Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.

Underground > Conversation >

Flirting

06:03 / 27.06.03

I am curious about the general level of flirtatiousness on Barbelith, or among Barbelith-ers...

Until recently I was convinced I just couldn't flirt, but then the other weekend I realised I actually do it all the time, and really enjoy it, especially when I'm drinking. I do it with people I fancy, people I don't, friends, acquaintances, strangers, basically anyone who comes within range. And there are some people I like hanging out with specifically because we flirt well together.

I am sorry for the boringness of this post but I am monstrously hungover today but anyway tell me

Are you a flirt?

06:25 / 27.06.03

yes, I can be. Sometimes I do it without thinking.

Lately though, I've just been really blunt. I've actually said this recently-- "I'll be blunt, I think you're pretty cute, fancy a snog?"

It worked as well, strangely enough. The wonders of excessive alcohol consumption.

06:43 / 27.06.03

Constantly. Knowing me, that probably indicates something rather unfortunate.

07:00 / 27.06.03

Yes I am, you cheeky monkey, take your hand off my knee.

Find flirting comes easiest when I'm relaxed, having a laugh and not too tense about the outcome ie. doesn't tend to work when I'm crazed with lust and desperation.

The Return Of Rothkoid

09:04 / 27.06.03

Are you a flirt?
Have you ever been to a barbmeet?

09:28 / 27.06.03

I flirt all the time it's just that nobody notices!

Actually though like many things in my life it only happens when I'm drunk, release the Bear!!! raaarrrr

Tryphena Absent

10:56 / 27.06.03

Sometimes I may deign to flirt.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

11:10 / 27.06.03

I often with flirt on-line, but IRL I'm generally too tongue-tied to do it, and end up clubbing whoever it over the head and dragging them back to my cave.

12:50 / 27.06.03

I do it, but not when any of my mates are watching. It's off-putting. You know they're looking at you thinking "Twat."

13:13 / 27.06.03

I do often and unintentionally. If I catch myself in what I'm saying (or remember the next morning) I get quite embarassed. It's my inner 'Mac Daddy' shining through my shy exterior I guess....

13:15 / 27.06.03

I like the idea of an "inner mack daddy". In shades and furs. Better than all that "inner child" hippy nonsense.

13:31 / 27.06.03

i am a constant flirt. i do it w/o thinking. i even do it, kinda, w/people who i'd never be interested in (women, married men). i guess in those instances it'd be considered more...just...charm? it's horrible that i can't turn it off. and then when i drink for some weird reason sometimes i get really crazy w/the false flattery.

21:22 / 27.06.03

I always seem to subconsiously flirt with my friend, john. (ok ok, not JUST him..) but i never notice im doing it until his girlfriend is there, and have to stop myself. Goddamn i dont see why she cares.

But for the most part, im too shy to flirt with people i dont know well, unless im drunk. Grrrrr i hate being shy.

The Return Of Rothkoid

21:35 / 27.06.03

Gingerbop: I think everyone's shy. It's just a matter of getting drunk enough/confident enough/dumb enough to forget it for a while. It's a bit like being almost out on the end of a branch... go further and see if it's really cool? Or plummet to the ground and break limbs? Only one way to see.

Unfortunately, I'm usually hugging the tree-trunk, screaming for Guinness.

01:15 / 28.06.03

I was talking about this last night, and the same thing happened...

Some people use 'flirting' to mean 'trying to crack on to', but others use it to mean something... less goal oriented? I'm with praying mantis, I flirt with people I have absolutely no sexual interest in, that's not what it's about. I'm trying to figure out how to describe it, it's kind of nebulous, about how you enjoy relating to people and public space... maybe it's about acting like you're going to go home with someone on the assumption you actually won't, but just possibly could? So you dance close, touch lots, talk about sex... well, I do. And like I say, once I'm in the mood I do this with everyone - housemates, bar staff, friends, strangers, everyone. Some people don't respond, others do. It's fun.

And Fool, I do that all the time. A friend was criticising my pick up style last night, saying it's too forward, but I don't know why I'm going to farf around with 'what are you doing, you wanna go somewhere...' when I could just pash someone. And even if they don't respond immediately, they know you're interested so if it gets to 5 am and they just want to cop off they know you're up for it...

02:03 / 28.06.03

I flirt. The problem is that my flirting is indistinguishable from my regular behavior to everyone but me. So it doesn't really tend to work all that well, I guess.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

09:34 / 28.06.03

I flirt.

It's the eyebrows.

10:01 / 28.06.03

Hah! When I was in 2nd grade, waggling your eyebrows Groucho style at a girl was about the filthiest thing you could do.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

15:45 / 28.06.03

You knew about Groucho when you were in second grade?

Sheesh. I'm so late to the party.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

16:17 / 28.06.03

I knew about Groucho a bit younger than that, as every Sunday morning, one of the local stations would run "Comedy Classics", comedies from the 20's and 30's. It's where I got my love of silent films, the Marx Bros, WC Fields (whose work has sadly has become hard to find) and Mae West.

And I wouldn't know how to flirt if you taught me. I am so utterly inept with that sort of things that I have yet to have a g/f who didn't pursue me first. For a while.

16:47 / 28.06.03

You knew about Groucho when you were in second grade?

Well, to be fair, I was 14.

17:10 / 28.06.03

Qalyn went to the University of the Streets.

(ask him)

17:13 / 28.06.03

Are you making fun of me? I got high marks in shivving and kneecapping, you know.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

17:14 / 28.06.03

Qalyn went to the University of the Streets.

Is that a redbrick?

17:17 / 28.06.03

I have a funny story about a brick, too.

17:32 / 28.06.03

hah! my very first halloween costume was a mmom, dad and my little 1 1/2 year old self as the marx bros. i was a baby chico and they taught me how to say 'hey, boss.'

18:59 / 28.06.03

Are you making fun of me?

No, flirting. duh! Making fun of people, gently, is a way of flirting. Isn't it?

I've been trying all afternoon to perfect that eyebrow wiggling.

23:42 / 28.06.03

I can't flirt, as it seems to require one to be a bit spontaneous and I have a horrible tendencey to over-analyze everything single thing I do. That and I'm not quite over my shyness. If I weren't so shy, last night when I helped some woman find something she was looking for and she said, "I'll see you around", I would have said something along the lines of "Promise?".

Damn my shyness. Damn it to hell. And damn the fact that every time I do open my mouth without thinking I get into trouble.

02:40 / 29.06.03

I like to flirt. But since I've been married, I only flirt with people who know I'm married. Don't want to back myself into a corner.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

02:43 / 29.06.03

Thinking about it, uswing Groucho as a model for flirting isn't that great an idea. He always ended up with Margaret Dumont wanting to marry him.

*shudders*

We're The Great Old Ones Now

07:17 / 29.06.03

hah! my very first halloween costume was a mmom, dad and my little 1 1/2 year old self as the marx bros. i was a baby chico and they taught me how to say 'hey, boss.'

Tell me there are pictures? That's astoundingly cool/cute.

Although I'm now worried about which of your parents was Harpo.

08:57 / 29.06.03

Flirting on speed is the best. Inhibitions are lower and your imagination is both keener and more vivid. Its like having a lucid dream, at its best. Combine that with the slimes, lots of rubber dresses and...ooohhhh. good memmories, good memories.