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Underground > Art, Fashion & Design >

"Look in your own wardrobe and notice what you do not own. " - practical exercise

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08:33 / 12.09.03

In a fit of madness last night I went out and bought some brightly coloured underwear (from Topshop, Hall of Clothing Joycore). What was I thinking of?

May have to go back and get some more.

10:41 / 12.09.03

Hmmm, little black cocktail dress, you say...

Saw just the very thing for you (entirely in black rubber) in Rob of Amsterdam (perv shop) off Oxford Street just the other day. Was very tempted myself but the sizes only went up to brachiosaur and rubber's only gonna stretch sooo much.

I don't have a cape in my wardrobe. Remiss of me, I know, but the next time I decide to be Adam Adamant for the evening I shall have to use the big black towel and look very shabby.

Can't think of much else that's missing that I would actually be wise to wear. Half the stuff that's in there looks shit on me as it is.

Tryphena Absent

12:20 / 12.09.03

T'other day I saw someone wearin' a pink luminous brassiere and I thought to myself, goash, I mun' buy me one of them there brassieres. So I be wonderin' if yow saw one in Toapshoap?

12:46 / 12.09.03

I expect so, as it is the House of Joycore, but the Oxford branch is a slightly inferior version and I didn't notice anything decent like that... but I don't like their nasty lacy undies as they are made of cheap scritchy net, so I wasn't really looking. London branch might well be better.

I'm so going shopping tomorrow. Or tonight, in fact. I'm going to restyle myself as a joycore librarian. Or perhaps just a librarian.

15:05 / 12.09.03

Very bright/colourful accessories like wristbands (I know, so sue me), belts, bra's and knickers always work very well... the idea is not to go for all over flourescence. That makes you look like a traffic cone.

I've realised I don't have enough hats.
I defintely need a trilby.
Definitely.

15:48 / 12.09.03

Yes, indeed. Hats are all good, and entirely underrated. They can hide acres of bad fringe as well. This alone seems like a fair enough reason to like them.

The Return Of Rothkoid

21:33 / 12.09.03

Actually, going out swing dancing last night has reminded me of what I am missing: a good pair of two-tone wingtips. Brogues. They're THE SHIT. Actually, I think I could cultivate a whole Nick Cave Goes Swing-Dancing look, I think; there's something about an eminently danceable pair of trousers that's just great. Add the rolled sleeves, boxy cut shirt... it's a good thing.

Hmm. Tailoring. Coming up. And I may have to buy those two-tone saddles that're at the dance class...

Cocktail dresses? Overrated on me, anyway. Maybe the red panels weren't doing it for me. Jesus, I was lithe then, too...

Tryphena Absent

18:03 / 14.09.03

Ha. I don't believe it for a second, you just felt shame but you shouldn't have. Men- put those dresses on!

19:56 / 14.09.03

I really want a cream linen suit for summer.

Linen suits rock. Get the appropriate hat, and you have the whole "Man From Del Monte" thing right there. Imagine a warm summer day, promenading and sampling the finest oranges.

Don't spill red wine on them, though.

No star here laces

20:04 / 14.09.03

I rectified a gap today, in a last-minute about-to-leave-the-country thing. I've never owned a pair of M&S y-fronts and decided it was time. I have bought four pairs of white Ys, two of which have mesh bits. they will remind me of my britishness, I hope. Actually, I think they're kinda sexy too...

22:13 / 14.09.03

My gaps:
A suit: I would never have an excuseto justify one, but i'd like one.
A push-up bra: I think scaffolding would be more apt.
Patterned/picture Dr Martens: Iv seen ones with japanesey animated people, and theyr fabulous, apart from the toe bits were either brown or white- i need PINK!

Right now, im wearing a stylish combo of blue GB trackie bottoms, a bright red USA gymnastics tshirt, and a jade and black leotard around my bum, with the top half of it hanging over my trousers. I hope that says feck all about me or im scared.

My current favourites are: Pink or black mini-skirt, pink & black striped tights with or without fishnets on top, and a plain black or kinda punky-printed top, and purple Dr Martens. It says, im kinda girlie, but dont mess, or i'll kick you ass. I have yet to master the sitting down with legs together in a skirt, though. My friend threw an ice-cube up my skirt in starbucks the other day, and i didnt realise till i felt something cold and wet...

Tryphena Absent

18:07 / 16.09.03

If I had DM's I'm sure they'd somehow give me an excuse to wear my tulle skirt every so often.

And Bop- don't care what size they are. Every girl should have a push up bra.

21:23 / 16.09.03

Hmmm,...all i can find to fit is potato-sacks. I had a wonderbra pure a while ago, but my boobies just fell out the top after a few hours, or handstands, so i gave it the the shop of charity. I used to always laugh at my friend who complained that you couldnt get wonderbras in her size- i thought she meant for the padding, and laughed in her face. But alas, i know her problems. Christ, i think i'll just chop 'em off.

