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Naked rambling

 
 
Mourne Kransky
16:08 / 05.08.03
Just been listening to PM on R4 and their reports of someone (described by those who have spotted him as "athletic" and wearing only boots and a rucksack) undertaking a naked ramble of the length of the Pennine Way. Good weather for it.

But, isn't the countryside full of brambles and briars, stinging and biting insects, animal shit and spiky twiglets underfoot? I suppose the boots minimise the damage but you're bound to want to have a wee seat now and then, take in the view, smoke a fag, eat a packet of crisps.

When I was a child, we used to take all our clothes off and run about in the woods pretending to be cavemen. We were a bit too young for it to have much sexual connotations but I quite enjoyed it. I've been on foreign beaches where everybody had all their textiles off and that was fine but then those beaches were generally kept well free of dogshit or spiny, hurty shells and things.

Is the sense of freedom a sufficient counter-balance to the perils of the natural world, do you think?
 
 
waxy dan
16:16 / 05.08.03
NO. The countryside always ALWAYS fucks me up. Even if I just take my socks off.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
16:38 / 05.08.03
I think the pain and risk must be part of the secret thrill. Like S&M with plants.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
17:12 / 05.08.03
"Hurt me, Mistress Nature! I'm a member of a bad bad species..."
 
 
Linus Dunce
17:45 / 05.08.03
Having grown up in the sticks, I can say you learn where to step and sit to avoid most of the nasties. However, I'm a little too prone to midge bites to be airing the old John Thomas past, say, 4 p.m. Good luck to him!
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
19:18 / 05.08.03
Yes, provided you have a decent river handy. I think the Pennine Way is at least partly on the mountain range, so you probably avoid the worst of the dense undergrowth (which would post the greatest danger to the tender parts). I'd be worried about the bogs though. And the horseflies. I had the very pecualir experience a couple of weeks back of walking into a meadow and immediately finding myself the object of intense attention from a species of large, brown flies. Watching them sinking their probosces into my flesh was quite disturbing... fortunately, no allergic reaction to the bites, but disconcerting nonetheless.
 
 
cusm
20:28 / 05.08.03
As one who frequents a nudist-fendly camp, I do find having something on my bottom to be quite convenient at times. Once the new of naked wears off, practicality sets in again and you remember why man bothered to invent pants in the first place.
 
 
Sax
06:23 / 06.08.03
Heh, I just wrote a feature on this for today's edition. I'll post the link up later. Great quotes from the bobby leading the investigation.
 
 
Quantum
08:24 / 06.08.03
Heard about Dogging?
Apparently groups of people go off into National Trust land and have orgies, I kid you not. They are called doggers because, you guessed it, when questioned they say they are just walking their dog...
Makes the naked rambler look about as exciting as the Naked Chef.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
08:56 / 06.08.03
The phrase "Dogger Bank" takes on a whole new meaning. I've enjoyed sex al fresco a few times but I suspect the urge to get your kit off is not a directly sexual drive. I quite like the idea, in theory, of communing with nature in some Garden of Eden kind of way but, as you find when you try shagging in the woodlands, the practice can throw up unexpected difficulties. Or delights, perhaps, for the Priestess' SM naturists.

I can certainly see the attraction of naked rambling. It would seem to be less exhibitionist than parading naked through Oxford Street, not that exhibitionism can't be fun too. Seems even more alluring as struggle to find clothes to wear to work in this heatwave. I need a flowing white dhoti or billowing shalwar kameez.

A punka wallah walking beside me with a waving palm frond would help too.
 
 
Sax
09:20 / 06.08.03
Dogging sounds quite unsalubrious. Isn't it where a load of cars park up in a lonely place then the men go and knock on the windows to choose your partner? I understand it's de rigeur to make the beast with two backs on the bonnet of the car as well.
 
 
A
12:37 / 06.08.03
I'm all for gratuitous public nudity, whatever the occasion, but one should keep in mind that there are some places you do not want ticks.
 
 
hanabius yamamura
13:18 / 06.08.03
... doing anything like that on a car bonnet in this heat would have terrible consequences for your butt-cheeks ...
 
 
Dances with Gophers
19:11 / 06.08.03
Just been wading through Fortean Times breaking news and found these stories. Police are looking for that rambler the spoil sports! and a bus driver has found another good way to keep cool.
 
 
pomegranate
19:35 / 06.08.03
1. tans are bad for you! and, they give you wrinkles.
2. is "john thomas" british slang for the male member? my lord! that's my father's name!
 
 
Shrug
20:53 / 06.08.03
I'm not very outdoorsy, not even very outside-y-, and I don't see how anyone can be, the last time I went to somewhere vaguely woody the first thing I say was a maggotty stinking fox carcass. Previous country excursions have left me stung by nettles, with a weird rash,mildly electrocuted, or covered in mud, scared shitless by obese (and I mean monkey sized) evil rats or just plain bored shitless.
Euch the great outdoors. But naked? It's out to get you! Wear full body protection!
 
  
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