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Would you rather...?

 
 
that
07:48 / 15.07.03
Read only the poetry of Andrew Motion...
Or only soap opera fan fiction...
For the rest of your life?
 
 
Sax
07:51 / 15.07.03
Soap opera fan fiction, definitely. Alfie Moon/Dennis Watts slash.

So, would you rather...

Fall from a tall building or
Roll a brand new car?
 
 
Smoothly
08:18 / 15.07.03
I would love to roll a brand new car.

Would you rather...

Have a head that was twice as big,
Or a head that was twice as small?
 
 
Ex
10:49 / 15.07.03
While the temptation of having a huge, benign, bobbing head with a moon visage is tempting, my pores would be huge and my teeth terrifying.
So it has to be the tiny, shiny, dainty little Dresden doll-head welded onto my hulk torso.

So: You've lost your keys. Is it better to be locked out, or locked in?
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
10:56 / 15.07.03
Depends how badly you need to go to the loo...

Um. Locked in - all the comforts of home while you wait for the 24-hour locksmith to turn up, and you can stick your head out of the window if you need fresh air (if you stick your head through the window for some stale air, you'll have to pay the glazier as well as the locksmith; and we all know what happens when glaziers come along, with their blowtorches and their putty and their merry glazier song, don't we? They put another pane in, it takes no time at all, but you have to get a painter in to come and paint the wall, and so on ad infinitum...)

In the event that there is a large, scuttly spider in your humble abode, would you rather...

a) live in the constant nervous expectation of being startled out of your wits by it

or

b) squash it and have to clear up the sticky mess?
 
 
Mr Messy
11:03 / 15.07.03
Living in fear, and learning the valuable life skill of dealing with my anxieties along the way.

So faced with the life or death option of two terrifying internal examinations, would you take winterton speculum/urethral swab (this is all one option dependent on your genetalia) or opt for anal probe.

My apologies for the above.
 
 
The chimp
11:41 / 15.07.03
Anal probe.

Would you rather be raped or murdered? (c)
 
 
No star here laces
11:50 / 15.07.03
I'd like to be raped. By savage primitives clad in fur and clutching shrunken heads.

Would you rather have body odour or halitosis?
 
 
Whisky Priestess
12:18 / 15.07.03
Hmmm .... tough one. As a smoker I have ciggy breath most of the time anyway, but a) other smokers don't seem to mind and b) I chew a lot of gum. Body odour repels people from much further away, but at least you can shower frequently to get rid.

Oh god ... body odour, because you can do a lot more about it. I refuse to believe that people who smell couldn't sort it out with a shower a day and some Mitchum Dry.

You and your mother/father are on trial for the crimes of the human race. One of you must die. Which do you choose?
 
 
Sax
12:23 / 15.07.03
Whisky, you absolute cow.

Okay... well, really the answer should be the parent, because they've already led a full and exciting life and I've still got so much to offer the world, but... I couldn't watch the oldsters go down instead of me, so it would have to be a selfless sacrifice.

Now, if you posted a reply to this thread at exactly the same time as another poster, and you were both moderators on the forum, would you agree to their request to delete your own post and answer their villainous and uncomfortable question, or would you disagree with the moderation request and instead move to have the other poster's answer deleted instead?
 
 
Whisky Priestess
12:58 / 15.07.03
That's easy: whoever's answer appeared first has priority. But if you wish I will answer the "Should I stay or should I go" question you originally posted.

I should go - because the trouble incurred thereby will only be doubled if I stay.

Would you rather have had an experience and forget ever having had it, or never have had the experience yet retain the memory of it?
 
 
Mourne Kransky
13:11 / 15.07.03
Easy, the memory will last longer than the experience. So, memory.

Would you rather
be Jeffrey Archer's cell mate
or
David Blunkett's dog?
 
 
alas
13:14 / 15.07.03
Funny you should ask--I am David Blunkett's dog, actually, so I guess I'd rather be Sir Archer's cellmate. It's a change, anyway.

Okay would you rather have ears but no mouth or a big pink bunny?
 
 
Baz Auckland
13:50 / 15.07.03
Big Pink Bunny of course! Name him Frank, have adventures, travel time, etc. What a choice!

If forced, would you rather watch Battlefield Earth (or insert your personal 'worst movie ever') for 24 straight hours, or listen to Shania Twain (or insert your personal 'worst music ever') for 24 hours?
 
 
Smoothly
14:07 / 15.07.03
I'd rather watch Sister Act II for 24 hours than listen to an Alannis Morrisette album once.

What would you rather have:
A child's hands or
A child's teeth?
 
 
Sax
14:11 / 15.07.03
A child's teeth. I could keep them in a little pouch around my neck and use them to ward off evil. Hands would be too bulky and messy, really.

Sex on the Beach or Long Sloe Comfortable Screw Against A Wall?
 
 
Quantum
14:54 / 15.07.03
Sex on the beach, goes down easier.

Would you rather beat up an old woman, or be beaten up by an old woman?
 
 
afwotam
14:59 / 15.07.03
Genitals+Sand=Bad, Bad, Chaffing... therefore Long sloe etc...

Would you rather lead a very long life of little consequence or live fast, die young, & leave a good looking corpse?
 
