Oh Hattie! What an awful thing for you, your friend and their community.
For your friend I suspect the most important thing for you to do is to be there (providing tea, food and hugs) and to listen non judgementally. Listen to her cry and rant and rage (yep, gonna be heaps of anger in this situation) and celebrate and remember and laugh and at times she will feel absolutely nothing at all. At these times just reassure her that this is perfectly normal and that she isn't being disrespectful or unfeeling or cruel or uncaring, the body/mind just has to take a break sometimes. She will start feeling again when she is able.
Also keep reminding her that there is no timetable for her to process this experience. She will grieve for as long or as short as it takes, or maybe even in bursts. But there is absolutely no right or wrong way to grieve, no matter what anyone else says. Just being there being supportive and loving will be enough for now, and remind her when she has doubts that she can and will survive this.
Also remember that you need to take care of you during all of this. You can't be supportive of her if you haven't slept, eaten, paid the bills, spoken to other people and addressed/expressed your own grief for the person.
I have had a number of friends pass this way and also been the supporter for a number of people whose partners/family members/best friends have left this way. So if you would like to talk about this some more or even just have someone listen to you, please feel free to PM me. I have no easy answers or solutions just a bit more experience in this than a person would ever want in their life. |
