Indeed. Let's face it, if a kid doesn't mind supplying a cup of his/her own piss, on demand at random intervals, just to play basketball, then that kid's gonna piss for any authority figure who demands it.
"Want to keep your job? Piss here, please. Would you like a driver's license? Here's the cup, bathroom's down the hall on the right. Bruno here will accompany you so he can stare intently at your genitals as you urinate. We can't be too careful, you know. Say, do you need food stamps? We have to chemically examine your pee, just routine procedure. You don't have anything to hide, do you?"
Let's not forget that these tests aren't particularly accurate. Most are about 90-95% accurate, if memory serves. Even a hardcore straight-edger could produce a false positive, but a bigger problem (from the tester's POV, anyway) lies with positives caused by legal foodstuff, like poppy seeds or hemp-oil. If memory serves again, the U.S. military solved that little problem by prohibiting the foods that caused the false positives, which is just the sort of bass-ackwards thing us Americans have come to expect from our gov't. This solution wouldn't work in schools, however... most likely a school will just pretend false positives don't happen. Hopefully there's a high school student or parent here who can elaborate on the actual process.
Chances are that many kids avoid the whole testing issue the same way I did, by simply not participating in extra-curriculars.
Here's another thought: don't all these "hyperactive" kids test positive for amphetamines? Ritalin and Adderol and the like are just fancy names for speed, after all. Of course, a school would know if a kid was prescribed to ritalin, so they'd allow that kid on the forensics team despite his/her daily amphetamine use.
Meanwhile, the kid who ate a poppy-seed bagel is offered a choice: enroll in an expensive, mind-rotting "treatment" program, or get expelled! Ah well, some sacrifices must be made to ensure that the marching band isn't smoking devil weed in their spare time.
Granted, the above scenario may only happen rarely, but that's still more than enough to make me sick! Beside that, forcing anyone to piss in a cup is simply degrading... like thay say, it's what's inside that counts - what's inside your bladder, that is... |
