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Badgers. And the madness thereof.

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STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:56 / 13.05.03

Just got this text message from a friend: "IS THIS TRUE? HAS 1 OF 'THOSE WHOM NEVER LET GO' PRE-EMPTED THE LONG SUNG OF 'BAJA-KIRI', WHEN THOSE STRIPED OF BACK SHALL WALK PROUD,& FUCKED US ALL UP?"

Of course, I had to phone him to find out what the fuck he was on about. "A badger's gone mental!" he said. "He's blown our cover! Check the news!"

So I did, and found
this

And, spookily enough, I'm sitting typing this wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the timeless legend "I POKE BADGERS WITH SPOONS".

23:25 / 13.05.03

This made the TV news a bit earlier today. Had a good laugh when wife of one victim, plum firmly lodged in gob, explained how her husband was innocently looking at the badger when it suddenly bit his arm.

So not only is this the world's first psychotic badger, but also the first one to learn how to jump three feet. Either that or nobody saw Bodger hiding round the corner.

02:27 / 14.05.03

I want that t-shirt!

02:32 / 14.05.03

Worcestershire Badger Society

Dude. Worcestershire has a badger society. And they're good with a crate.

Hattie's Kitchen

08:42 / 14.05.03

Stoatie, you must be so happy right now! Well fuck me sideways if I didn't know there was a National Association of Badger Groups.

10:41 / 14.05.03

Imagine how mad a sackful of those would be.

11:15 / 14.05.03

had someone been poking this badger with a spoon?

(i wuz gonna start this thread myself, not surprised i've been beaten to it though... all eyes are on the badgers, or so it seems...)

12:12 / 14.05.03

The 'May' page of WHSmith's British Wildlife calendar features a lovely photo of a badger. Since reading this thread I swear the bastard is sizing me up.

13:41 / 14.05.03

Poor Boris. That's really sad.

13:56 / 14.05.03

I admit it. I poked it with a spoon.

My friend's mum is in charge of badger protection round here- i imagine that she'll be having fleepies about that one. And the people building houses where the badgers stay will be rubbing their hands with glee.

Blame it on the badgers.

16:12 / 14.05.03

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

17:06 / 14.05.03

Cholister- yes, it is indeed sad how it ended. Why is the solution to animal/human altercations always to kill the animal?

Xoc- ah, the French badger is back. I love the French badger.

21:44 / 14.05.03

But do badgers not eat stoats, ferrets or other small furry things?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

08:29 / 15.05.03

And Baz: check out shocktees.com for the t-shirt. Only cost about a tenner.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:56 / 11.07.07

We have disturbed the honey badgers of Iraq. We are SO fucked right now.

23:12 / 11.07.07

They have ratels in Babylon???

Chaldean honey badgers???

Oh, shit.

23:27 / 11.07.07

What will we do against the might of the badjahadeen?

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

00:30 / 12.07.07

Oh yes, indeed, we are fucked.

08:05 / 12.07.07

Maybe they robbed that bank in Baghdad of 280.000.000 US $?

08:39 / 12.07.07

"honey badgers, a large, sharp-clawed mammal renowned as the world’s most fearless creature."

"Older Baswaris called the beast “the Garta” and scared naughty children with tales of the creature to get them to behave."

My personal fave bit="Few predators. Lions and leopards occasionally kill them but usually keep their distance."

FEAR THEM!

09:06 / 12.07.07

"Prey includes jackals, antelope and foxes, crocodiles and snakes"

09:15 / 12.07.07

Maybe we should make a B-movie about a pack of army-trained badgers released in the streets of Barsa that end up turning against their handlers and have to be stopped by the only safe way: a Nuclear bomb improvised by the last surviving army-person, which I hope will be, fot the lack of better word, a "hot chick". The alpha* badger's name would be, of course, Boris. It could be called FEARLESS SOLDIERS...

* I'm using wolf's terminology here (pack, alpha) due to lack of specific knowledge on badgers.

10:26 / 12.07.07

DM;

Of what signifcance is the 'Hot Chick' with regard to this basically fairly grim scenerio? I don't really mind about this sort of thing personally, and I'm sure you don't either, but you must know by now that other board members might feel differently.

Really, why take the risk, unless the point is to piss everyone off, in which case, you're not trying hard enough.

Then again, why would you? Try, that is, in the first place?

It's not very hard to join Byrne Robotics (and I'd actually be your best interweb pal ever if you did - you could begin by asking why Batman shouldn't be turned into an ashtray, for example) but as much as I find your antics amusing, myself, they do seem to be potentially quite upsetting in a way that could be avoided if the ideas were phrased otherwise, perhaps?

11:02 / 12.07.07

Of what signifcance is the 'Hot Chick' with regard to this basically fairly grim scenerio?

