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Ranting is good for you

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

23:28 / 22.04.03

So, the last few months has not been nice to me.

I was living with a girl i thought i would be with forever, and now im looking for an apartment. 6 or so months back we stopped having sex even semi regularly. now i understand that sex shouldnt be the opnly thing holding a relationship together, and its wasnt, but thats where it started. she told me that she has never enjoyed sex, because it was to much work etc. she also explained that it wasnt sex with ME that she didnt like, but sex in general. i of course, being an insecure guy, assumed that it was me, based partially on my own inexperience but also do to the fact that she had had LOTS of sex before we met.
So, i tried to be a romantic cuddly bf as best as i could, and i think i did a pretty good job of dealing with rare sex.

About 2 months ago a friend of hers from before we met moved back into town, and they started spending a lot of time together. This is a guy who she told me had once proposed to her, so i was a little bothered by it. Then henry rollins came to town for his spoken word, and she and i were going to go, a date if you will. well, the night of the show, about an hour before it started, she decided she was hungry and didnt care if she got a good seat, and chose to go out to eat with this guy, and then go to the show with him. When they arrived together she made no effort to find me. and got seats with him and his friends. over the next week she was out with him until at least 2 am 3 or 4 nights.

The part that bothered me was that she didnt seem to see anything even a little wrong with any of her behavior.

so, we had "the talk" and we are splitting up, which seems like the right thing to do. Problem is we are still living together until the lease is up in a month, and things are really strange.

I'm just really down about the whole situation and needed to babble for a bit, since none of my local friends are good to talk to about anything worthwhile...

Our Lady of The Two Towers

04:05 / 23.04.03

That sucks Elijah. Still, she's either insensitive or at best just assumed that you were on the same page as her with regards to where the relationship was at, so you're probably right about splitting up being for the best. God luck with the appartment hunting though, I think you'll be a lot happier when you're able to put the whole thing behind you.

10:50 / 23.04.03

...and I hope ranting made you feel better. Here's to rants! Best of luck.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:46 / 23.04.03

Ranting's always good. I find it works better if you do it in capitals, though.

I can sympathise... the first serious girlfriend I ever had decided to fuck off with one of my mates after a year or so of us living together... no matter that he treated her like shit and had dumped her within a week, we still had to cope with the living together bit for a few months after that. I hate to say this, but it was fucking horrible. The bright side is, however, she's one of my closest friends now. It took a while, but it is possible. Again, in her case, I think it was insensitivity rather than malice, as Flowers says of yours.
Just hang on in there.

13:00 / 23.04.03

Many huggles, Elijah...

EE

19:43 / 23.04.03

Hmmm. That does suck ass. Poor fella. At least you had the strength of character to get the hell out when you realized it was time to go. That's something to be proud of. And soon the salve of intense anger at her insensitivity with come over you, and the pain will recede slightly.

Tryphena Absent

20:05 / 23.04.03

Oh dear, it sounds like she was doing that thing where someone's too gutless to break up with you. I have a friend who always breaks up with people by manipulating them, rather badly I might add, in to a position where they're the aggressor. It's terribly unfair but on the up side she might have been trying to hold on to what you had until the lease was up. So at least you can congratulate yourself on going out with someone with some sense.

A month isn't too long, just wander round and avoid her a bit until you can get out of there and hopefully you'll find somewhere nice to live next!

20:40 / 23.04.03

gRRRRRRR. Go and take up kickboxing. Then u can rant and kick the hell outta something (hopefully now someONE) at the same time. Love and huggles xx

18:18 / 24.04.03

I'm with gingerbop.

Well, on the someTHING, rather than someONE.