The only thing about DMs and a skirt is that you get blistered to buggery if you dont wear thick tights or socks with them. And unless they're big long stripey socks or similar, or can carry off almost anything, you'll look like a retard. Ooooh, but being really short is cool- i duno how tall you are, but im 5'2", so can still fit into kids age 13-14 patterned tights. Fabulous.

Tryphena Absent

21:41 / 16.09.03

I do have stripey tights though and olive green tights and woolly blacks so I'm all set really.

The thing about Wonderbra's is they only go up to a D or DD cup. As mad as it sounds I should try Marks & Spencer- they're good with that kind of thing and their padded bra's retain their shape for longer anyway.

19:20 / 17.09.03

Mmmm. The minute my MTF transsexual patients start growing breasts, I suggest they 'phone Marks & Spencer and make an appointment with the local Mrs Slocumbe-a-like. They invariably attend the next appointment replete with a) cleavage, and b) the glow of acceptance by The Establishment.

Goodness Gracious Meme

22:33 / 17.09.03

you really are the WonderDoc, aren't you.

I can attest to the joy of M&S, having been prodded into finally, at my advanced age, getting measured for a bra.

I imagine I was much the same kind of client as yr referrals. Bemused, clueless...

But yeah, MrsS-alike sweetly refrained from rolling her eyes at my bemusement and instead found me something that gave me a perfect 'hello boys' profile.

Much fun...

11:22 / 18.09.03

I tell you what's missing from my wardrobe - something appropriate to wear to a celebratory lunch for my cousin's wedding (not the actual wedding itself, wasn't important enough to be invited to that). Dress code: 'happy! (smart casual)'

ERK

Tryphena Absent

12:51 / 18.09.03

Time to go out and buy something pink Kit Club... or that Alexander McQueen jacket (wishful thinking!).

13:01 / 18.09.03

I thought some neon blue fishnets should do nicely... it is in Westminster Abbey after all...

19:27 / 18.09.03

smart casual

ARGH!
smart=hurt, as in "that really smarts.
casual=a temporarily assigned soldier, better known in the construction "casualty," meaning one who is wounded or killed in conflict.

----

My closet is missing a sharkskin jacket. Like in West Side Story. And a tailcoat & vest.

I also occasionally hanker for a kilt, but they make no sense here (humid tropics).

Boots, maybe. My last pair (hand-me-down swamp combats) fell apart and have never been replaced.

19:55 / 18.09.03

Am wearing a horrible pair of leisure trousers with elasticated waist, tapered ankles and patches of green paint on the bum. They are a very bright teal. Matched with a very baggy muscle t-shirt -- yellow, not a colour that suits me -- which is several sizes too big.

Am wearing these because I have just had to clean up a bathroom with a flooded toilet and I'm waiting to get all my clothes out of the drier so that I can have a shower.

20:05 / 18.09.03

And right now my closet is missing many many things, because I'm in a temporary home, but I still have a number of things in it.

I have two pairs of jeans, two pairs of black trousers, one pair of beige linen trousers, one pair hot pink lounge trousers, one pair Superman pajamas.

Three skirts (one black, one with a print of Guido Crepax's Valentina comics, one white with big hot pink flowers and green leaves).

I have two monkey t-shirts, a couple of tank tops with patterns, a couple without, one plain black t-shirt, one stripey black and white, one stripey pink and blue, and one with Evil Elvis on it.

Five shirts: green striped long sleeved; flower-patterned three-quarter sleeve; abstract patterned three-quarter sleeve; red gingham short sleeve; military style short sleeved.

I have far too many pairs of shoes with me. One pair navy Pumas, one pair brown Adidas (both old school style), one pair low rise All Stars (all black), one pair mary-janes/trainer combo, one pair walking boots, one pair flip-flops. The flip-flops have had the most wear in the last five weeks.

Despite all this, ''I haven´t a thing to wear''.

22:10 / 18.09.03

I got a little confused with Anna d.L. and plain Anna.

I just had a minor panic attack- i do not own a top or bowler hat. If i ever get round to getting a suit, i'll need one. Today i stole my friends men's suit jacket, and had black trousers and a pinstripe shirt with white collar and cuffs. All i needed was a hat and a walking stick to twirl.
I wonder if there's anywhere that requires a bowler/top hat as work-uniform....

17:35 / 19.09.03

i'm wearing a red and white striped 3/4 length sleeve shirt, w/a couple-inches-above-the-knee black a-line skirt. i'm also wearing black fake penny loafers w/a slight heel, and black knee socks.

normally i wouldn't wear knee socks to work, but friday is casual day, (altho' my office is business casual usually, which is good cos if i had to wear pantyhose, i'd quit) and if sneakers and jeans are allowed, i don't see why knee socks shouldn't be. usually i do casual fridays to the max that they are allowed, but tonight i'm seeing interpol and i'm pretty much going straight from work, maybe grab something to eat in between. i didn't want to wear jeans and sneaks to the show.

as for what my closet's lacking right now, besides organization, i would say: clothes from H&M!!! an H&M just opened in chicago last week and it's all so exciting; i had been sending them e-mails begging them to open a store in chicago for 2 or 3 years. i went on opening day but just browsed basically as it was a bit of a madhouse.

