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I think this joke is funny. Am I some sort of loser?

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Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

22:54 / 18.02.02

This joke right here:

On some un-named american university, a chemistry proffesor is trying to convince the Dean to alot more money for lab equipment. "Goddam it," the Dean yells, "Why can't you be more like the math department? All they need are pencils, paper and a wastebasket! Or like the philosophy department! They don't even need a wastebasket."

Har!

23:06 / 18.02.02

A bunch of guys are looking at shirts in a shop window when one of them says, "That's the one I'd get." Suddenly a cyclops walks around the corner and beats the shit out of him.

Har!!

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

23:17 / 18.02.02

A man stands at a pond. He says "poo". Then a passing fish says "I don't fancy yours, mate!". The man falls over. On a poo.

Then a cyclops comes and eats the fish.

Har!?

(Apologies)

odd jest on horn

23:32 / 18.02.02

a priest, a rabbi and a televangelist walk into a bar.

the bartender says:
"what is this? a joke?"

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

23:34 / 18.02.02

A small paraplegic dog watches man slip over on fish.

"Woof!"

Har!

02:30 / 19.02.02

how do the crazy people get thru the forest?
they take the Psycho-path!

It's silly, but I love it.

what do you get then you have a midget, psychic, who robbed a bank and got away?

a small, medium at large!

HAR to you!

15:39 / 19.02.02

A guy goes to the Doctor. "Doctor my cocks turned orange!", I've never heard of that before, says the Doctor, I'll have to take a look. So the guy drops his pants. And sure enough his cocks orange. I'll have to ask you a few questions...where do you work? Actualy I'm unimployed at the moment, I just sit at home all day watching porn and eating wotsits.

20:09 / 11.06.02

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Hella!!

20:37 / 11.06.02

A one-armed man goes into a second-hand shop.

Har!

(Is vat ve Germans call a Sparwitz...)

22:25 / 11.06.02

why is 6 afraid of 7?

because 7 8 9

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

22:56 / 11.06.02

I've just now realized that no one has answered my question.

00:41 / 12.06.02

You are a loser, but not because of that joke. It's the goatee, man.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

09:35 / 12.06.02

What goes "clip clop, clip clop clip clop... BANG... clip clop clip clop etc..."
An Amish drive-by.

18:14 / 12.06.02

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One asks the other "does this taste funny to you?"

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

18:32 / 12.06.02

Two cannibals are at the dinner table having a snack and telling each other about their day.

Cannibal 1: "I tell you this, friend; I hate my cousin."

Cannibal 2: "Well, then try the noodles."

18:44 / 12.06.02

How many relativists does it take to change a lightbulb?

It's relative.

Har?

03:51 / 13.06.02

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his uncle in the forest?

13:30 / 13.06.02

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Har!

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

13:37 / 13.06.02

a grasshopper walks into a bar, the barkeep says "we got a drink named after you!"
grasshopper says "Irving?"

HAR

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

13:39 / 13.06.02

The Story of ronald reagan:

1 morn Ronald awoke to find his legs had been gnawed off by beavers.

"well" said he, "good thing my name is donald, i would hate for this story to be about me"

13:43 / 13.06.02

Ha ha ha ha ha! That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard!

Thanks. I needed that.

14:16 / 13.06.02

Old man goes to the doctor. Doctor says, "I have some bad news for you. You have cancer and Alzheimer's."

Old man says, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."

17:03 / 13.06.02

How many arrogant teen ubermensch's does it take to change a lightbulb?

I am the lightbulb. We're all lightbulbs. Most people don't understand this. They go on changing one lightbulb after another, neglecting the enlightment that comes with being one of the higher race. We choosen ones, we long ago surpassed the "changing lightbulb" mentality and became one with that which we seeked to change. If only they knew. Ha! Like that would happen. I've gotta say, I'm real fucking sick of these feeble minded lightbulb changers who don't realize that they themselves are lightbulbs. Fuckin drones, man.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

01:56 / 14.06.02

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: potato.

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. The piano player can do that with his left hand too.

12:47 / 14.06.02

Q. How many police officers does it take to break a lightbulb?

A. None, it fell.

13:02 / 14.06.02

Q: What's pink and hard?
A: A pig with a flick knife.

Q: How many jewish grandmothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That's alright, we'll just sit here in the dark, waiting for our good for nothing sons to come and visit us, don't mind us...

13:30 / 14.06.02

Q:How many particles does it take to change a light bulb?
A

epends on how "excited" they are about the job.

Q:How many zombies does it take to change a light bulb?
A:Only one, but I am sure it does it differently than we do.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

18:46 / 15.06.02

Heh heh. I like that last one.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

00:52 / 16.06.02

Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just the two, but fuck knows how they got in there.

14:17 / 16.06.02

Here's one for anyone who knows anything about maths.

Three native american indian women were sitting around a fire talking one day (this was a long time ago). The first woman says to the other two: "You see that wolf skin on the side of my wigwam?? My son caught that wolf, skinned it, and gave it to me. He is a good hunter."
The second woman says: "You see that bear skin on the side of my wigwam?? My son tracked that bear for two days, caught it, killed it, cut it's skin off, and gave it to me. He is a great hunter."
The third woman says: "You see that hippopotamus skin on the side of my wigwam?? I caught that hippopotamus, skinned it, and hung the skin up there all by myself. I am as good as both of your sons."

The moral of this story?? (Listen carefully now...) The squaw of the hippopotomus hide is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides

Please don't hate me for that.........

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:24 / 16.06.02

manga: That's my mum's favourite joke. No shit.

13:39 / 17.06.02

My favourite ever joke:

Three cowgirls are sitting in a bar. First cowgirls says "I call my boyfriend 'Huggy'." The other two ask "Why's that, honey?" (Just get in the mood and imagine strong mid-western accents.) "Why, because he's such a good hugger of course!".
Second cowgirl, not to be outdone, says "Yeah, well I call my boyfriend 'Kissy'." The other two, clearly slightly stupid, cowgirls ask "Why's that, honey?" (If the obviousness of this conversation is getting you down, imagine it was said in a slightly bitter and backbiting tone of voice.) "Why, becuase he's such a good kisser of course!".
Finally, third cowgirl smiles and says "Yeah, well I just call my boyfriend Drambuie." At this point the other two cowgirls are truly bemused and ask (slightly more realistically) "Ain't that some sort of fancy liquor?" to which the third cowgirl replies "Sure is, honey, sure is."

16:03 / 18.06.02

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help.She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied,"Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."
HaHa - What were you thinking?

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

02:51 / 19.06.02

Priest walks into a bar, asks "Where's the little boy's room?" Later, the Catholic Church pays everyone $2 million not to tell that joke anymore....

El Gato Was Right: the t-shirt

03:49 / 20.06.02

Q: What does Snoop Dog use towash his clothes?

A: Ble-otch

(cut me a little slack with this next one...)
Q:What do you call a fish with no eye?

A: Fssh

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