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Acetone is the chemical that you're smelling.
As well as vehicle exhaust and tobacco smoke, a major contributor to urban acetone pollution is penguin spraying. Illicit penguin farms are a popular source of income for inner-city residents but are banned by the EPA for environmental reasons. Acetone is used as a disinfectant, to remove persistent parasites (wasps, online quizzes and other, smaller, penguins) and to enhance the sheen of the penguins' feathers before sale.
Other tell-tale signs of penguin farming in your area may include (but are not limited to):
- a strong smell of herring
- flipper-shaped indentations in the butter
- late-night waddling sounds
- difficulty in locating ice in local stores, despite regular deliveries
- apparently self-propelled traffic cones - penguin farmers often conceal the birds from the police using these
Reports of possible illicit penguin farming should be made to penguin@epa.gov. There is a reward available of up to $1,000. |
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