It is only a spoof on Hollywood clichés*. I thought the quotation marks made the irony quite clear (I was thinking of Sigourney Weaver on "Aliens", actually, but I'll bet the producers will demand someone "younger and hipper, more in tune with today's audience" or somethin')

* I should have added "with the help of a likeable, but awkward, computer geek"

We're The Great Old Ones Now

11:12 / 12.07.07

I have to say, while I'm not a big fan of cliché, I don't know that I'd be terribly interested in bad movies if they were full of ordinary-lookin' folks who kept their clothes on. I mean... which bit would be fun?

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

12:18 / 12.07.07

OFF-TOPIC

Right. If one has a problem with the ideas being expressed in a thread that one finds offensive by another poster, please PM that individual about your concerns.

Begin a sensible dialogue about why you are uncomfortable.

This recurring thing of chastising people on said threads about what you dislike what they post derails the threads themselves, or what I fear, is a way of policing what other people say and doing a fair bit of waggling-fingers-in-a-naughty-naughty sort of fashion. It also seems that sometimes people enjoy doing this for the sake of being public about their disapproval.

That being said, I am most definitely not trying to begin an argument with anybody because I feel that's when Barbelith gets ugly and becomes less of a community, and more like mob mentality.

Thank you.

ON-TOPIC

Y'know, I never really thought about badgers too much before, but after reading the thread and Wikipedia entry, I am quite terrified of them. Those suckers really are fearless.

12:36 / 12.07.07

Yeah, I thank God everyday for putting 5 thousand miles plus from their natural habitat, but I have a question: can badgers kick the ass of wolverines? And what about tazmania devils?

Another movie pitch: Small Mammals Death Cage!

12:46 / 12.07.07

can badgers kick the ass of wolverines?

Badgers can spit tuberculosis four miles with pin-point accuaracy. Wolverines have silly haircuts and look like a weasel gone wrong. No contest.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

12:58 / 12.07.07

Choice quote from the article:

“We have not released giant badgers in Basra, and nor have we been collecting eggs and releasing serpents into the Shatt al-Arab river,” said Major David Gell, the British Army spokesman in Basra.

Right. Keep on spreading the disinformation, Major. We believe you.

ONLY NICE THINGS

12:59 / 12.07.07

Kali, telling people what to do, impugning their motives and then telling them that if they respond to you they will be showing "mob mentality" is an unhealthy way of behaving. Grown-ups take accountability for their utterances and invite feedback. If you want to give people instructions about how to behave on Barbelith, start a thread in the Policy and expect people to want to talk to you about the wisdom of the orders you are giving, and whether you are the best person to be giving the instructions.

Speaking personally, I am bang up for people being able to express that they feel uncomfortable with something people are saying on Barbelith, not least because if one person is prepared to speak out about it then it is probably safe to assume that a number of other people are also uncomfortable, and are indeed sufficiently uncomfortable not to feel able to speak up. If you badger (ONTOPIC) people to take it to PMs, they will not be able to see that they are not alone in their discomfort.

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

13:00 / 12.07.07

Here I was afraid of werewolves, but it turns out....hey, wait.

I just had the most terrifying thought.

Were-badgers. WERE. BADGERS.

I'm going to hide under my bed now.

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

13:03 / 12.07.07

Haus, still would prefer a PM regarding this. I already expressed my own opinion--which again, is hopefully as valid as anyone else's on this board, but considering an intermittent nanny-state, may not be--on this and if you have issues with me, I would like it to be done in private.

And no, perhaps I'm not the best person to bring this up, but then I'm not a moderator, am I?

ONLY NICE THINGS

13:14 / 12.07.07

Yes, Kali. "Nanny-state" is another way to denigrate and dismiss views that are not yours without actually addressing them. However, you did not provide an "opinion". You gave an instruction.

If one has a problem with the ideas being expressed in a thread that one finds offensive by another poster, please PM that individual about your concerns.

You then made it clear that if anyone took issue with this, it would be a sign of ugliness and "mob mentality", and now apparently of a nanny state.

I have no issues with you. I have issues with bad argumentation and attempts to shut down discussion. "Issues", incidentally? Another term designed to question the validity of any opposing viewpoint without actually engaging with it.

Now, if you would like to discuss how people should be allowed to respond to speech that is making them uncomfortable, that is if you would like to police their speech, that's fine. It's probably best to open a Policy thread.

If you were merely stating your purely personal opinion and preference, then that's also fine, but next time please try to do so without insulting and dismissing anyone who might feel or behave differently, because this preemptive dismissal is also an attempt to police their speech.

If you feel that you will not be able to do either of these things without inadvertently using terms likely to insult and belittle, then feel free to PM me, and we can iron out your form of words.

13:23 / 12.07.07

If you badger (ONTOPIC) people to take it to PMs

Class. I struggled for a moment with a bad Geri Halliwell pun then thought better of it.

DM- About the only thing a badger can't kill is a car.

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

13:30 / 12.07.07

That we know of.

Think of how many automobiles go missing every year.

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