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Better Than Life

14:10 / 12.08.03

At one point in the BBC TV series Red Dwarf, the characters end up playing 'Better Than Life', a total immersion video game wherein all their dreams come true. Players of BTL can have whatever they want, whenever they want it (in the tv version, at least. It's a bit more complicated in the book version, but ne'ermind). So - what would your Better Than Life look like? Swimming pools filled with champagne? A Mr Burns-like fortune? As much manflesh as you can handle? Unmitigated success in your chosen field? Or, like Rimmer, does your psyche hate you so much that you'd end up producing the devil's own version of the Von Trapp family, and getting both legs broken by a debt collector with a large hammer (and that's just for starters)?

Tryphena Absent

14:18 / 12.08.03

Erm... I'd be far better looking and have more clothes. Never have to work again, people would never ever catch my eye on the street or on the tube (I hate it when people glance at you in the middle of the city). Rush hour wouldn't exist, I'd have a small pretty antique sports car to drive around in... looking pretty. My hair would style itself differently every day and I'd own a thousand pairs of shoes (and like all of them immensely). I'm not shallow btw.

Oh and I'd have about seven different houses in different parts of the world and smoking would make my health better.

14:33 / 12.08.03

I reckon mine would be pretty much the same as it is now, only we'd all have a bit more money.
My life is better than most.

14:49 / 12.08.03

I also would be far, far better looking, and able to keep it up without any real effort. I'd be able to switch biological gender characteristics at will (in fact, being able to alter my appearance at will, a la Tonks, would be good too). I'd be socially adept and more together (And cleverer. And funnier). I wouldn't be bipolar. I'd actually be good at the things I want to be good at, and successful at the things I most want to be successful at. I'd be happy being me. I'd have enough money that me and my family didn't have to worry about it ever, and a nice house, nothing too big or fancy, but perfect for me.

Magic, in the children's book sense, would exist. And yeah, world peace, no poverty, and so forth. I quite fancy eternal life, too. Not much to ask, eh?

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:51 / 12.08.03

Funny, spidermonkey, I'd say the same thing. Only substitute "a lot" for "a bit".

Oh, and I need to have a second home in Brooklyn, NY: a spacious loft which I share with Nick Zinner, Chad from The Neptunes and either of Avenue D. This will be accessed via a secret portal located in my wardrobe.

I also need to be able to write on cue, and to have my pick of artistic collaborators.

I don't ask for much in life.

15:11 / 12.08.03

I would be Johnny Depp. That'd pretty much do it.

Or else I'd have fantastic magic powers and a flying castle, and be on a diplomatic mission to save mankind from itself, negotiating with world leaders to stop being fuckwits and vaporising all nuclear, biological and chemical weapons for a start, my castle would have a huge music venue that would be free to all and host the best talent in the world, my girlfriend could have a pegasus (she asked), the richest would give freely to the poorest, everyone would love each other and be enlightened, and there would be another Earth in opposite orbit to this one that we could colonise to solve the population problem, mosquitos wouldn't exist, cats would be revered as gods, work would be voluntary, robots would be sentient friendly and wise with a strong work ethic, everybody would have summer holidays, disease and death would cease to be and God would come down to earth to congratulate the human race on doing so well....

15:19 / 12.08.03

I would have a camel, a bit of immortality and money, thereby allowing me to ride Shane, (my trusty camel) from Venice through Uzbekistan, Tajikstan, Afghanistan, etc. to China.

Then I would have Barbelith safe houses around the world too. With fully stocked bars. And libraries.

...and a castle in Graz. Maybe a private train to get around in. Ooh! AND I would be incredibly multi-lingual! Speaking everything! German, Turkish, Mandarin, etc.!

Mmm... I'm going to be fantasizing all day now...

15:46 / 12.08.03

I'll second Spidermonkey there and say they same as it is now. Rather than a bit more money I'd just have a magic transporter machine allows me to instantly commute anywhere! No long distance relationship woes! No hours spent in airport lounges!

16:11 / 12.08.03

Hmmm

(pause for thought)

I'd like no scars, a six pack, big hands, 20 20 vision, love to fly, be awake when I needed to be, have my intuition and perception improved upon, be more of a laugh, fluent in french, be more spontaneous and confident

(another pause)

be utterly known and understood by someone, just to see what that was like.

20:26 / 12.08.03

The man from the AHRB would say yes, and it would be about five degrees cooler all year round (on average).

Or I'll take a version of Barry's, but without the camel and Tajikistan part...

20:41 / 12.08.03

spidermonkey has started a good trend. i'm on board.

