That sucks, man. I'm with mantis on this one- that can't be legal.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
21:44 / 08.09.03
Listen, inhaler, huggles and everything, but it's totally illegal for them to bill you for trips they sent you on. I'm not even going to talk about the physical environment, for which you are owed compensation A) because they destroyed your car B) because they allowed your bike to be stolen and C) because, if I remember correctly, there is a history of physical abuse by your co-workers. Info on how to deal with all that stuff should all be available to you if you look for it.

I think the real problem here, and it is one that will recur until you face it, is your refusal to stand up for yourself. It sounds pathological to me and I think you should seek professional help.
 
 
bitchiekittie
22:36 / 08.09.03
once you do the research on what's illegal and how much fucking trouble they're in for doing it, then you put the screws to them, but GOOD
 
 
netbanshee
23:04 / 08.09.03
Talking with people from the Dept of Labor is definitely a way to go. Explain to them about the experiences of undermining and abuse as well as the damage to property (though I'm not sure in an uninsured car is a good case), etc. I also know that the limitations on incidents (I believe physical) in PA next door is at 120 days. It's important that you try to file things quickly as waiting out too long may exclude you from taking action. As an example, I urged my ex to move on a report and document the semi-serious accident she was part of at her work last night. Getting things down on paper will help you keep them accurate and stop them from becoming stale. Also work incidents are required by law to be notified... if there's an unwillingness to do so and in time, the place could be in some trouble.

Also, if your job was "cut" as opposed to being "fired", you should be eligible for UE compensation. Even if this is not the case, you may still make the case with your local office and persue it from there.

It seems there should be something coming to you for all of this. The best...
 
 
Unencumbered
06:42 / 09.09.03
Damn, that's rough. I'll echo what others have said here - get some good legal advice and take them to the fucking cleaners, if not for yourself then for the next poor sod they try this on.

Oh, and huggles are on their way.
 
 
Quantum
08:36 / 09.09.03
1. Challenge your ex-boss. They can't bill you for trips they made you take, and they owe you severance pay
2. Prosecute the guy who kicked you downstairs, sue his ass for big bucks (that's what they do in the US, right?)
3. Apply for as many new jobs as you can, when you get one don't make it your life.
4. Stop procrastinating and give yourself a shake. This will pass.

If you stand up for yourself your life will improve drastically.
 
 
illmatic
10:11 / 09.09.03
I hate to sound hugely unsympathic but didn't someone suggest in a previous thread of this sort, about being bulied at work IIRC, that Inhaler was actually trolling. It sounded as if hir problems were exaggerated beyond belief basically - a weird way of getting attention, wasn't he/she challenged about it?

I have the same thoughts reading the above, particularly the comments about the family. Even the suggestion of wheezing asmatic in the login name makes me suspicous. Another mask for Knodger maybe?

Apologies, Inhaler, if your problems are genuine but I only see you crop up here once every six months with a "woe is me" story so I think my caution is justified.
 
 
Ariadne
10:18 / 09.09.03
I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling suspicious here. You do, indeed, seem to have a lot of problems, inhaler.
 
 
illmatic
10:28 / 09.09.03
Yeah, I'm pretty certain it's trolltime: "a-a-and then my new internet friends turned against me ... and this on the morning when I fell down the stairs and broke both my legs!!!"
 
 
Smoothly
10:40 / 09.09.03
I can't believe you're being so mean about someone whose car was crushed by a falling crane. Anyone would think your life wasn't a cartoon.
 
 
William Sack
10:48 / 09.09.03
I was thinking more in terms of a Todd Solondz film rather than a cartoon Smoothly. Which gives me an idea - Inhaler, why don't you tell your ex-employers that Todd Solondz is making a film about your life, and that if they do not pay you your severance in full, then you will ensure that the representation of the main character's employers in the film is ludicrously unsympathetic and quite clearly them to all but an idiot.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
10:52 / 09.09.03
With regards to trolling I've posted this in the policy thread and I'm putting it here as well...

This is getting horrible. We are creating a witch hunt here and eventually the wrong person is going to be accused because of our paranoia. We've got to stop doing this right now, do we really want this place to slowly be destroyed by our attitude towards one person? If we think someone's a troll and particularly the Knowledge than wouldn't it be better to PM a moderator of the forum in which the post exists or an Administrator who can actually do something about it rather than accuse people over and over again? The moment when we get the wrong person is going to be nasty as fuck.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
10:56 / 09.09.03
Would this even be "trolling"? Because it seems pretty harmless if it is fake, and pretty fucking cruel of you all if it's not.

You know, most of you people have never been to New Jersey. Trust me, Inhaler's problems are very plausible.
 
 
illmatic
11:14 / 09.09.03
Well maybe it's not trolling as such, because Inhaler isn't swearing and shouting but I do think he's taking advantage of peoples good will, presumably for the satisfaction of getting one over on people.

It's possible he's telling the truth but this seems very unlikely, bearing in mind the previous thread, which had a similar pattern of escalating disasters and injustices befalling our innocent protagonist. Neither of these threads read truthfully to me, and the lack of any other contributions to the board or any other clues about Inhaler's tastes/personality etc. increase this suspicion. (I can see it know "I just haven't had time to contribute... I've been so busy and stressed at work...")

