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I have decided to try my hand at writing a comic script, which is something that I have never done before and only have a mediocre understanding of.
Could I impose upon those with greater experience to criticise my first page.
Cold City V1.1
Plot concerns, to be finalised.
Panels to run 4 down 3 across.
Page 1
First panel to be 2x2 in top left corner.
Scene: current day bedroom in trendyish appt at early morning.
POV is to be a bit lower than midlevel and facing towards the outer wall/window and a bit towards a corner.
The appt is about 15 ft sq and has a floor to ceiling window that is the width of the appt. The window is a panelled affair with the panes being about two foot across and the dividing struts to be about one hand width. The room is reasonably tidy and furnished in Ikea-esque furniture but not too much of it, preferably in light colours. There are cloth blinds that are drawn across nearly half of the window where the bed is.
The bed, being nearly up against the window is a double bed and occupied by two sleeping figures.
On one side is a woman, face up, mostly covered, early thirties moderately attractive (not a main character) She has tattoos that a not contemporary or twee but a mixture of future and tribal.
On the other side is a man, also early thirties, face down and has his arm laying across the chest of the woman so that his hand is resting on the woman’s shoulder. The man is a main character but doesn’t need to be attractive, in fact a little extra weight would suit this character well. He also has tattoos, but of a more contemporary nature. His back has a few fingernail scratches.
This apartment belongs to the woman but doesn’t need a lot of hooks to go with it.
Clothes are on the floor and there is the usual evidence of being a night after drinking, smoking and passion.
Panel 2
Close up on the man’s face lying sideways on pillow. He is asleep with his mouth slightly open, stubble is long – maybe two days as opposed to overnight.
The pillow is soft and as such the man’s face is half obscured, other edge of frame should extend to include the ear.
Panel 3
Same shot but visible eye is half open. Want to indicate that the man is waking up but slowly.
Panel 4
Characters are in same position; POV is over man’s shoulder and can see hand on woman’s shoulder. Hand is moving downwards a little.
Panel 5
Same shot but man’s hand is now cupping woman’s breast with thumb rubbing nipple.
Panel 6
POV is overhead view of bed and should show woman rolling over.
Panel 7
POV is low to the floor looking at the end of the bed. The man is sat on the end, rubbing his face. The woman remains face down and asleep.
Panel 8
POV has moved 45 degrees around the man who is now standing at the foot of the bed getting dressed. The woman hasn’t moved.
Panel 9
POV has moved another 45 degrees and still shows the man getting dressed.
I'm hoping that what I've written will suitable communicate what I'm visualising but allow an artist the latitude to bring their own qualities and style to the end result.
I have a fair amount of the plotline set out so if you are an artist and find this interesting and fancy giving it a shot, I would be greatly honoured. |
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