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Revealing your dirty little secret to those you care about

17:14 / 30.05.03

So I'm interested in this girl, and as cool and open minded as she is, I'm not looking forward to explaining my little hobby to her. Eventually she's going to notice the general feel of the books on my bookshelf and will more than likely have a few questions for me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all ashamed of what I do. Not studying or practicing magick is not really an option for me. It's not like I can make myself not see all the crap you learn to see when you study this shit. What I fear most, really, is seeing on her face that look of "is he for real? He can't be serious" when I explain what A Practical Guide to Qabbalistic Symbolism and Liber Kaos are all about. I hate that look. Most of the time I see it on people I don't particularly care about, so it's not really a problem, but it would suck sour frog ass if she were freaked out by it.

What, exactly, is the easiest way to approach this discussion?

penitentvandal

17:35 / 30.05.03

'So, uh, y'wanna get naked and invoke Pan tonight, baby?'

Hmmm. I've revealed the truth to a lot of people in my personal life at this stage, including at least one ex-girlfriend, and it isn't that big a deal.

The thing you have to think about is this: if she really cares about you, she'll accept you, wyrd magickal habits and all. She might even fancy trying 'em out herself. And if she doesn't - well, it'll suck ass, but in the end, if magick's really important to you (and I suspect it is), then you're better off without her, really.

Or why not make like Batman - keep it a secret for ages, then have her dump you when she discovers it, leading to a stirring shot of you standing heroically atop a building/swinging majestically through the night sky/walking through the gardens of EE Manor in the first rays of the morning sun?

Eskay Uno

18:40 / 30.05.03

In my experience, it's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. If you act like it's some crazy weird shit that will creep her out, well, that's how she's likely to see it. Enthusiasm is contagious, but paranoid secrecy is a turn off (for most).

FatherDog

18:55 / 30.05.03

Anytime anyone asks me what any of the books on my shelves are about, I offer to loan it to them.

I expect that that works just as well for this kind of thing.

Perfect Tommy

19:36 / 30.05.03

I talk about the core ideas of chaos magic (well, the ideas *I* find to be core) about how beliefs can be chosen and discarded based on usefulness. So, reading tea leaves or making decisions (which turn out to be lucky) based on what the city buses "tell" you is really just a way of allowing you to maximize the effects of random chance and your subconscious on your life. "Objective validity" is not important; results are.

Then, after that speech, I have a vampire jump out of my closet behind her and I stake it and it explodes into a cloud of dust!

The Natural Way

20:23 / 30.05.03

If she's an open minded, intelligent individual you might even find that she gets in on the thing herself.

I'm a celeb's last girlfriend (before the more recent one) used to dig on the magic shit. She loved her Tarot cards.

cusm

21:45 / 30.05.03

I simply don't make a big deal of it. Yea, I'm into magick, religion, and spirituality of all sorts. I'm a big geek that way. If they want to know more, then an interesting conversation can arise where in I explain some of the mechanics of what I do in plain terms as though it were perfectly reasonable and natural a thing, and that I am not crazy so much as simply educated in these matters (though some folks do go a bit off the end with this stuff, I admidt.) If not, I deliver it as though it is no more shocking an area of study than butterfly collection, and let the conversation move on as it will. If theywant to know more, they'll eventually find out just how off the end I really am

But overall, casuality goes a long way to making this easier.

Salamander

05:48 / 31.05.03

Some think I'm insane, some think I'm gay, (still trying to figure out that one...) some think I'm stupid and waisting my time, some think I'm some sort of big daddy wise man (feh), It depends, I guess on the person, and yeah, invoking pan was a way I got this girl I'm seeing now, hehehe, so why not be strait out forward about it, get it out of the way now, before you really feel something for her...

penitentvandal

08:57 / 31.05.03

I'm actually really down on that whole 'secretive' approach to magic anyway - I think it's basically an adolescent trait, and we're all much more grown-up than that, so why keep up the front? Tell the truth and shame the Quimpers, that's what I say...

23:46 / 31.05.03

Tell her getting naked with pan can be quite an intense sexual experiance.

Bring the sticks...

Less searchable M0rd4nt

08:16 / 01.06.03

I'm with the honesty thing. You really shouldn't hide something like this from someone if they're going to be part of your life.

