'llo 'lith. Hows it hangin?

13:39 / 22.07.03

Ive been layin low for past month and thought Id drop by for a few.. what you lot been up to?

anyone about mind giving me a "last week exciting epsiode" style update

Sax

13:48 / 22.07.03

Oh, where to start... surgeons in Singapore successfully separated the conjoined personality that was Ganaus, at which point Xoc found he didn't like the new Ganesh (it was the dribbling) and started "stepping out" with Flux.

Rizla had a fight with Shoelaces over exactly how many bpm Lena Martell's "One Day At A Time, Sweet Jesus" is. Rizla won, but only because he fooled Shoelaces into turning around by shouting: "Look! Cthulhu!"

Whisky Priestess has had a big tattoo all over her face. It doesn't suit her.

MC Lentil ate a whole cow.

Nick has written a follow-up to "The English Patient", which is in post-production now after filming at Bangor, North Wales.

It turns out that Grant was an alien after all. He's gone back to his homeworld with all the Kendal Mintcake on Earth.

Other than that, pretty quiet.

14:00 / 22.07.03

Actually, that was just a cover story for my invasion of Iceland with troops from the Federated States of Micronesia.

Today, Bangor; tomorrow, the world!

14:01 / 22.07.03

You forgot about the invasion of the Fabulous Custard People. How could you forget about the Fabulous Custard People?

Hurrah for the Custard People, I say.

14:05 / 22.07.03

ahhh custard.. the great Devon conspiracy.. Who woulda thought yellow goop could be sooo good?

14:10 / 22.07.03

This isn't going to turn into some kind've fetish thread about custard is it?

I don't think I could take that.

14:12 / 22.07.03

I joined the working people. My second day and I've managed to spend a significant amount of time on Barbelith. Oh when will a millionaire appear to sweep me off my feet?

14:13 / 22.07.03

Just add custard powder and stir it up Baby!

14:17 / 22.07.03

Add to what exactly? (shudder)

I joined the working people... I've managed to spend a significant amount of time on Barbelith.
I find I spend more time on here when I'm working well. I seem to get caught up in some kind've multitasking frenzy.

illmatic

14:20 / 22.07.03

Anna - the answer to your question is "never". This is your life now..

Stop whining and adapt.

14:24 / 22.07.03

Anna: check out this guys second day on the job to see how things should really be done

http://www.emotioneric.com/

(Id link the image but frankly I havent a clue how.. to my shame)

14:27 / 22.07.03

14:31 / 22.07.03

you know.. its kinda distrubing in the cold light of day..

14:43 / 22.07.03

Add to what exactly? (shudder)

Everything!

14:49 / 22.07.03

Yes! Mordant is right.

Custard powder and limousines! Custard powder and elephants! Custard powder and Prince Charles.

Almost anything is improved by the addition of custard powder. Especially religion.

14:56 / 22.07.03

If it rains everything's going to be veeerrrry smelly the next day.

14:58 / 22.07.03

Especially religion.

Yes. That will smell most of all.

15:07 / 22.07.03

yeah. Sure, ask any smoker, to mask a smell you need to burn candles and lots of insense..

15:10 / 22.07.03

Custard incense.

lentil

15:12 / 22.07.03

Yummy!

Kit-Cat Club

15:18 / 22.07.03

Almost anything is improved by the addition of custard powder

Bouillabaisse?

grant

17:19 / 22.07.03

What do you think that stuff is inside the crawfish heads anyway?

Salt custard.

Oh, and Sax -- we're still watching you.

17:37 / 22.07.03

Anna - the answer to your question is "never". This is your life now..

Stop whining and adapt.

no.

Kit-Cat Club

17:59 / 22.07.03

Have to say I'm with Anna here. Moaning is what makes life fun. I mean - who wants to be cheerful about data entry? Agree with me.

18:09 / 22.07.03

Being cheerful about data entry is fucking stupid. "Oooh! Goody! A bunch of meaningless numbers to type into a crappy database that doesn't work properly and never has, despite all the money that your shithead manager spent on it! Mmmm! Lovely!"

Umm, hi, thumbninja. Was this your thread? Ooopsie.

sleazenation

19:51 / 22.07.03

hmmm kit-kat would that be the solidarity of an ex-data enterer...

19:58 / 22.07.03

who once worked in the same office?

Kit-Cat Club

20:10 / 22.07.03

Possibly, possibly...

It is a bit ghastly but at least they're reasonably relaxed about net usage, and they never minded when I talked to my computer. The actual work is very mundane, though. Much like what I am doing at the moment. Will we never be free? (Illmatic, if you tell me to stop whining and adapt I shall give you such a pinch)

20:58 / 22.07.03

I'm tempted to send Anna flowers and take her to the opera just to prove Illmatic wrong.

I should send custard flowers, of course.

And it should be an opera about custard. Or at least creme anglaise or panna cotta.

Mordant, I must apologise. I have found something which would not benefit from custard: black nail polish. Although I always strongly suspected Fields of the Neph of putting custard on their hats.

grant

22:17 / 22.07.03

You've never heard Vile Custard's blackmetal albums, then?

22:29 / 22.07.03

Look, if you think black nail polish wouldn't benefit from custard then you're just not trying hard enough. And the F. of Neph. used only the very finest custard powder, sprinkled over their regalia by highly-trained custard sprinklers. You know when they went all shit? That's when they started using regular cornflour. When they went self-raising, it was all over.

23:18 / 22.07.03

But would you pull up to my window in a chauffeur driven car with an aria blasting out of it?

Somehow data inputer to love of millionaire's life isn't as romantic as that whole I-was-a-prostitute-but-you-changed-me thing.

Persephone

23:20 / 22.07.03

Well then, the first thing that you have to do is change jobs!

gravitybitch

01:50 / 23.07.03

Oh, no, don't do it!!

I've never stopped despising Julia Roberts for that role in Pretty Woman.

If you just find the right man, everyting will be jus' fine... get your self respec from somebody else, that's right, that leaves you wide open and receptive to the evil messages of the Advertising Council...

Seriously, go for the Opera. And flowers. whether or not they're custard powder-sprinkled.