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The Perfect Club

 
 
Seth
23:30 / 28.06.03
Which songs do you never hear in clubs which would be guaranteed to get you on the dance floor?

I'd like lists of artists and song titles (with descriptions and your personal reasons, if possible). Anyone who lists more than ten tunes gets to add any number of songs which they feel no self-respecting club should be without, whether they're well known or not.

Songs can be from any style: the only rules are that you can't have heard it in a club before, and it must inspire you to shake your ass.

(BTW: This is a semi-companion piece to this thread. The idea is have a playlist whereby people always hear something new, or something that they don't expect)
 
 
Seth
00:08 / 29.06.03
Saul Williams/DJ Krust - Coded Language

I would go fucking mental if I ever heard this. It's more of an incantation than it is drum'n'bass, Williams' rant charges straight over the boundaries of ludicrous, but his heart is so in the right fucking place. I can't imagine anything getting me dancing harder than the part where he starts calling down the gods...

Oneida - Sheets of Easter

Insanity. Oneida hit one chord for well over ten minutes with no let up and no variation, punishing for most, revelatory to some. The lyric is their statement of intent: "You have to look into the light, light, light, light, light." A song that drags you kicking and screaming into an ecstatic experience.

Gonzalez - Take Me to Broadway

Amazingly, I've never heard this in a club (probably a sign of how dire the situation is in Southampton). Tremendously catchy pop, a rap that treads a fine line between stupid and clever, huge sweaty synths and groove that demands ass movement. Sing along: "I got an extra testicle, but you're skeptical about spectacle, these days bad taste is so delectable, and the crowd is so suggestible..."

Melt Banana - Moon Flavor

Lightspeed punk, maddeningly catchy, guaranteed to have people asking the DJ what the hell they just heard. Classic feelgood rock'n'roll, infectious energy.

I'm listening to Teeny Shiny as I write, and I have to say that Bright Splat (Red Point, Black Dot) might be an equal or better choice, for very similar reasons to the above MB track. Moon Flavor sounds just that little bit more like a demented show tune, I guess.

DJ Shadow - Devil's Advocate (Heaven v Hell Bonus Beat)

Hard proof that Shadow knows the dancefloor. Pure beats for the most part, perfectly structured to bring in the synths at exactly the right moment. A decontextualised preacher condemns rock music over the breakneck drums, dropping the immortal line, "Music must give birth to orgasm and revolution." Fucking right.

More to come...
 
 
reddog
11:49 / 29.06.03
Hmmm I'm thinking about this and finding it quite hard.....most of the tracks that I've really wanted to dance to I have some how managed to get played in the past, by either being friendly, chatting the DJ up or by getting the beers in, 'she's crafty'.

Anyway I'm going to give this ago..back soon
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
15:25 / 05.07.03
This is a list of stuff that I think works really well. Some obscure, some not. Fire up the soulseek and try to find them.

April March "Chick Habit" (download it here)

Carol Douglas "Doctor's Orders"

Crossover "Extensive Care"

Loose Joints "Is It All Over My Face," "Tell You (Today)"

Scissor Sisters "Comfortably Numb"

Tom Tom Club "Genius Of Love"

Britney Spears "I'm A Slave 4 U" (especially the "Goodtime Girl" bootleg version mixed with Chic's "Good Times" available here

Avenue D "Do I Look Like A Slut?"

Missy Elliot "Work It"

Shakedown "At Night"

Yellow Note Vs. Pukka "Naked Drunk And Horny"

Soulwax bootleg - Blackstreet "No Diggity" Vs. Grandmaster Flash "The Message"

Beyonce "Crazy In Love"

ESG "Dance!" "My Love For You"

Culture Club "Church of the Poison Mind"

Human Leagure "Mirror Man"

Le Tigre "Deceptacon"

Peaches "Fuck The Pain Away" "Lovertits" "Set It Off" (preferably the disco mix of "Set It Off")

Taylor Savvy "Share The Dream"

Gonzales "Take Me To Broadway" "Let's Groove Again"

Dub Narcotic Sound System "Super Dub Narcotic" "Shake A Puddin"

The Knife "Is It Medicine?"

