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Boredom Begets a Run of Stupid Questions

14:40 / 21.06.03

I have been bored for quite some time now, and as a result, I've become fixated on some irrelevant questions which I now pose to the rest of you out of curiousity. These questions have mostly arisen from comments in other threads. Anyway, here goes:

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?

All in lighthearted, goodnatured, fluffy fun.

Andrew C*** passing himself of as Haus

16:08 / 21.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.

Black Diesel jeans, faded here and there for effect, tight at the thighs and loose like flares at the bottom. Bought for $180 in New York. the fanciest pants I ever did own, and worth every dollar.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?

Don't subscribe to any. DID subscribe to New Scientist, and Neon film magazine when it was still around. I normally used the cards inside for roach material.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?

A pocket torch.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?

I don't get the chance to play in traffic that much anymore, which is a pity, as I'm sure a lot of my fellow Lithers would agree, but it's always a kick to see others chancing themselves in the path off an oncoming juggernaut of fire engine.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?

The cha cha. It's more flirtatious. And the skirts are higher.

19:02 / 21.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.

A pair of fake Maharishi combats, embroidered with a red and white dragon on the back of the left leg. Bought them 3 years ago in Cornwall, the only remotely stylish garment in a sad little discount place in Truro.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?

I don't subscribe. Don't want to be infested with junk mail. But a neighbour of mine does, and I'm frequently tempted to hijack his copies of Private Eye, New Statesman and Economist from the communal postbox and return them once read, minus wrappers and labels! The cards would be consigned to the recycling bin, thereby doing the subscriber a favour. Once considered a subscription to PCZone, if that counts.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?

Goddamit, I hate lighting fixtures! I have a real phobia of lampshades of any description. Probably opt to be a 25 watt lightbulb.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?

Don't do it. It's dangerous.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?

I like the Bear Cha Cha Cha. Probably because I watch Channel 5 in the mornings.

21:16 / 21.06.03

1. What?s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.

Old baggy Silvertab jeans that have lasted me a good four years. They're my best friend.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?

Actually, I did finally get a subscription to Premiere this year, my first ever, because some nice salesman came to my home and I like my movie magazines. As for the cards, I write death threats on the back of them and mail them to the sadistic, slack-jawed bastard who invented them and who watches you pick them up when they fall out as you read them at the magazine racks. I've seen him. He's there. The fucker.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?

A Mag-lite flashlight. It's steely.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?

Good times. Good times.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?

Are you crazy? The mambo. Tito Puente, for chrissakes. Who the hell does the cha cha cha have?

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

23:13 / 21.06.03

I only answer this thread to answer the favourite pant/trouser slack question. I apologise if you were looking foward to more.

But I feel I must comment on my complete lack of a favourite. It's sad, but I'm afraid it's true. I did have a favourite, oh, such beautiful jeans they were. And now? Now they have holes in the crotch area and a zip which just won't work. No-one can be sure whether barbelith is dying or not, but be sure of this; my jeans are dying.

I see other pairs of jeans developing holes in the crotch area, and I can only put it down to expansive construction work taking place in that area. Now I only have jeans I do not like, and, completely inexpicably, jeans which no longer fit. I can only conclude that they are slowly decreasing in size to mess with my head. Or a wily little pixie is pulling an amelie on me, and slowly decreasing the size of my trouser ware by swapping them in the night, without me noticing.

So, sadly, I only wear jeans I dislike. Won't someone end my torture? Can the crotch holes be stopped? Nobody knows that.

17:39 / 22.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.
Probably a pair of leather jeans bought for me (like all my best duds) by my fuckbuddy. They are five or six years old and have stretched beautifully to accommodate my lardy hindquarters. Nothing quite like old leather for comfort. Plus the wonky stitching on the fly makes me look priapic, which is nice...

