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The other week, our accounts guy who works at the desk next to me, showed me an invoice for a consultant who got flown in from Canada. AUD 15k per week. That's about 860 pounds a day. I don't even know what someone could do to deserve that sort of money.
Perhaps a joke to lighten the mood.
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver,a young
man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out
the window and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you
have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it
to his cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up
a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which
he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an
ultra-high-resolution photo. They young man then opens the digital photo in
Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg,
Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the
image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of
complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he
prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP
LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says, "You have
exactly 1586 sheep."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." says the
shepherd.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as
the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a consultant." says the shepherd.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the shepherd. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew; to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my
business
" ... Now give me back my dog." |
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