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"I'd like to take you outside and shoot you".

 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
18:53 / 26.05.03


Just have the decency to come quietly, lad.
 
 
Ariadne
19:00 / 26.05.03
I don't understand. You want to shoot Terry Wogan, or Terry wants to shoot someone else?
I like Terry Wogan. It hits you in your thirties, like grey hairs and nice Saturday nights in.
 
 
Dances with Gophers
19:02 / 26.05.03
Hasn't he been punished enough! I mean getting sentanced to life presenting the Eurovision song contest must be punishment enough! Even I've forgiven him for the floral song!
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
19:38 / 26.05.03
I believe that Flyboy is referring to Terry's expressed desire to take out and shoot the male Latvian host of Eurovision. He also commented of Slovenia's failure to award the UK a single point that we woudl have to send a gunboat. I have so much more respect for him right now than ever before.
 
 
Olulabelle
19:48 / 26.05.03
Don't feel sorry for our Tez, he once said he loved commentating on the Eurovision more than any of his other jobs, because of it's risiblity.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
20:37 / 26.05.03
He can be deeply annoying but he made me laugh several times during the EuroVitriol Song Conflict the other night. I quite liked the idea that all these people were assembling in their thousands on the chilly streets of Baltic capitals because they cared so much, while old Tezza was pissing himself at how pointless and frivolous it all was. His irreverence was highly entertaining. His annual EuroVengeance stint is the only time he appeals, however.

But Britain's first nul points! Outstanding! Historic! Perhaps we could go further along that path of emulating the Norwegians, admirable folk.
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
21:01 / 26.05.03
Could we please stop referring to him as Tez. Please?
 
 
Baz Auckland
03:22 / 27.05.03
Have other countries gotten zero before? Or was this a spectacular failure?
 
 
Olulabelle
06:20 / 27.05.03
I just went and began a search on google for you, and then I realised what I was doing so I stopped. I think I need to get out more.

I believe I recall hearing Norwege, nul pwa once.
 
 
Smoothly
08:07 / 27.05.03
More than you'd think Baz (well, more than I thunk, anyway). From the Guardian...


· Norway are, of course, the nul points champions. The most notorious of their four nul-pointers is Jahn Teigen, who in 1978 performed a song called Mile After Mile. His routine included doing the splits in mid-air while snapping his braces. Teigen called his Eurovision failure "the proudest moment of my life" and anticipated it would make him a star. It did not and he now owns a brewery

· The nul point pioneer was Fud Leclercq, representing Belgium in 1962, with a ditty called Your Name

· Finland has notched a hat-trick of no scores over the years. In 1982 Kojo performed a song protesting about the building of a nuclear power station while hitting himself over the head. Nobody voted for him

· In 1983 Spain's Remedios Amaya performed bare-footed à la Sandie Shaw. In contrast to Shaw who won in 1967 with Puppet on a String he failed to trouble the scorers

· In 1994 Lithunania's Lopsine Mylimai failed to pick up a point. The Guardian's reviewer said he had "the smallish, gruff voice popularised by Phil Mitchell in EastEnders"

· Portugal have twice scored nul points, most recently in 1997 when singer Alma Lusa was backed by male dancers in sinister wrap-around sunglasses and Mao-style collars

· In 1998 there was a stark contrast between the Israeli winner, the transsexual Dana International, and the Swiss entry, Gunvor Guggisberg, a middle-class tap-dancing champion. Guggisberg left with nul points

· Germany was thought to have a nul point cert in Guildo Horn, a flamboyant caped warbler five years ago. But after a campaign led by a DJ, Germans flocked into neighbouring countries to get round the rule forbidding viewers from voting for their country's own entry. He came in a creditable seventh.
 
 
_pin
08:23 / 27.05.03
The fuck?? How many Germans had to leave the country to make him come seventh??

That's a lot of Germans. Don't they have something better to do??
 
 
rizla mission
10:21 / 27.05.03
How come all the above 0 scorers sound really entertaining, whereas the one's that win .. never do?

An odd, odd business.

Needless to say, after spending 20 years taking absolutely no interest in this contest whatsoever, I got completely hooked on the one this weekend and watched the whole thing. What an absolute laff-riot! To think I've been missing out all these years!

And Wogan's voiceover was a hoot - the way his presence was completely unnecessary to the programme and he kept saying the most inappropriate things at the the most unexpected times - it was like watching a normal trash TV show with a DVD commentary from a grumpy, drunken old man - "can't believe they're voting for that twerp in the beret!", "oh, get on with it!" etc.
 
 
Jub
09:47 / 29.05.03
The first words Terry said after Turkey eventually winning was (and this is my favourite): "I am going to Istanbul".

Love it. That's all he cares about, he knows we only like the Eurovision because of him and so fair play really.

Oh and when the credits were rolling he said something like: well, not who I would've picked but that just goes to show how much I know about European music.
 
  
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