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Quote of the day

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We're The Great Old Ones Now

21:38 / 24.07.03

"His grandfather was a duke, and he himself was educated at Eton and Oxford. Watson? Bring the gun."

Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes in 'The Red Headed League'.

Matthew Fluxington

23:06 / 24.07.03

"When you go see David Schwimmer, make sure you turn away the riff raff. If not, it could get ugly!" - Phillip Conroy, in Alan Seewell's That's The End Of You, Old Man

w1rebaby

23:45 / 24.07.03

US Military Considers Manners Carefully

"On the one hand, a public display could help lessen fear among Iraqis that the former government remains a threat; on the other, the military does not want to appear to be gloating." - New York Times.

I mean, obviously, there would never be any deliberate gloating.

moriarty

01:01 / 25.07.03

"Ride your dog like a dirtbike."
-My brother.

MJ-12

01:55 / 25.07.03

"Whether or not Y: The Last Man is a top-level comic book is a question best left to the comic book aficionados, and I've tangled with enough of them to know they're an even more lethal breed of hairsplitters than indie-rock critics."

Sheerly Avni

Matthew Fluxington

12:01 / 25.07.03

"To sense the responsibility is wisdom, Carlo. To think that you can do it alone would destroy you, and us all!"

Grodus The Elder, in John L. Folger's The Knight Of The Golden Sun

moriarty

12:50 / 25.07.03

"Pluto likes guns but hates Nazis."
-JD-0

Ethan Hawke

15:08 / 25.07.03

"The chapter titled, 'The Ten Dumbest Things I've Seen American do in pursuing a Russian Wife' is right on the mark and this chapter alone would make this book worth the price."

Gary Clark, author of Your Bride is in the Mail, in a back cover blurb for To Russia For Love

Shrug

20:22 / 25.07.03

"Squatting over a mirror checking out my bumhole" Scott from Big Brother while sleeping.

Whisky Priestess

21:37 / 25.07.03

Yeah right he was asleep ...

Cameron using the word Magic about seventeen times in one sentence just after winning BB4. See what happens when you reduce your swearing vocabulary? The rest of it suffers.

Matthew Fluxington

15:39 / 26.07.03

"I felt as though I was on fire, Kenneth. I felt reality slowly disintegrate around me, until there was nothing left but myself and Catherine. It was as though we were the center of this vast, empty universe, with the nothingness orbiting all around us. It was terrifying, but also utterly intoxicating."

Dr. Erik Babcock, in Lena Olritch's The November Century

Matthew Fluxington

21:47 / 27.07.03

"Danny, you're so good with the ladies. They even come to your house!"

Vinnie, in Carol Leary and Douglas Wolcott's Stumpy Owens.

Tom Coates

22:13 / 27.07.03

The people with the most to hide never have moustaches. So which are you, Anthony? Ponce or spy? [Queen Mum as represented in Cambridge Spies]

gingerbop

00:40 / 28.07.03

"Lauren fell in love; and then fell down the stairs."

Laughing

12:36 / 28.07.03

"What a tragic waste of melon balls." -- Red Tornado

Matthew Fluxington

17:24 / 28.07.03

Byung Yong-Joo's delicate lips lingered on Im Kwon Taek's shoulders, tasting each droplet of sweat, savoring each bead, carefully noting the character. One was sweet, and tasted of freshly cut honeydew, and yet another recalled the salty, vaguely pungent flavor of her mother's kimchi.

from Theresa LaGrange's The Tides Of Seoul

ibis the being

19:12 / 28.07.03

Seen by my friend while traveling: graffiti on the condom dispenser in a public restroom:
"Insert baby for refund."

Matthew Fluxington

11:41 / 29.07.03

"The sound has got to be like a train taking you someplace, man. When Cecil played, it was like a train taking you to NASA, where they'd send you off in a rocketship. I always wanted to put you right on that rocketship, you get me? I wanted to zoom you to the moon!"

- Booker Leland, in an interview discussing Cecil Taylor in Reginald Walker's The Notes They Don't Play: A History Of American Post-Jazz

Eloi Tsabaoth

12:03 / 29.07.03

"You're not only wrong, you're wrong at the top of your voice."
-John J Macreedy, Bad Day at Black Rock

unheimlich manoeuvre

14:02 / 29.07.03

It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but there's the weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is complete and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime.