No advice really, except that you should try and broach the subject as naturally as possible; sort of work it into the conversation, rather than making an issue of it

Mike

13:51 / 01.06.03

Act like a freak and thats how she'll see you.
Obsess about magick and thats how she'll see you.
Just be yourself and thats how she'll see you.
I've never met a girl who found magick a turn off, but I've met a few who don't take the ideas seriously, so at worst she'll take the piss.
I don't think its likely to scare her off unless you make a big deal out of it.

Mike

13:53 / 01.06.03

Of course, bringing tantra / sex magick into it could be an interesting way of broaching the subject...

Less searchable M0rd4nt

14:39 / 01.06.03

"Hold on, darling-- mind if I paint us both blue and tape this little sigil to your forehead? Ace."

Salamander

04:36 / 02.06.03

Dude I agree with the rest be honest and up front about it. Go ahead and come out of the closet (snicker), you'll feel better and the anticipation of the confrontation has got to be a killer, go ahead and get it over with, IMHO it will be a load of your chest. Try the tantra angle, kinky sex always turns girls on, well... most always.

Quantum

08:02 / 02.06.03

"Could you please pass the salt...TO A CRAZED OCCULTIST ATTEMPTING TO INVOKE THE POWER OF PAN!"

Seriously, anyone worth getting into will be cool enough to take it, surely? If they're freaked out by odd hobbies odds are they're not your type.

Is this more of a problem in the US than the UK? There seems to be more pressure to conform to the norm there, is that true?

Quantum

08:04 / 02.06.03

...and have you considered what her little hobby might be? It's always possible she's weirder than you think and is scared to tell you in case you freak out...

We're The Great Old Ones Now

08:08 / 02.06.03

Give her a copy of 'Illuminatus' and sit back and watch. If she turns purple and denounces Robert Anton Wilson as Satan, you may have a problem. If she looks at you pityingly and says "What is the inner meaning of 'Mother Goose'?", you're out of your league. Whatever, RAW introduces the concept in a cool, drug-crazed, sexy way rather than a stuttering, candle-wax-on-my-shoes way.

Nietzsch E. Coyote

20:23 / 02.06.03

I was thinking the same thing, except that I was thinking that Masks of the Illuminati was, perhaps, a better choice.

Who's your Tzaddi?

21:22 / 02.06.03

True Story

After a long search, we were finally able to get a decent babysitter that lives in the neighbourhood - for a reasonable price

- for our wee little evil one. Two weeks ago, she dropped the child off at our apartment and while she was there, she borrowed the phone. She was on the phone to her husband and while talking, she picked up my copy of Nightside of Eden by Kenneth Grant. Flipping through the "artwork", she stared for a moment, her mouth opened, her hands trembled and she threw the book back into the shelf.

We haven't seen her since.

Choose ye wisely.

louisemichel

15:51 / 03.06.03

It's strange nobody invoked the "Know, Will, Keep Silent" moto...
I've got a lot of funky books on my shelf, it's strange how most people seem not to see the books... even with title with crowley, sex magick or voudon gnostic in it...

illmatic

16:32 / 03.06.03

I end up keeping quiet to a lot of people I know, actually. This is not out of fear of being burnt at the stake or whatever, it's just 'cos I can't be bothered explaining myself to people. Why should they be interested in my mad ravings? This isn't soemthing I do with anyone close, those nearest and dearest might often catch an excitable earbashing.

Though, I also think it's important to be able to chat to people about so-called normal stuff, politics (not that that's fucking normal), football, the weather, whatever, just relating to people and their day-to-days, just ot avoid disappearing up your own abyss, and becoming an member of the Nietchzean occult uber-elite. Which normally means not getting invited to many parties.

penitentvandal

09:05 / 05.06.03

I think we've misinterpreted that 'Know, Dare, Will, Keep Silent' thing, you know. Possibly as a result of the use of taking the last bit very seriously indeed during the Inquisition. I think it's really just a set of instructions for individual works of magic:

Know your intent.
Dare to create a spell for that intent.
Will the spell into effect.
Keep silent about the spell to yourself and others, to avoid the dreaded, 'lust of result' phenomenon.

I think that makes a lot more sense than pretending like we're Clark Kent or something.

louisemichel

09:30 / 05.06.03

exactly what I meant.
"lust of result" phenomenon and "lots of deny from the people around you" which tend to weaken the Will, even if you feel you're strong enough to resist.

Quantum

10:44 / 05.06.03

I tend to give people a watered down explanation if they ask, which means they either don't ask again and think I'm a weirdo or they say 'Dude! I've been looking for someone who can help with my gematria!'
It's kinda like hazing my friends I guess.

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