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?
Only dull, dull professional and mental health ones. People have given me gift subscriptions to National Geographic and to Vanity Fair in the past and that was a wee treat while they lasted. Not fond of written forms where there a more pictures than text.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?
I would be an antique brass chandelier, covered in cobwebs and dust.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?
My dislike of the motor car is such that the only fun I might have in traffic would be standing on a traffic island with a Kalashnikov, giving vent to my pedestrian rage.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?
I like Mambo shirts and I like the rhythm of the mambo but no, no, no - not the dancing.

18:03 / 22.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.

A pair of khakis I bought in desperation one time when I got completely soaked through and had 30 minutes to get to work. They only have six pockets but they hold all my assorted oddments comfortably without unsightly bulges.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?

Nothing at the moment, although I'm tempted by New Scientist . Most of the time the cards get tossed in the trash, but one or two end up getting used as bookmarks.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?

A nice light recessed into the wall with a dimmer switch so the brightness can be controlled.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?

It's pretty nifty, especially at night while wearing dark clothing. Playing with others is all well and good, until someone gets hurt. Poor Timmy, he still walks with a limp after being hit by that speeding fire truck.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?

What are these? froo-froo coffee drinks? Hell, if you're going to drink coffee, drink it the way god intended. Black. Coffee is ruined by sugar and cream and those other things people insist on ruining their coffee with.

18:37 / 22.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.

it has to be a pair of firetrap jeans I have. Inky dark blue in colour, and faded here and there as dictated by my lifestyle.
The best thing about these jeans is that they are several years old and for the last five (maybe six) they were too small for me. But now they fit perfectly, and have become a little baggy in the waist too.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?

I really should start to subscribe you know. God knows my magazine addiction is close to getting out of hand. What with the weekly trade mags I get for jobs, and those I pick up for entertainment. As for the little cards, I read them then usually chuck them. And a little note that will tarnish my reputation in this place, if you want to enjoy magazines with absolutely no cards, then buy porn.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?

I've always been fond of the screw in bulbs you get in standard lamps or angled poised lamps, so one of them, not too high a wattage though.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?

Personally I am always respectful of traffic and would never play with it without asking it's permission first. However there are some people I feel who could benefit greatly from this attivity. As would the world if it went badly wrong.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, tough one this. Do I go for soft and slow or speedy and passionate. I guess it's the same choice between a night of constant passion or a quickie round the back of the bike shed. If this is the case I fall back on my usual answer and say: "Depends on the person I'm dancing with"

Ninjas make great pets

19:01 / 22.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.

a pair of lighly stripped italian trousers bought by my boyfriend. Gorgeous cut, nice material and everytime I go to a size I can fit into them Im extremely happy. They're a good measure to when I look good cos I feel good when I can wear 'em.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?

Computer Arts and I tend to leave the inserty bits in until they fall on the floor and become my latest book mark.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?

Id love to be one of those strip lights they put under objects and shelves in clubs. You cant see me but Id give everything a warm glow and feel good vibe

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?

after seeing my brother bounced of the bonnet of a high moving van Id have to say this is not a good thing to do. He was caught by surprise and wasnt tensed up, amazingly nothing was broken so he's fine.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?

I love dancin to dance music, you can do what ya like and just bouce up and down with dozens if not hundreds of other happy bouncy people. Yaaayy whoohooo Get down and boogey!! Nothing like the yell of lots and lots of people when a track comes on and theres this group recognition of joy and yells of "I LOVE this Track!"
Think of the moment when a gang of you hear that Duuunn.. dun dun Duuuuuun before 'Jump Around'

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

02:35 / 23.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.

Boring old army surplus combats. Black. My favourite trousers used to be some wicked leather ones I had, but they're just fucked now.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?

I don't subscribe to any, but I read the New Statesman, PC Zone, Fortean Times, sometimes Interzone... and occasionally Volks World (yes, I know...) I usually drop the cards on my bedroom floor so I can slip on them amusingly later.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?

A plasma ball.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?

Again, I think I'm getting a little old and not as sprightly as once I was. As for others, it all depends whether I'm driving.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?