I've offered my apologies above if I am wrong, but hey, y'know this is one of the drawbacks on relying on a virtual life for emotional support.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
11:27 / 09.09.03
I did start to wonder the same at the "my parents are dead and my family hate me and I don't have any friends stage" but then I'ev known people for who all that is true so I was giving the benefit of the doubt. I think that, if genuine, Inhaler's now been given some good advice for how to proceed, so let's leave it at that.
 
 
inhaler
13:46 / 09.09.03
Oh god. I'm very sorry if some of you don't believe me, but my life really is very hard and I guess it probably does seem unbelievable if it's not happening to you. Sometimes I don't want to believe this myself. But then I wake up and see the bruises, and I realize that it's not a sick joke.

Now I feel horrible and guilty. I'm sorry. I should have never said anything, I don't know why I was being so self-absorbed. I know I hardly ever post here, I was stupid to think that maybe you were all like friends. But I appreciate the advice and will do my best to get myself out of this mess and try to press charges against my former employers and colleagues. I'm very scared, but I know I have to do it. I can't be a victim anymore. I think I usually only make things worse by telling myself that I can't fight back, but I think I have no choice. I'm like a rat in the corner, or however that old saying goes.
 
 
William Sack
13:56 / 09.09.03
Can I apologise for my flippant suggestion earlier Inhaler. Also, I would echo the advice earlier that you attempt to tackle your employer sooner rather than later. In England you would have to start proceedings against your employer within 3 months, and while I have no idea what the position is where you are, I imagine that there is some kind of limitation on actions. As for the merits of your case, I can't really comment, other than to say that if you were in England then your ex-employers deductions are clearly unlawful as you describe them. You really do need to seek proper advice, and others are better placed than I am to tell you where you might get it. From a more personal perspective, you may feel better about things if you feel you are taking action, though it is understandable if that is the last thing you feel like doing at the moment. Best of luck.
 
 
illmatic
14:17 / 09.09.03
Personally, I still find it all unbelivable. The whole tone doesn't appear genuine to me, and it also replicates what whoever it is was doing when challenged previously, especially the "oh, I've been so self-centred - now I feel evil" bollocks. Go and jump off a bridge then, or phone Samaritans. Whatever.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
15:03 / 09.09.03
I'm not sure it matters that the thread's believable or not. I think it's rather more important that we approach this in a calm way and don't throw challenges and doubts around.

On the other hand I'd like to say Inhaler, regardless of whether you're genuine or not, because I don't know and frankly it doesn't bother me, pull yourself together.
 
 
Quantum
15:11 / 09.09.03
You do seem to have the most appalling luck.
I was stupid to think that maybe you were all like friends
Nuh-uh, maybe we are all like friends, but other people's dishonesty has caused us as a community to be careful when gushing with affection. What if you were some pillock pretending to be having a terrible time just to laugh at the gullible barbelites? You can see how that would engender some reservations about flowing with sympathy.

If you are being honest, my apologies for doubting you, you have my sympathy- you have been mistreated and should be angry, not sad.

If you're trolling, you have my sympathy- you are clearly an extremely dysfunctional person, I hope you grow beyond it.
 
 
illmatic
15:23 / 09.09.03
I AM CALM!!!!

Sorry.

I don't think there's any problem with expressing doubts or issuing challenges as long as it's based on something (which in this case it is - Inhaler's "M.O." amongst other things) rather than an opportunity to exchange groundless insults. I think this thread is interesting as it exposes some of the limits of Barbelith as a virtual community, in that there's no real way to know if someone is genuine or not, at least at first.

This is kind of why I don't feel bad about dissing Inhaler - if someone is in genuine distress (which I don't believe at all in his case) there's plenty of resources open to them IN THE REAL WORLD. Going for sympathy off a bunch of strangers on the internet seems an odd thing to do for me. My comments about Samaritians were made in this light. I used to work for a phone counselling charity actually, and interestingly enough we had a fair degree of fake and/or timewasting callers.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
19:24 / 09.09.03
Yeah but I'll bet they needed to vent their angst/anger by being fakes so probably they weren't wasting your time at all... unless you were working for Sexwise.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
21:32 / 09.09.03
The "there are plenty of resources in the real world" argument is kind of weak. People come to Barbelith for help and support all the time. That's part of what it is here for. Hopefully, some then get the encouragement to use the conventional channels. Inhaler, for example, has been told that hir employers are behaving illegally, and given suggestions as to how to pursue this further.

Whether inhaler is a joke suit is somewhat irrelevant. Ze may be trolling for attention, which would suggest some personal problems. If so or if not, the decision as to whether to provide attention is the individual's. Personally, I'm not likely to be of much use to inhaler if hir problems are real, not being an American employment lawyer, and I'm not terribly interested if hir problems are a fiction to get attention. Think of it like Flux's son Eddie Willis or Flyboy and Todd's pseudofeud. If it doesn't convince, ignore it.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
01:03 / 10.09.03
Goddammit, Haus, what makes you despise me so much?

That was Flyboy and Qalyn, you shitter.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
21:36 / 10.09.03
I don't hate you, Qolin. Mostly, I don't even notice you. Like just then.

So, you got any movies planned, Bruce?
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
22:54 / 10.09.03
I didn't say hate, I said despise. You of all people ought to know the difference, sir.
 
  

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