The Slits "I Heard It Through The Grapevine"

Bobby Byrd "Hot Pants (I'm Coming I'm Coming I'm Coming)"

Chuck Edwards "Downtown Soulville"

Eddie Bo "Check Your Bucket"

Erma Franklin "Light My Fire"

Gloria Jones "Tainted Love"

Ike and Tina Turner "Bold Soul Sister"

Kim Weston "Take Me In Your Arms (Rock Me A Little While)"

Martha and the Vendellas "(Love Is Like A) Heatwave"

Mike Viner's Incredible Bongo Band "Apache"

Otis Redding "Hard To Handle" "Mr Pitiful" (many many more)

Shorty Long "Function at the Junction"

Spanky Wilson "Sunshine Of Your Love"

Stevie Wonder "I Was Made To Love Her" "Uptight (alright)" "Sir Duke"

Syl Johnson "Dresses Too Short"

The Meters "Cabbage Alley"

The Supremes "Where Did Our Love Go" "Can't Hurry Love" "Nathan Jones"

The Vibrettes "Humpty Dump"

Thelma Jones "This Is The House That Jack Built"

The Minx "Something We've Got"

Jackson Five "I Want You Back" "ABC"

Michael Jackson "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough" "Rock With You" "Wanna Be Startin' Something"

Madonna "Dress You Up In My Love" "Material Girl" "Into The Groove"

Prince "Kiss" "Cream" "U Got The Look" "Controversy" "When Doves Cry" "1999" "Darling Nikki"

etc, etc

As a rule, most any good dancey pop hit from the 80s or r+b/motown from the 60s will keep people very happy on a dancefloor. It really depends on who your audience is - some people just go for different things. Hip hop will make everyone excited some places, and kill the floor elsewhere. I've mostly DJ'd for pretty upbeat pop-loving people who want to dance, so I tend to play a lot of hits.
 
 
SaciPerere
22:46 / 05.07.03
Flux, what kind of clubs do you go to? most of the tracks you mention do get played regularly. missy elliot "work it", britney "slave 4 u", even the bootleg??? all over the shop ... when they were new ...
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
22:48 / 05.07.03
I don't go to clubs.

And yeah, almost all of those songs are hits.

People like to dance to hits.
 
 
Mike-O
03:29 / 06.07.03
* The Thrillseekers - Synaesthesia
* Fragma - Say That You're Here (Riva Remix)
* Duran Duran - Ordinary World (I can't believe no one plays this in retro clubs, what the fuck?!)


I'll think of more, but thoughts?
 
 
Mike-O
03:33 / 06.07.03
OH! Really good one for the House clubs is Push - Strange World (2000 Remake)
 
 
rizla mission
10:02 / 06.07.03

I second Set's shout for Sheets of Easter, although it should be pointed out that going nuts to it two nights running was very tiring indeed. I think the best thing ever would be if this was slipped in amongst a set being played at an illegal rave to an archetypal field of pilled-up ravers.. god knows what it would do, but it would certainly be a sight to behold..

Also second the Slits and Le Tigre tracks picked out by Flux. They probably do get played in clubs sometimes though - ones that are too cool for me to go to.

anyway, let's get on with the reasons why nobody's ever dared let me get within striking distance of the DJ;

Any number of hits by Helen Love
enormous teenage pop songs expressed via a mixture of homemade happy hardcore and thrash punk. Only a chucklehead would dare stand still.

The Ramones - Do You Wanna Dance?
The can play this on repeat all night as far as I'm concerned.

Venom - Black Metal
all these clubnights that specialise in playing 'cheesy' cock rock - they totally miss out the best stuff. "LAY DOWN YOUR SOUL FOR THE GODS' ROCK AND ROLL!"

Black Sabbath - Iron Man
To which punters could indulge in a movement which can only be described as "stalking", in addition to some synchronised headbanging.

Slayer - Altar of Sacrifice
As a friend recently commented; "there's bad music, there's good music, and then there's Slayer.."

Motorhead - Overkill
do you see a theme developing?

Wire - 12XU
how many times can you jump up and down in 1 minute 50 seconds?

Anything of Alec Empire's last album
largely for the explosions of incredible hulk style rage; "C'MMMOOOONN!!!!!" "FFFFUUUUUCCCKKKK!!!!!" BANG!BANG!BANG! etc.

