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Woohoo! When I looked at your pictures in the photos thread, I thought how fine you would look at Torture Garden or the Hoist with that Edgar Allan Poe mien. Of course, those clubs are in London, so that will be of no comfort to you at all.
The guys above are right. If you want to dabble in that scene, you need to start accumulating an outfit that will send out just the right singals. Then you can go dip your toe in the water. Early on, I was scared to death, and I still have moments when I struggle to look composed in some new situations but, if it were otherwise, I'd only get bored with it.
I had a boyfriend early on who chaperoned me through the leather /bdsm scene and let me immerse myself at my own speed. You can find some predatory types who will take advantage when you're a fresh face but, IMO, that's rarer on the leather /fetish scene than elsewhere. I'm also glad I got into it when I was younger and effortlessly alluring, although I only see it that way in retrospect. It does make it easier to engineer some situations and expand your experience. That said, there's less ageism in the bdsm /leather world too, so it can be a lifelong hobby, and experience is valued.
I got into some more vanilla relationships and saw less of the leather world for a while but when I was ready to plunge in again, it was still there, bigger and better than before. It's all about being true to yourself and being around people who share feelings and attitudes you don't then need to explain. Particularly when you're new, you can feel you're being appraised or judged but I've found that it's quite the opposite. It seems like there are all these rules and regulations you have to learn but, in fact, there are very few and you can always take it just as far as you're comfortable with. It's about expressing yourself, in some coded ways I grant you, but you're actually playing less of a game and being more upfront, I think, than in most other situations.
But I would say all of that, wouldn't I? I hope you'll have some fun and meet some lovely people, FF. |
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