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Travelling sounds like a good way to go. When I was younger, I too was introverted and indecisive but just knew there was a "me" in there bursting to engage, if I only knew how. I would analyse it all for hours and diagnose precisely the nature of my difficulties but hadn't a clue as to the practical steps I could take to begin to realise some of the potential I thought I had.
One problem was that I was a bit obsessed with my own part in all of this. It was my problem and it was undoubtedly up to me to fix it but I couldn't do it alone. I needed to interact with other people and think about my own agenda a bit less, for one thing.
So, I needed to be bumped out of my comfort zone. The only way I could see to do this was to throw myself into new situations and to engage with other people who presented themselves, whether or not they seemed like the kind of people I'd have envisaged spending a lot of time with beforehand.
Travelling, alone, certainly helped me to be less introverted. I had to meet new people and learn better social skills. Paradoxically, this helped me to build a more robust sense of self and acquire a lot more confidence.
I moved to a big town, I explored a new social scene (one person leads to another etc.), I latched onto some mentors (people who seemed to be further along the road to self-fulfilment than me), and I scanned the horizon frequently to do a reality check and remind myself that the real world is full of happy accident, failed endeavours, false gods, bogus promise, and unplanned opportunities which open those new doors you mention. And it's all good. Even the time that seems to be wasted teaches you stuff.
But the main thing I learned was that being open to change is always at the heart of it. As time passes and your experience increases, I think it gets easier in some ways but you never get all that time back, so don't spend too much of it coming up with grand schemes.
I have known a few driven people who had a very clear direction to their lives from the word go. One of my oldest friends was one and he lives in a mansion in the sun now, retired at forty. I have to say I wouldn't swap with any of those driven /directed types because I don't think any of them has had the fun I've had.
You sound like you're buzzing with ideas and energy. The outlets you seek will come to you, as long as you keep one eye open for them. |
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