Avril Lavigne - Sk8r Boi
because it's, like, the best pop single ever!

Stooges - 1970
stomp your own groove into the floor.

Anything by Bomb 20, Jega, Kid 606 (circa 'down with the scene'), Bong-Ra, Ec8or, Ronin, CPUwar etc.
many would consider this stuff to be dance music that's too horrible to dance to. My ghastly thrashings would beg to differ.

The Birthday Party - sonny's burning
"hands up who wants to die??"

The Fall - Hey Student
for a hyperactive, bow-legged shuffle. The fact it's a more or less direct attack on me makes it better.

Captain Beefheart - Dropout Boogie
which continues in a similar vein. For all the dropouts and creepy old men to boogie to.

Add N to X - metal fingers in my body
self-explanatory

ADULT. - pressure suit
My one nod toward dancefloor trendiness. ADULT. are like electroclash's evil, throat-slitting, junkie twin..

Neil Young & Crazy Horse - like a hurricane (live)
In an act of sheer DJ-suicide, this is what I end with - thirteen awe-inspiring minutes of fist-pounding, anthemic chorus and gargantuan guitar-mangling heroics. Quite simply the greatest thing ever recorded.

Jonathan Richman - Dancing Late at Night
self-explanatory
 
 
No star here laces
08:57 / 07.07.03
Okay, so there are loads of these for me. The first category are songs that I love, and that I've heard people say they've heard them in clubs, but I never have and it ain't fair...

Debbie Deb - "When I hear music" and "Let me be your fantasy"
Genius clanky, robotic, over-emoting and vaguely filthy 80s latin freestyle music. Her voice is halfway between little-girl innocent and Madonna in slutty-mode and the production is just unlike anything else. Doesn't really have the builds that most people in clubs demand from music with this sort of house-y pace, but if you dropped it in at the right moment it'd certainly blow me away. Gets played in US electroclash-type nights, apparently. I wish it got played in the UK in the middle of pervy house sets...

Dynamix II - "Give the DJ a break"
Floorshaking bass in an 80s style. Despite the cheesy vocoders and scratching the bassline still has it. Dynamix II are one of those 'legendary' acts that always get talked about and never get played, which is a shame.

Genaside II - "Narra mine"
So I was the wrong age, and in the wrong bit of the country when this came out, but WHAT A FUCKING TUNE. They went on to do really awful breaks music but this is the absolutely definitive "light and shade" tune. For those that don't know (and I urge an immediate download if you don't) it leads in with this pretty, melancholy female vocal, drops out halfway into a looooong bass tone and then this manic ragga mc drops straight in really unexpectedly. Great bassline, paranoid, edgy synths and basically just perfection. I think even the most 'rock' of music fans could appreciate this... Again, why DJs feel they should drop in shite like "On a ragga tip" for their token "old school" tune I will never know, when you have gems like this that we never get to hear.

Jay-Z - "Snoopy track"
I think this is a function of timing, because I was in Edinburgh when this came out, and we didn't have any hip hop clubs that played modern hip hop at that time. And it's probably too old to actually get played in London any more, but I never got to hear it properly loud. It is such an extraordinary and weird record with that backwards thing. You can do some properly odd dancing to it...

The next category are records that I don't think most DJs would dare to play, or think to play.

Cover Girls - "Hooked on you"
More freestyle. This would never get played for two reasons - firstly it takes quite a while to get going and secondly the drums are so bonkers that I doubt anyone would know what to do with it. It's just a real curiosity - it does that Kid 606 stuttering cd-sticking type thing with the drums, but it's from '87 or so. The whole thing is coupled with the Cover Girls (who sound about 12 years old) singing about sex, but all chopped up and re-ordered. Production is just totally off the hook, drums all over the place and things coming in and out seemingly at random - not much of an 8-bar pattern here. I love it precisely because it's so unpredictable, but you'd need a crowd that really trusted the dj, which is rare.

Renegade and Static - "We'll delete the weak"
Scottish gabber. It's not Acardipane-style 'acceptable' gabber like they play at IDM nights, it's just nasty, loud and aggressive and slightly ill-favoured. A pretty personal choice, I wouldn't advise anyone to try actually playing it...

