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"I guess my point is that if you are NOT wearing a DK shirt, you still may be like that first example, but the shirt is a fairly good indicator that you are."
I don’t entirely agree. I know that you *can* judge people on the basis of their appearance, and I know it is an indicator of other stuff people are into (I mean, I aint no fool; I wouldn’t invite someone with swastika tattoos and a National Front T-shirt back to mine for a spliff). But I think I was trying to suggest that judging people in this way is a pretty *weak* indicator of worth in the long run, that’s all. We all do it, I’m just wondering if it’s really a decent basis for community, as such.
I wrote:
"In my experence, I have eventually been forced to opt out...."
Toksik wrote:
"i keep hearing that from folks. i have yet to encounter it, save for a few times. those few times were funny, and not in any way threatening. are you sure the problem attitude is theirs?"
Not at all. In fact, the problem obviously *is* mine. I’m the one who opts out, but only because I find the whole scene unsatisfactory. I just find it all so terribly disappointing when any group of people that profess to be open-minded, tolerant and ‘cutting edge’ turn out to be anything but. The ‘more-alternative-than-thou’ attitudes i’m talking about are a product of people being too caught up with the surface and relying upon it too heavily.
There’s just the worry that you’ll waste lots of time on individuals that you *assumed* were worthwhile and turned out not to be, and conversely, that you’ll miss out on lots of possible friendships with people that you *could* have been friends with (but never made the effort because they didn’t match your criteria). Given that this is prone to happen, doesn’t it seem like we should just bypass the pre-judging altogether? Or at least, as much as we can.
Also, I think the same goes equally well for new experiences.
"well, i wonder if the mindset of Goth is really about accepting difference, and not about revelling in the darker side of humanity."
Touche. Although, again, even this ‘revelling in darkness’ shit is one of those pre-packed attitudes that many goths seem to wear on their sleeves, as it were. I’ve met plenty of cutesy-pie goths who wouldn’t know the darker side of humanity if it was dangling it’s big, hairy balls in their face.
"i choose people on no such basis. i merely noticed recently that most of my friends are on a similar level in terms of looks, brains, sense of humour, and music tastes. i assume you were thinking i did chose like that?"
Fair enough, it wasn’t my intention to offend because I singled out your point. I just thought that, since we were talking about community, there should be some sort of higher criterion of judgment at work. I agree with your point that it’s a great thing about living today that ‘community’ is so open and malleable – just what is it that makes a community, online or otherwise?
The idea that it's our sameness that unites us is just plain wrong. The real meaning of the word ‘unity’ is not homogeneity, it’s more strictly translated as ‘the acceptance of diversity, harmony’.
Thoughts, rants, replies and derisory snorts please.
Sunny Jim |
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