“…friendship and acquaintance, online or otherwise, is delineated by the level of experienced "connection" or "synchronicity in beliefs" or "mutual respect".”
I think this is a reasonable view of friendships, but not necessarily complete. I mean, I can consider people acquaintances without a synchronicity of beliefs—in certain cases friends need not share too much of my belief structure, but they are still friends. I do certainly think that “mutual respect” has much to do with positive relations between people, and perhaps this is a part of what Nick meant when he remarked that his “assumption would always be the latter.” I find myself trying to patient with people and hear who they are—to try to let them speak for themselves as much as I can without “hearing” what my mind’s illusions are. I find that often this allows for an easy relation with even people I’ve only just met. I mean, it doesn’t always work smoothly because some people have attitudes and figure you’ve an attitude and maybe you pick up a bit of one ‘cause give and take is naturally in equal shares of energy, yah? & it takes effort and unbalanced energy to not buy into or succumb to something you perhaps are but not all that often and perhaps feel guilty or not so much that but merely question your motivations, but if you play the attitude game, which can be difficult not to, then you start neglecting both yourself and the other: you each start making masks and layers to the communication and interaction, and it isn’t who anyone is anymore, or at least not really or hopefully not: there’s always assholes, though. Oops, a bit of a long rant-style sentence there, please forgive.
I mean, be receptive to people when you can and it opens up a world of shared communication, knowledge exchange, and self-other exploration. I try to act as if we’ve all got something to learn from one and other, which means that we also have to figure out what it is that we teach. I think this sort of attitude towards people leads to acquaintances in many instances, but will easily hit on “kindred” or closely related “spirits” pretty quick. I also feel that it is not particular to IRL or online circumstance. I mean, we are relating to one and other in our interaction regardless, and we are interpreting both ourselves and each other to one and other, and hoping for the best—I hope. I mean, it’s self-other exploration, and I prefer if its friendly and respectable. Of course, there are some lessons that need to be learned from an “adversary” or “enemy,” but I think, in some strange way and in particular circumstances (ones not ignorant, but willful, controlled and conscious, say) there is also deep love and respect in and for our adversaries. I mean, if you don’t respect and keep a skillful eye on your satan, then you’re not gaining what is there to be gleaned from your satan.
Wrt the topic at hand, I think of some people here as friends, some as acquaintances, some as “allies” but not all necessarily friends nor acquaintances, a majority of the members are mostly strangers to me—people I’ve “seen around” or “met in passing” or “heard talking across the room,” if ya’ get my drift, and of course, I certainly think I’ve had at least one satan, and have also had a fair share of disagreements and posturing with some others—but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect at least some of these people, and others I might even care for quite dearly, even though I have never met them IRL and only know them from a handful of interactions or what not. I think I agree with Lurid in that there isn’t really a standard, but only instances, relations, and interactions/reactions. We all get to choose, really.
I mean, I think there are several members that I would enjoy meeting IRL, but that doesn’t necessarily keep me from feeling close to them within the context of this community. I know five other members IRL: my partner K (who reads often and posts very little), my friend T up in the Chuck (but from the Dead Rear) who has spent some stretches of time here, from time to time, and I met three out in Vancouver: two who have become friends and I’ve spent some good and fun time with, and one who bought my Surreal zine on the street, and who I figured was a decent chap and had a quick conversation with, and then only later did we find out (back on the board) that we had each met another Litherland member. I would say that this fellow would certainly fall under the “ally” category. As well, if I had the chance to meet up with him if I am out in Van again, I would gladly do so.
Anyway, I’ve blathered on about this for awhile now—I’ll let you get to someone else’s POV. |