A black man, a black man and another black man - "I believe"
Hilarious name, which I assume is a piss-take on "Two puerto ricans, a black man and a dominican". This record is pure chicago 1987 - it's really spare and alien-sounding, very little going on and a voice talking over the top. It feels like you can draw a straight line through the underbelly of house from this record through to Boo Williams and Cajmere but the early stuff has that rawness and purity. A friend of mine has this, I've never seen it for sale, never heard it in a club and I would pay a lot of money to own it.

EPMD - "Get off the bandwagon"
So you'll hear "You gots to chill" pretty often. "Strictly business" and "Rampage" get the occasional outing. But you never hear this, and it's the best thing they ever did. Menacing Dre-style analog synth bassline, and loads of classic EPMD lines - "this ain't a blast from the past it's a boomer from the future" and best of all it has this moment when the track just stops and Erick says "Sucker" in just the most dismissive way.

Loads more, but I really ought to do some work now...
 
 
Danzig: He Pitys the Fool!
18:19 / 07.07.03
Utah Saints - Funky Music
Becasue Funky Music turns me on, it does something to my brain....

Deicide - Serpents of the Light
So I can thrash around like a lunatic

Manic Street Preachers - Faster
Why not?

Shotgun Messiah - I'm a Gun
Because its one of the best metal tunes i've ever heard. And I seem to be the only person ever to hear it.

Lab4 - Alien
OK, i've heard this in the dim and distant past, but cheesy techno always gets my hips wiggling.
 
 
.
18:55 / 07.07.03
Combining the gabba and thrashy guitar themes from earlier, I present my choices:

The Boredoms - Super Roots 7, track 2
It's fifteen minutes long and contains three repeated psychedelic chords- it starts fast, the middle section is faster still, and the last section is around 200bpm of madness. Which can then be mixed nicely into...

Think about Mutation - MotorRazor (Alec Empire Digital Hardcore mix)
One of the best named bands ever, with a piece of mid-nineties rave-gabba-thrash-metal. And if that aint enough, it's remixed by Alec Empire, who makes it even more gabba. Which with no change of pace can segue nicely into...

Kid 606 - never underestimate the value of a holler (vipee-pee mix)
It's another 15 minute tune, it's mental laptop bootlegging-gabba, it starts off with Missy Elliot and ends up with A-Ha. What more could you want?

Johnny Violent - Heaven is Oblivion
Apart from an epic piece of orchestral gabba- a hard as fuck distorted 909 kick powering a building mass of sweeping strings, delicious choral movements and... well...

At this point I think some sort of pause would be in order, and any one who has remained on the dancefloor be rewarded for their endurance.
 
 
pomegranate
20:00 / 07.07.03
"hoez get naked"
i'm not sure who this is by, i think dj assault? great booty bass song, even better than "ass n' titties." (which is also a great one to play, by dj assault.)
"what a life," rockers hi-fi
from the basketball diaries soundtrack. just nasty sounding, and slower. sick.
"gotta get through this," daniel bedingfield
they may play this at clubs but i've never heard it. it's kinda cheesy, but a great dance track, i love it.
"simon says," pharoahe monch
this is a totally offensive song. however, it has a sick hook of a sample. and it just might get girls to rub on their breasts!
"all 4 love," color me badd
totally cheesy. totally great. makes me wanna get up and skip.
"electric avenue," eddie grant
this song is fun and from the 80's yet not too overplayed at every 80's event.
"earn it," ESG
someone already mentioned ESG, but this is my favorite one. it jams.

also, semi-old stuff that no one's heard in a minute is always good:
skee-lo's "i wish"
bell biv devoe "poison"
wreckz n' effect "rump shaker"
milli vanilli "don't forget my number" and "girl you know it's true"*


*sometimes will clear the floor instead, in my experience (playing it at parties).

i'm sure i'm forgetting something.
 
 
Seth
23:26 / 07.07.03
Having just received Rizla's Summer CD in the post, I have to add Anaal Nathrakh's shitgobbling Pan-Demonic Hyperblast. The first song in a long time that's left me open mouthed in ecstacy, dribbling and farting in unselfconscious joy. I'd probably be the only person on the dancefloor, though...

