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It is a journalistic fact that the best headlines can always be sung to the tune of The Camptown Races. No, really. Ask Sax and Grant.
Thus:
Man in wheelchair hit by train, doo-da, doo-da
or
Drug-fuelled rampage ends in death, oh de doo da dey
So, this thread is a search for the best possible hysterical red-top tabloid headline, suggesting that we are surrounded by dark forces of poverty and moral degeneracy, many of which may be French. To the tune of this popular American folk song. While not actively hateful, it must suggest, as is the wont of our beloved red-tops, that those involved should be sent back to their own country, sent to do their National service, put up against a wall and shot or given a bloody knighthood, depending on circumstances.
My humble offering, to start us off,
Tony Martin Sainsburys clash, doo dah, doo dah,
Lottery jackpot goes to gays, oh de doo dah dey,
Goes to gays all night,
Goes to gays all day,
Beggars eating National Grid,
Asylum "just five pounds away" |
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