21:46 / 12.08.03

I would be Supreme God Emperor, immortal ruler of the known universe, worshipped by countless people as their Divine Creator, wielding the power of life and death, bringing eternal joy or endless suffering to whole planets with but a wave of my hand.

And no, this isn't overcompensating for my short-comings. This just barely makes up for my short-comings.

The God Emperor has spoken.

The Apple-Picker

21:52 / 12.08.03

I would be the best at everything. But so charming that you can't hate me for it.

And I'd have Cher's wardrobe.

The Apple-Picker

22:07 / 12.08.03

Okay, obviously if I were the best at everything, I'd also be so charming that you wouldn't hate me for it.

I would have a house in a hilly, wooded, rural region, maybe in the Ohio Valley, and I could control the climate on my property so that some I could grow all kinds of different plants--mango trees, papayas, lemons, cherries, apples, corn, and on and on. I would have children. I would write poetry and novels and critics would hardly be able to restrain their glee over my genius. I'd put out my own records Jandek stylee and only two people would know that it was me. I'd have a horse, and that's how would get places--just park my horse in front of the movie theater. And my horse wouldn't have wings, but she could fly to England, Italy, France, where I'd spend some time from time to time. I would have a treehouse that I'd sleep in sometimes. I would sell cookbooks full of the recipes I've written. I would either have a husband who lived next door, or I would have absolutely no reservations about not having a romantic relationship. I would be fluent in no fewer than half a dozen languages.

And I'd have Cher's wardrobe.

22:17 / 12.08.03

For starters we'd (that's Barb and the like) be running ever'ting by show of numbers (no bonuses for long servors, and no new starters after we've started and all that cheatin infiltration).

And "I'd be happy being me" would be our watchword in which if we weren’t then, why the hell not and someone else must be doing something wrong because if we were not happy with ourselves, whilst running the show, then sweet bloomin bejeebus, I blame the whole show for not being accepting enough. (or tough enough? or...)

And some more things:

- Everyone is an artistic collaborator

- Magik would be a lot more accessible in the 'best kind of' way

- Mankind wouldn't need saving due to incredible amounts of realisation and self awareness

- Understanding of our fellow beings would be studied at schools from 5 till end

- Free camels for everyone!

- Laughing (Reloaded) wouldn't be allowed to be in charge but would be brain washed into thinking that everyone was only so happy because they were listening to the guidance issued (forthwith?)

and then we would all start looking seroius like...

01:26 / 13.08.03

- Laughing (Reloaded) wouldn't be allowed to be in charge but would be brain washed into thinking that everyone was only so happy because they were listening to the guidance issued (forthwith?) -- sTe

Sounds good to me.

08:57 / 13.08.03

I would have a nice house (like a certain place in Dulwich known to a select few) but I'd probably have built it myself, with the help of a consortium of friendly anarchist builders, to avoid giving money to a blood sucking bank. I would get the tram into central London, which would be pedestrianised, and go to work for the day in my huge Institute fof the study of Magick, Pyschology, Tantra, Orgonomy and why monkeys are so funny.

In the evening I would cook stonking meals for friends and family - lots of little bairns running about and would drink fine wine but miraculosuly would have no hangover. On ngihts off I'd do something like play the drums.

Either that or I'd be Alan Moore. Can't decide.

Tryphena Absent

09:05 / 13.08.03

Scrap what I said, I want Illmatic's ideal life... but not the Alan Moore bit. I really would like to exist in a pedestrianised London where I went to work and compiled accurate articles on witchcraft in to thick books. Damnit (but I still want that little car and more clothes!).

09:29 / 13.08.03

but not the Alan Moore bit

Yeah. You'd look crap with a beard.

foot long subbacultcha

16:10 / 13.08.03

I would have a security mechanism built into my brain that would stop me from doing really dumb things for no reason that have a catastrophic (in the context of my own melodrama)effect causing me to regret the incident forever.

EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I DID IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!

..sorry

18:38 / 13.08.03

Then I would have Barbelith safe houses around the world too. With fully stocked bars.

It's a workable dream you know.

Let's see what would be my ideal life? (like I don't spend most of the empty, empty days thinking about this).

I would be successful in work to my own mind. Have a life I can look on and sigh over. Know that friends and family are safe and doing almost as well as I am (come on you were waitting for a little bit of ego to appear here weren't you). Be financially independent enough to not worry about spontanious purchases.

Oh and of course see the canonisation of Tom for this place (god what a creep).

19:27 / 13.08.03

I used to be having a vault of orange juice and swimming around in it Scrooge Mac Duck style... but I was five. (DuckTalesCore?)

Hmmmm some kind of benign protector for the human race would be good.
Huggles for the good, Toothaches for the bad.
Peace and Quiet.