-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

rizla mission

14:48 / 29.07.03

"Who does vote for these dishonest shitheads? Who among us can be happy and proud of having all this innocent blood on our hands? Who are these swine? These flag-sucking half-wits who get fleeced and fooled by stupid little rich kids like George Bush?
They are the same ones who wanted to have Muhammad Ali locked up for refusing to kill gooks. They speak for all that is cruel and stupid and vicious in the American character. They are the racists and hate-mongers among us - they are the Ku Klux Klan. I piss down the throats of these Nazis.
And I am too old to worry about whether they like it or not. Fuck them."
- Hunter S. Thompson (has still got it)

"I keep hearing these people saying there's too much violence in music. I don't think there's enough."
- Howe Gelb

Shrug

21:16 / 30.07.03

"The lines are only in your head, in actuality, there are no lines at all, which is really fucking terrifying when you think about it."
-Brenda,

Matthew Fluxington

14:47 / 31.07.03

"I woke up around 3 am, and tiptoed downstairs. All I wanted was to fix a sandwich, or to have a small cup of ice cream. But there it was - the Thanksgiving turkey. Thanksgiving was not for another three days, but I wanted it. I needed it. I had to have it. I felt this peculiar sort of lust for turkey flesh that I'd never felt before in my life.

I thought about the mechanics of it all. How on earth does a man cook a bird like this? I tried to remember cooking programs from the television, and forced myself to recall half-forgotten images of my mother in the kitchen on Thanksgiving day from my youth. I'd never cooked a turkey that size, much less stuffed or basted one. This was going to be a challenge."

- Theodore Eichler, from his memoir Thyme And Space - An Epicurean's Life

Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey

00:30 / 01.08.03

OK, this quote didn't make me either laugh or howl, but I thought it was a quote well worth quoting, so here it is:

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

ephemerat

03:06 / 01.08.03

The first two lines of Chesterton's autobiography:

Bowing down in blind credulity, as is my custom, before mere authority and the tradition of the elders, superstitiously swallowing a story I could not test at the time by experiment of private judgement, I am firmly of the opinion that I was born on the 29th of May, 1874, on Campden Hill, Kensington; and baptised according to the formularies of the Church of England in the little church of St. George opposite the large Waterworks Tower that dominated that ridge. I do not allege any significance in the relation of the two buildings; and I indignantly deny that the church was chosen because it needed the whole water-power of West London to turn me into a Christian.

Unencumbered

06:59 / 01.08.03

"No doubt I was experiencing some kind of inherited British need to play fair with regard to queuing. I think its roots are in the colonial thing. Shooting hordes of insubordinate natives was acceptable when 'needs must', but jumping a queue was always quite intolerable. The whole raison d'etre for a vast British Empire had been a desire to teach the ignorant peoples of the world how to queue correctly."

Tony Hawks, Round Ireland With a Fridge

afwotam

08:48 / 01.08.03

OK, the first isn't really a proper, honest to murgatroyd quote but it made me howl...

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us"
Western Union internal memo, 1876

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
Rich Cook

"A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error."
Dennis Miller

"We didn't actually overspend our budget. The allocation simply fell short of our expenditure."
Keith Davis.

Saveloy

11:22 / 01.08.03

'If there’s one thing the police and the criminal justice brigade hate above all else it’s someone who “takes the law into his own hands”.'

Richard Littlejohn

(I love "the criminal justice brigade"! I can't wait for him to do a bit on the fire brigade)

Matthew Fluxington

13:06 / 01.08.03

"I think we're going to have to take this to the patio. Yeah, definitely the patio."

- Kyle, trying to find a good place to ask out Sheila, the girl of his dreams, in Rachel Lynn Aston's Don't Look Now

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:11 / 01.08.03

"In the morning we got bagels from Tony's in the East End. We did this every morning all that summer. Whether we were on our way to haul lumber at the docks on a Tuesday, or had been up all night doing barbituates, we got bagels from Tony's in the East End. Even after the night that Burbank killed the Jew, we got bagels from Tony's in the East End."

- Augustus Fitzwallace, A Thin Horse In Winter

We're The Great Old Ones Now

18:51 / 01.08.03

That's exceeding TS Eliot. Am I showing my ignorance if I ask what the thing is?

Linus Dunce

22:30 / 01.08.03

"Twelve voices were shouting in anger, and they were all alike. No question, now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."

Matthew Fluxington

22:56 / 02.08.03

"I would hate to think that I peaked with a critical dissection of postmodernism in Robocop in 1988, but after all this time, I'm still proud of that piece, so I'm not bothered by it."

- Timothy Knophler, in the introduction of his book of essays Reinventing Reinvention

rizla mission

11:43 / 03.08.03

"People always tell me they had fun. I think the only two people who didn’t have a good time were me and the guy who got killed."

- Mick Jagger on Atlamont

spidermonkey

14:04 / 03.08.03

Quotes! "Yay!"

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