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The Penis Report

 
 
grant
14:06 / 05.05.03
Two items in New Scientist recently:

Bad news for baboons in Southern Africa.

A "herpes-like" infection is making their genitals... fall right off.

Quote: The disease targets the reproductive organs of the primate. The consequences for male baboons are particularly gruesome, says Elibariki Mtui, of the African Wildlife Foundation in Arusha, Tanzania. "The genitals kind of rot away, then they just drop off," he told New Scientist.

The disease first appeared a month ago and while cases seem to be confined to Lake Manyara National Park in Tanzania, there are fears it will spread from the affected troops of olive baboons to others nearby. "People are really concerned that it could be an epidemic," says Mtui. Wardens at the park confirm that some of the infected males had died.

"If it's sexually transmitted then it could spread," agrees Dee Carey, head veterinarian at the Southwest National Primate Research Centre in San Antonio, Texas. Baboons live in troops of up to 100 animals and although the females stay put within each "family", the males wander between them. But with so little information on the disease, says Carey, it is difficult to evaluate the risks.



If it spreads to the human population, however, (or if philanthropists decide to replace the missing parts of wild baboons), there is hope. Researchers have grown replacement penises, complete with nerve cells.

Quote: The secret to regrowing the nerve cells is mimicking nature, explains Atala. His team began by building millimetre-wide collagen channels. These replicate the sheaths that, like the insulation around a bundle of electrical wires, surround nerves in the body.

The team then cut away the nerve cells in the penises of live rats and sewed the collagen channels to the severed nerve stumps. After three months, functional nerve cells one centimetre long had grown inside the channels.

The physical support from the collagen appeared to be all that was needed to coax the nerve cells into growing. The collagen-supported cells grew just as well as nerves that were grafted on in experiments conducted for comparison.
 
 
Lurid Archive
14:40 / 05.05.03
*wince*
 
 
Char Aina
15:50 / 05.05.03
REPLACEMENT PENIS?!


dear god in hell!
 
 
Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey
17:31 / 06.05.03
Why stop at replacement penises?

Think of the fun to be had with two or even three of the little blighters!!
 
 
Char Aina
00:37 / 07.05.03
grant:
your first link is a barbelith underground link.

i dont know if that was on purpose.
 
 
grant
14:15 / 07.05.03
Yipe! It should be fixed now.
 
 
Salamander
21:11 / 07.05.03
This is scary, what are they doing to isolate the infected population of monkeys, and what if it does spread to humans? The only good side is we would have a population drop, but thats not much of a good side if MY penis has to fall off.
 
 
Warewullf
16:53 / 09.05.03
Yeah, but imagine going into the doctor's office and asking for " a 12 inch cock this time!"

Maybe a little thicker.

Oooh... curvy would be nice!

You could switch your dick to match your moood!
 
 
Fist of Fun
09:57 / 13.05.03
This reminds me of an Eddie Murphy sketch from the 1980's, where he's going on about how first you had siphilis, which you could cure with a jab, then there was Herpes, which you couldn't cure but didn't really do much other than sting a bit, then there was AIDS, which kills you - what next? Your dick explodes?

And then it turns out that he wasn't joking it's all true.

I mean - we all know some diseases can jump species, right?

I think the WHO ought to be paying this a LOT more attention than petty little SARS. So the latter kills a few people - big wow. This makes your genitals drop off! AAARGH!
 
  
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