Yeah, yeah—Ignatius J is on the money (a safe bet): people will tell us their perceptions of ourselves and how they figure our life might be modified in order to “improve” it. Yes, it can be the case that their suggestions are kind, wise, helpful, etc., but it can also be that their suggestions can make us feel inadequacies, negativity, etc. towards ourselves (where such things might not have even been present in our lives before—again, this is a two edged sword: it can point us towards things that are really part of us that we don’t see or it can create new neurosis which wasn’t present before). Like I am about to launch into wrt “balance,” we need to strive to find equilibrium between healthy self-assessment, which is derived in part from the opinions of others, and overly critical self-analysis, which can sometimes all too easily stem from the assertions of others. Yes, as you note JQ, “there is no easy or comfortable way to go about removing dis-ease.” This includes here the dis-ease aspects of self evaluation.
Personally, I find it hard to believe that there is no risk in your life. I mean, life is a risk quite often in ways that are so common place that only the most obsessive will dwell on them. A clear example is in our use of motor vehicles. Many people are seriously injured, maimed, and killed in auto related deaths every year, and yet, we hop into our automobiles largely without much care or fear of this as we buckle ourselves in and turn the key. Crossing the street can be a risk. Stepping outside can be a risk. It is an obvious matter of context.
“…do people think having some limitation is healthy?”
Absolutely. Partly for the reasons Nick mentions above—defining and familiarizing ourselves with our boundaries is an integral part of being able to transcend them or redraw them. However, there is the flip side of this that is involved with things like self-discipline, individual consistency, self-awareness, and etc.. This side of working with our personal boundaries appears to be healthy, productive, and I would even say necessary in the creation of that ambiguous and largely undefinable product, “The Good Life.”
I think there is a contradiction (surprise to few, no doubt!) in the notions of “adventurous” and “outgoing” people when taken as in opposition to “security” and “reservation.” It seems to me that in most cases (save the few anomalies) people who tend to take more risks are, in some sense, comfortable & secure in their abilities to do so. Put differently, people can as easily become habituated to their thirst for adventure as they can their thirst for familiarity: there is adventure in security (it can be a long road which takes much effort and work) & there is security in adventure (it can be neglectful of important duties and responsibilities we have as human beings; i.e., we can be comfortable in an adventurous shirking of some forms of dedication).
Me, well, some might say I’m a bit of a risk taker, but others might say I’m not—it depends on who you ask, really. For example, I skateboard which involves grinding and sliding curbs, jumping off and over stuff, and etc., which some people would consider risk taking activity. On the other hand, skateboarding (probably like skiing, snowboarding, and etc.) can be an activity of measured and progressive risk taking, which means that there is comfort zones and security within such risk taking activities. Wrt skateboarding, once we learn to ollie, which is a small risk, then we might try to ollie off or onto a curb. Once we get that, then we might want to try to ollie into a grind & so on. So it might seem risky to some, but to others, they see through this particular illusion of risk, and instead might think we are being tame because we are not trying to 360 flip out of the bowl—if you see what I mean. Again, we can see that risk and safety are like yin and yang: each is present in the other.
Put differently, and dropping the skateboarding metaphor, iszabelle’s advice seems to most echo my thoughts on the matter: push gently at your limits. If you can recognize them, then indeed you can begin to make conscious choices here and there that will test them or enlarge them, but in a way that isn’t going to be near as terrifying as jumping out a plane would tomorrow at dawn—if you’re picking up what I’m puttin’ down.
Also, I like her idea of flipping a coin because I do this occasionally myself—esp. when I find myself in a loop of indecision (which is certainly a form of limitation!). One flip (or best two outta’ three—see, habits are tough to break!) settles the score—even if I do the opposite of the flip (because I sometimes do) at least I am now doing something! |
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