Nice mix, Riz.
 
 
beatorbebeat
04:52 / 08.07.03
Soul Coughing "New York"
Fatima Mansions "Loyalizer"
R.E.M. "All The Right Friends"
Neko Case "Thrice All American"
Built To Spill "You Were Right"
King Aperatus "Sound System"
Happy Mondays "24 Hour Party People"
Kid Koala "Moon River (Live Hallowe'en 02)"
Cold Cut "Jungle Book Suite"
April March "Sugar" and Flux is so right.... "Chick Habit"
Jimmy Smith "Root Down"
Dizzy Gillespie "Manteca"
Stone Roses "I Am The Resurection (Jon Carter Remix)"
Specials (maggie's farm)
Police "On Any Other Day"
Johnny Cash "Orange Blossom Special" & "Folsom Prison Blues" & "Cocaine Blues" & "Rusty Cage"
Helmet "Unsung"
Fugazi "Brendan" & "Cashout"
Sonic Youth "Dirty Boots"
Velvet Underground "Waiting For The Man"
Iggy & The Stooges "Search & Destroy"
Status Quo "Pictures Of Matchstickmen"
The Clash "White Man At Hammersmith Palais", "Rebel Waltz", "Jimmy Jazz" & "Tommy Gunn"
Sex Pistols "Pretty Vacant"
The Damned "Jetboy" & "Smash It Up"
Jimmy Hendrix "Crosstown Traffic"
Pixies "Manta Ray", "Alec Eiffel", "Cecelia Ann", "Bick Is Red", "Vamos", "Isla De La Encarta" (& The Amps "Tipp City" 'cause I've been to Tipp City)
Guided By Voices "Run Wild" & "Glad Girls"
The Who "A Quick One While He's Away", "Baba O'Reilly", "Won't Get Fooled Again" & "I'm The Face" (as the High Numbers)
The Beatles "Run For Your Life", "Day Tripper", "Back In The U.S.S.R." & "Taxman"
that's all I've got tonight kids, may continue tomorrow...
 
 
beatorbebeat
04:55 / 08.07.03
oh and They Might Be Giants "I am Retarded" + "Man It's So Loud In Hear"...
 
 
Nematode
20:35 / 08.07.03
Techno animal, any of 'the brotherhood of the bomb' but clubs are just extended foreplay. I want to fuck.
 
 
Seth
22:15 / 08.07.03
Ditto on The Brotherhood of the Bomb. I was going to mention Cruise Mode 101 in my next post.
 
 
rizla mission
09:11 / 09.07.03
Syd Barrett - Octopus

Am I the only person in the world who feels the need to get down to this song? probably.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
09:59 / 09.07.03
I'd love to help - the only problem is that thanks to going to some fantastic night recently (Pottymouth, It Came From The Sea) I have very few tunes to list which I've never heard in a club before.

Oh hang on, just thought of one.

Royal Trux - 'Juicy Juicy Juice' - probably one of the tracks which explains why Royal Trux kept getting Rolling Stones comparisons for so long - not so much for the way it sounds (except for the bit where everything cuts out except for the cool percussion - maraccas? - and Neil singing "these are the membership blues"), but more for the spirit: Stones circa the best party tunes on Beggars Banquet or Exile... Great filthy squealing guitar riff, chorus like someone kicking a dirty football around the inside of yr head (pounding and silly and insistent and FUN), and the whole thing goes on far longer than you'd expect with all kinds of noise fading in and out. Dance like a sozzled muppet, rock kids.
 
 
Jackie Susann
01:32 / 13.07.03
Oh my God, it never would have occurred to me but if I ever heard 'Get off the bandwagon' in a club I would go nuts!

At the moment, my answer would be late 80s rap in general - because (for pretty obvious reasons) they never play it either at 80s nights (except for salt n pepa, for some reason) or hip hop clubs. so i would love to hear stuff like rumpshaker, eric b is the president, psyko funk, or pretty much anything from that era.

And I will always do my nana for No Diggity by Blackstreet, or Still Not A Player by Big Pun and Joe.
 
 
pomegranate
18:34 / 14.07.03
yes, still not a player = ill.
also, that edwin collins version of "girl like you"...awesome.
 
 
pomegranate
15:23 / 15.07.03
and "i can't wait," by nu shooz.
i know, i can't leave this thread alone!
 
  
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