I prefer both and neither- or to put it another way, if I was dancing either, you wouldn't know which it was. In fact, you may even call an ambulance or something.

02:59 / 23.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.
I have an old well worn pair of black Levis...damn comfortable.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards? The only subscription I ever had was a subscription to Science Digest I received as a Christmas gift. I recycled the inserts.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?Bug Zapper

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others? Bad..real bad. yeah. Pot holes..always trip on the pot holes/

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?Cha Cha...I dont know the mambo.

09:29 / 23.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them. Black ribbed square Muji pants. Lovely.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards? Not a subscriber, but a regular purchaser of Runners World. Which is probably the worst thing I've ever revealed about myself here.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be? A Belisha Beacon.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others? I feel deeply concerned for all involved.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason? I know little of these dances, but would pick cha cha because it is pleasing to say these two little words.

10:14 / 23.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.
Annoyingly, I don't have one. Whatever pair of jeans fits/is clean, really. Must go shopping. Oh! Hang on, I bought some green combatty things the other day that are pretty good, but too big and prone to revealing more than I want to reveal.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?
Only cycling mags that I get through London Cycle Club and Sustrans. I read all the insets and then chuck them in the bin. I keep meaning to subscribe to Wired or New Scientist or something but the price always seems too daunting.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?
A candle with ferns pressed into the outside.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?
Err, well, um...playing in traffic is foolish, children.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?
Can I have a polka instead? I actually have no idea what any of these mean, so i'll just stay sitting over by the bar, thanks.

11:35 / 23.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.

Ancient blue jeans. Unsurprisingly. Apart from one pair of hipster flares, I don't really own anything else.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?

Careless Talk Cost Lives. Am also an irregular reader of the Wire, Terrorizer, Sight & Sound and the Guardian. Such respectable publications tend not to come with little insert cards.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?

A really grimy green tinted bulb just hanging from a gomemade socket emerging from a hole in the ceiling. With a completely crazy-ass oriental, psychedelic lampshade attached to it with string and sticky tape.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?

I don't really undertand this.. playing in the traffic of others? you what? Probably "badly", since I don't drive a car and always run across roads for fear of getting hit.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?

I don't like either of them. Not my scene.

12:37 / 23.06.03

1. Trousers

Currently a pair of dark-ish blue jeans from Top Man. Cost me 35 quid for 2 pairs, which is splashing out for me - I wouldn't normally spend more than 15 quid on a pair of jeans. Anything over 20 quid should be made of solid gold, come with a free horse and enable the wearer to travel backwards and forwards in time. These are just the right shade of blue, and just the right degree of fading etc. Slightly too wide for me, so I have to belt 'em, and slightly too long, so I have to turn 'em up, but I'd have had to have been an ant to fit into the other available size. Why oh why oh why do they only make trousers for ants, elephants and giraffes?

2. Mags

If I could afford to sub I would have 'The Idler' and 'Railway Modeller'. The latter cheifly because my son is bang into trains and goes nuts over all the pics, but also because I've got a thing for the sort of highly detailed miniature worlds they feature. I couldn't be arsed to actually make anything like that myself (or if I did it would probably be a Kim Adams type affair), so I'm very glad there are people who do. It's f***ing art, that's what it is. Or drugs; looking at that sort of thing has the same sort of effect on me that heroin has on other people.

3. Lighting

4. Traffic

I'll be playing with Xoc, chucking bricks through windscreens. Cars should only be allowed under ground.

5. Cha Cha Cha or Mambo

I don't know how either of them works, but the mambo sounds like it involves more arse and less fiddly footwork than the Cha Cha Cha, so I'll go for that one.

.

13:05 / 23.06.03

Trousers.

