BARBELITH underground
 

Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.


Underground > Conversation >

"I can make any woman mine, cuz I look good in leather"

  
 
Jack Denfeld
02:00 / 24.05.03
I so know you either aren't going to get this, or you're simply going to dismiss it with a two word reply, but I'm gonna try to explain anyway. You call me weird alot but I don't think you realize that you can be weird about certain things too. The last month or so I thought you were either crabby or stressed, but lately I've realized it might be more than that. I think you've been annoyed with me lately. You no longer think I'm funny, and you no longer laugh when I make a joke. Again, I thought you just might have been stressed or crabby lately, but you still laugh at other people's jokes, and when someone starts acting like a goofball you laugh your ass off, where as lately if I acted like that you'd just call me a weirdo or stupid. And you wouldn't say it while laughing, but while having a really annoyed look on your face. Also whenever I think there might even be a possibility that you were upset about something or feeling sad, I've always tried to be the first person to email you about how great you were, or boost your confidance (like when you were sure you weren't going to get that promotion and I would tell you everyday that you were more than able and qualified to do it), or even call you (and I don't even use the phone alot but last night when you told me you broke up with SIR MILES, I was on the phone right away just in case you were upset, so you would know I was there for you). But lately if I'm in a bad mood, you don't really care why. It's just "crabby-ass" this and "poo-poo baby" that. Honestly, the last couple of weeks it seems you've just been waiting for me to slip one negative comment so you could jump on me about being crabby. And I just feel that lately I've just become your annoying friend. Like you don't necessarily want to be friends, but at the same time I haven't really done anything terrible to you, so you just kinda keep me around. And this is in no way a criticism of you, it's just the way I feel you've been acting around me. If you are annoyed with me, there's really nothing to be mad at you about, it's just the way you feel. Maybe you just want some time off from me, maybe now that you're single you just wanna do your own thing for awhile, maybe you just don't like me as much as you used to. I don't know. You can think I'm a dumbass, or retard, or whatever else for writing this, but all I ask is that you actually read it and try to understand where I'm coming from. As dumb as you think I'm being, I really have thought about these things lately. I still love you- Jack
 
 
Jack Denfeld
03:53 / 24.05.03
AND THE MUCH ANTICIPATED RESPONSE:

If I stop acting like a baby everything'll be fine.

I may not realize it but I act like her brother and just try to start shit with her all day.

My mood changes are so weird she doesn't know what the hell my problem is.

I shouldn't FUCKING HANG UP ON HER. (i think she was trying to make a point with the big letters)

I'm acting weird, and not like I'm a weirdo, but just different than I used to act.

She is going to sleep and we can discuss this later.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
11:32 / 24.05.03
Ummm... not really sure what advice to give here. (Having just read what I'm about to post, and scrolled back up, I realise I should point out that I'm not trying to be patronising or callous. I've been in the same situation, and these are just dispassionate questions and stuff that are intended as help. )

Do you know her brother? Is there something about him that particularly pisses her off, and are you reminding her of him in that way?

How did you used to act? Is there anything you're aware of doing now that's new?

Other than in her relations with you, has she changed? Anything to explain a shift in attitude?

Are you very close? Has it got to a point where you're "taken for granted"? (By which I don't mean that she doesn't care about you, just that she assumes you'll be cool with this treatment because you haven't previously complained?)

AND- here's the biggy. Think about yourself. Do YOU still want to be friends with HER, even if she's acting like this? (Personally, I always take the yes option on that one, but I understand that I may be wrong.)

Sorry if none of that's any help. Good luck.
 
 
Foust is SO authentic
12:08 / 24.05.03
Ooooh, the weird friend that only gets kept around 'cause they haven't done anything horrible. I know exactly how you feel. If I had any advice, I'd use it myself right now.
 
 
Char Aina
16:23 / 25.05.03
it can be hard to assess yourself prooperly, to know thyself to the point of understanding why others are drawn to you(or not).


i wouldnt worry about that shit if it can be helped, as asking folks why they dont hate you can get very trying very quickly for the askee.

nothing for jack though, sorry.
 
 
Jack Denfeld
17:56 / 25.05.03
ANSWERS TO THE CHAIRMAN"S QUESTIONS

1. I know her brother. I think she was just saying that I pick on her too much, but really, I'm just playing.

2. I used to act like I act now. I don't see a big difference. Well. I guess I kinda act like her jealous boyfriend once in awhile. Shit.

3. Many changes for her. A promotion which has stressed her out, with loads of responsibility. Broke up with her boyfriend of a year around the same time.

4. We were extremely close. And I do believe she takes me for granted now. He's already my best friend, I don't have to try as hard, and that sort of thing.

And I've decided to still be friends with her. It's either be friends with her knowing that she just acts like that, or not. So I choose to be friends until we just aren't.
 
  
Add Your Reply