 
No star here laces
15:21 / 15.07.03
Do I get to choose the old woman? i would happily beat up Baroness Thatcher, if so. Otherwise, how hard can an old woman beat me? Not very, I'm betting. Fuck it, she can do the rape thing too if she wants...

The long boring life versus short exciting life is no choice at all. Of course I'd live fast die young.

Would you rather have extremely ugly children or extremely stupid children?

(and we're talking really ugly, 'kay?)
 
 
Ethan Hawke
15:25 / 15.07.03
Extremely ugly children. Personality can go a long way.

Would you rather lose both arms or both legs?
 
 
electric monk
15:45 / 15.07.03
Both legs. I need my hands, man. The hands are my life!

Would you rather be rich or happy?
 
 
Whisky Priestess
15:47 / 15.07.03
Really ugly. There is no remedy for stupidity: plastic surgery, on the other hand ...
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
17:21 / 15.07.03
Aw shit. If it's not one thing it's your mother. I guess I'd rather be happy.

Would you rather be a dog on the runway at the San Juan airport, or sell oranges at the traffic light in Orlando, Florida?
 
 
Shrug
17:40 / 15.07.03
Dog on the runway.... sounds fun off on a merry adventure etc!

Would you rather have a threesome with the Thatcher's or lick John Major's cum off Edwina Curry?

(Sorry)
 
 
that
17:41 / 15.07.03
Mm. I notice that two clashing posts were deleted (unless I'm hallucinating posts again). Might I suggest that if posts overlap, we don't delete them - instead the next person has the dubious pleasure of answering both/all of the previous unanswered questions. It's not like its exactly *work* (not like making the questions up, which I'm so shit at I don't think I'm going to be playing much).
 
 
unheimlich manoeuvre
19:10 / 15.07.03
since dennis thatcher is now dead, and necrophilia is against my religion, i'd lick john majors semen off of edwina currie.
(hmmm... having violent sex with Maggie had been a recurring fantasy of mine.)

would you rather always lie and be completely believed or always tell the truth and never be trusted.
 
 
Perfect Tommy
00:06 / 16.07.03
My penchant for nearly constant irony has nearly won me the latter already, so I'll take truthtelling.

Would you rather die heroically (like, really heroically) for a cause, or live very humbly (like, very humbly) for a cause?
 
 
000
00:17 / 16.07.03
Humbly. Heroics are either for very selfless people, or very stupid people -- usually deeply boring.

Would you rather smell of unwashed ass, or days old sperm/girl juice concoction?
 
 
ephemerat
00:26 / 16.07.03
For a cause? Sounds awfully odd behaviour to me...

But still, in the spirit of the game: live humbly, of course. You're a damn sight more useful that way, and besides, you get the rest of your life thrown in free. Heroic deaths are for suckers.

Now: would you rather never have sex again, or never fall in love again?
 
 
Spatula Clarke
00:38 / 16.07.03
It's been a while, so I could live quite happily without sex. 'Cos I am, like. Falling in love's funny and provides yr friends with endless winding-up material once it's passed.

So... spanked or tickled? Eh?
 
 
Spatula Clarke
00:41 / 16.07.03
Now I think about it, that should probably read "spanked or tickled to death?" in keeping with the general tone of the thread.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
01:30 / 16.07.03
This must be one of those "Ten million ways to die, choose one" things, right? I'd rather be spanked to death. I hate being tickled, but spanking is quite nice.

Chicken or beef?
 
 
rakehell
02:00 / 16.07.03
To be? Chicken. To eat? Also chicken.

You have recently risen from toiling in obscurity to become a low or mid-level celebrity in your chosen entertainment field. You frequently get column inches in newspapers around the world, feature in celeb photo-pages and are the subject of several rumours a year. Because of this attention, as certain doors have opened, other have obviously closed. People are aware enough of who you are that your opinions, even in the most casual of conversations, are coloured with your image as presented by the media.

The only exchange of ideas you've managed to keep untainted happens to be a message board, which board you've been a member since its inception some years ago. You've never met any of the other members, nor told them enough about yourself for them to figure out who you really are, but you know enough about each other so that the bonds you've formed feel like real friendship. Because you have a slightly "alternative" slant to your work, you're well respected by the board and often talked about favourably - getting cast for cool roles if you're an actor, adapting works to the screen if a screenwriter, etc. You never engage in those conversations beyond a simple "Yeah, that would be cool" or "No way, ze's totally wrong for that project!"

Recently a rumour with no basis in reality has broken out in the news. It is sufficiently bad - and hard to spin into a positive - that it brings you more notoriety than ever before - accusations of paedophilia, rape, being a neo-nazi/white supremacist, murder or the like. Your PR people are busy releasing statements and trying to quash the gossip, but because of your alternative persona, the mainstream press seems eager to propagate and fuel the controversy. The message board is filled with discussion of the incident with a lot of people leaning to the view that you are indeed guilty of the foul act/s. People you considered friends are saying things about your real persona which you find quite hurtful and upsetting.

Do you:
a) out yourself to refute the allegations and retain your cool status but lose the only haven for free conversation you had, or;
b) stay quiet and risk not only losing your cool status but becoming part of negative board-slang: "What are you, so-and-so?"; "Yeah, that's just what so-and-so said right after they busted hir."
 
  
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