10:44 / 22.09.03

Can someone please define pantyhose, as I have never really been completely convinced that I know what they are? Are they tights? Are they hold-ups? Are they knitted or are they nylon? I am curious for an exact definition.

Praying mantis, do you think H&M might have actively considered opening the shop in Chicago on the basis of your emails? How wondrous it would be to have actually affected a large company, simply through persistence.

Gingerbop, I too shared the Anna/Anna de L confusion. And any porter/doorman type job at a posh hotel definitely requires top hat wearage.

11:15 / 22.09.03

I'm wearing work stuff which is dulldulldull.

However. Went to the new Selfridges in Birmingham last week and had to be literally dragged away from the Paul Smith concession. Oh, I could have spent four grand easy. In the end, I spent £39 on one T-shirt. But I felt cheated.

But my big must-have for this season is a brown leather flying helmet. Oh yes. It's got to be a good look, but I fear I might not be able to pull it off.

11:28 / 22.09.03

But my big must-have for this season is a brown leather flying helmet. Oh yes. It's got to be a good look, but I fear I might not be able to pull it off.

Try lubricating both head and helmet beforehand. Margarine is good, but can get smelly in the heat.

14:20 / 22.09.03

That was close to the helmet-pulling-it-off gag I was expecting, but not quite.

From Selfridges I also bought Zoot a THIRTY FIVE QUID Diesel top. And he's only three months old. Truly, my money-sense ratio is highly unbalanced at the mo.

15:01 / 22.09.03

I know Mazarine is good, but please dont call her smelly, or line your hat with her. She wouldnt appreciate it.

Sax, i should probably know this, but is your kids real name Zoot? If it is, i take my imaginary top-hat off to you.

And Olula, i dont think leisure attendants in posh hotels get to wear top hats with their shorts and tshirts. Not that they want to employ me anyway. *sigh*

And after being a nanny for my niece today, I found i dont have enough chocolate/ mud coloured stuff.

00:56 / 23.09.03

I have a leather flying helmet back in London, unless I threw it out. It's lined with sheepsskin with the wool which has a tendency to get oily and, yes, smelly, so I don't wear it anymore.

I realised on looking through the wardrobe the other day that I neglected to mention my two woollen sweaters -- one grey, v-necked; the other orange, with buttons along the neck to wear up (polo-necked) or down (angular across the top of my chest). Plus my red woollen zipper cardigan that caused me so much trouble in Logan airport, my black hoodie, and my two jackets. One is black, funnel-necked with a zipper, and the other is a dark green cashmere mix suit jacket from Jigsaw. I forgot about them because it's been too warm to wear them until this week. I mainly packed the suit one for journeys by plane in the hopes I may get upgraded, but I didn't pack it for any of the internal flights I've taken so far, so there wasn't much point.

What I need now is a proper winter coat, which is waterproof, stylish and has a hood.

09:00 / 23.09.03

Mmmm, I love big winter coats. I'm about to star my fourth winter with a Burberry duffel coat in dark blue. Not trendy any more, but damned warm and comfortable.

I also have a faux-sheepskin jacket thing which I got at the Corn Exchange in Leeds last Christmas and which is super. Would go well with my flying helmet when I get it, and my brown corduroy shoulder bag I bought from (whisper it) Gap last week.

09:05 / 23.09.03

Oh, and gingerbop: Zoot is my kid's fictionsuit, as suggested by the clever and lovely Persephone as it has Sax-y connotations.

10:18 / 23.09.03

Coats good. I have a knee-length navy blue wool overcoat, which is wonderful, and this big brown duffel-coat like thing from River Island, which makes me very happy indeed. It's nearly cold enough to start wearing it.

The hood does hide my woolly hats, though. Which makes me a bit less ghetto. Hood+hat is the way forward, I feel.

15:59 / 23.09.03

olula, i doubt me writing them had much effect, to be honest. but you never know! when they opened some stores in nyc, i got very excited thinking that chicago would come soon after. i was wrong; they didn't first hit all the big cities. they first hit the east coast, including even smaller cities. now i guess they're spreading westward, but we still got ours before l.a.! hah!

Goodness Gracious Meme

19:16 / 23.09.03

PM. what glories await...Truly, H&M are magical.

My current lbd (anna l: very dries van noten/ann demeulemeester) was £5 in their sale. £5 for gorgeous eveningwear!

Hennes are especially beloved of my male friends as they're the only decent menswear on the high street.

In the UK high street menswear=slacks/polo shirts/smart casual/ties with disney chars. urgh.

is it any better in the US?

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