I'm convinced that I own absolutely the best pair of trousers in the world. They're made by Triple 5 Soul (and I've just noticed they've got EL P on their website, bonus karma for that), are light grey and have 11, yes eleven, pockets. Said pockets are:

- 2 button down pockets on the rear arse section,
- 2 pockets on the front in the usual place, one of which contains another zip pocket inside,
- 1 small pocket under the belt loop on the front,
- 2 pockets contained under horizontal zips just above the knees (like combat pockets, but concealed inside the trouser leg),
- 2 big pockets under vertical zips that run down the side of the leg (these open up to reveal a mesh section that lets fresh air in to the interior of the trousers, ventilating one's legs nicely),
- And one very *discrete* small zip pocket on the back of one leg, just above one's ankle.

Plus there are loads of other fun things, like a keyring hook, tags, drawstrings, and mysterious straps on the inside leg that may or may not enable one to turn them into shorts.

Tryphena Absent

14:01 / 23.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.

They're pretty typical smart, black and nicely cut with loads of little silvery, shimmery bits. I like to dance in them and actually they're the only trousers I own that I actually like.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?

I don't but if I had the money it would probably be Vogue. It's the only magazine that keeps you up to date with fashion, contrary to popular opinion the adverts are very important because they give you a context behind the style of the clothes and I enjoy the style of writing employed in the interviews.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?

I wanted to be a floor lamp in the style of Art Nouveau but I'm beginning to wonder if they exist having tried and failed to find a photo of one.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?

Nervous.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?

The Cha Chaing Bear... dances, sings and is yellow and singing the song really winds people up.

14:15 / 23.06.03

1. I just bought my favourite pair of pants today (actually my favourite pair of pants is always the most recently purchased, I'm fickle like that) They're light camouflage combats.
2.I used to subscribe to Essential X-men but after AOA I gave up. I prefer the slow burn stories rather than just "fight of the week" comics so I just pick up new or whatever takes my fancy at the time.
3.I'd be one of those pulsating annoying epilepsy enducing lights at raves.... (they always seem like a good idea at the time but eventually you just get a headache and have to turn them off)
Either that or one of those energy saving bulbs (just cause I like the design)
4.Well I fully advocate playing in traffic jams nothing beats a game of pictionary/charades with the car beside you....umm no not really.
5.couldn't tell.

14:20 / 23.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.
Pair of tan linen loose-fit pants bought a few years ago in Budapest during the most rock-shattering heatwave the city had had in years. I very rarely wear them (get self-concious outside of dark colours

), but they really are damned comfy and rather schlick and schmoove.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?
I don't. Occasionally pick up Computer Arts or New Scientist. Went on an Economist/Newsweek buzz there for most of last year (they're good airport reading). I make little paper soldiers for my army of the future from the cards.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?
A strip of plain white fairy lights. I have a rope of them over my headboard and they really are very pretty.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?
I can think of a few people that I'd really enjoy seeing playing in traffic right about now.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?
Dance Bear Dance

14:32 / 23.06.03

... or one of those Hollywood starlet lightbulb mirrors. They're just so... classy!

14:50 / 23.06.03

1. What’s your favorite pair of pants/trousers/slacks (owned and worn by you)? Please describe them.

These dark green suede trousers I have. They are too big now, and have always been far far too long (and because they're suede, I cannot take them up) but I love them anyway, even though I hardly ever wear them. I know suede trousers sound really dodgy, but honestly these aren't.

2. What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you do with the little insert cards?

I don't subscribe, but I do always buy Private Eye - which doesn't really have any little insert cards. If I do buy a crap magazine for whatever reason, the cards go in the bin/recycling.

3. If you were a type of lighting fixture or other lighting implement, what sort would you be?

Bengal matches.

4. How do you feel about playing in traffic? How do you feel about the playing in traffic of others?

A) queasy and b) daft. I even prefer to cross roads at crossings, on the whole.

5. Do you prefer the cha cha or the mambo, if in fact you have a preference? For what reason?

I haven't really got a clue what either of them looks like, let alone what you have to do to dance them. I doubt I'd have the co-ordination anyway. So on the whole I prefer slightly embarrassed shuffling for five minutes, and then going and sitting in the corner.