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Jenny Everywhere in 'Damn Fine Hostile Takeover (Part 1)'

 
  

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Regrettable Juvenilia
11:40 / 15.04.03
Ah, good day to you, gentle Barbelith readers!

Allow me to present Jenny Everywhere a.k.a. The Shifter in 'Damn Fine Hostile Takeover, part the first', a modest tale of caffeine, corporate greed and cyborg ninjas intended only for your moral improvement, with words by your humble narrator and pictorials by N. Evergreen Esq, late of the Sussex Gentlemen's Correctional Facility.

We welcome your good voices, ladies and gentles. Your voices!
 
 
Persephone
12:02 / 15.04.03
Ga-agh-agh-agh-agh.
 
 
sleazenation
12:12 / 15.04.03
Just when i was worried it was all going to go sub-fight club in leap the cyborg ninjas...
 
 
Tamayyurt
12:32 / 15.04.03
The art as always was fantastic. Nelson, you mentioned something about not being able to draw corridors but that was actually my favorite panel. Very 2001: A Space Odyssey. I loved the Smallville Lana look-alike at the coffee shop (was that intentional you called her Lois sooo...?) I loved the Eliza Du.. dream. I loved the corporate villain and Of course I loved the end. That security squad looks gorgeous. Great cliffhanger. Totally unexpected and I don't see how Jenny and friends are getting out so the suspense is so there. I hope part the second is too long in coming cause I want to see more of those cyborg ninjas.

Nice job, guys.
 
 
Sax
12:47 / 15.04.03
Nelson continues to amaze me. Absolutely fantastic artwork. It's a good job we have no money, or we'd have to pay him for this.

And... pretty Fly for a write guy. Nice pacing. Good cliffhanger.

When's part two?
 
 
Hieronymus
13:02 / 15.04.03
*drool* That was incredible, guys!! Must see part 2 or the little kitten gets it.
 
 
Hieronymus
13:11 / 15.04.03
By the by, have all of these been compiled into one site? Is there a place I could point people to that has 'Name Not Down' with 'My Bloody Valentine', etc?
 
 
Warewullf
13:19 / 15.04.03
"Couscous Espresso"
"Somebody save me"

nyuk nyuk


Loved it!
 
 
sleazenation
13:20 / 15.04.03
A Jenny Everywhere site is in the works under the aegis of Queergranny, meanwhile the best place to send people for resouces for all things Everywhere and links to all the strips is the barbelith wiki section on Jenny Everywhere.
 
 
moriarty
15:31 / 15.04.03
"I'll invite my favourite band...Remy Zero!"
"Somebody save me..."

Shameless.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
16:20 / 15.04.03
I know, I know.
 
 
dlotemp
23:26 / 15.04.03
Wow.

Great part 1. It reads very smoothly and ends at a logical cliffhanger.

Excellent and fun dialogue, particularly the piece about charity concerts.

I loved Nelson's sequential narrative. Like the sequence were the villain is grabbed by our heroes and Nelson uses a worm's eye view with exaggerated fisheye lens to end the otherwise sedate page with drama. Also, loved the coffee shop and the seaside scene and have to ask if they are inspired by actual places. I think one of Nelson's virtues is his use of postive and negative space. In the coffee shop and toilet-hanger, you can tell how everything is being directed nicely on the page.

That psycho coffee executive makes Mrs. Zirma look like a geriatric mumu-wearing old lady!
um...
come to think of it...
she was a geriatric mumu-wearing old lady...
but anyway, Great design on that creature!

Whose idea was the opening sequence with the flying 45s?

PS - thanks for the links to Mrs. Zirma and My Bloody Valentine.
 
 
at the scarwash
00:10 / 16.04.03
Yoiks! Damned fine yet again. The Doc Ock tentacles coming out of the mass of cyborg ninjas were mucho sweet, sirs.
 
 
w1rebaby
00:27 / 16.04.03
Glad to know I'm not the only one for whom Starbucks refers Battlestar Galactica.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
11:27 / 16.04.03
Fuck... my... hat. I bow down before the dark majesty of Misters Boy and Evergreen!
 
 
Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!
11:53 / 16.04.03
I like your lettering a lot Nelson. (I like the rest as well, but especially the letters.)
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
12:36 / 16.04.03
Thanks to all. fridgevelvet gets a special prize for spotting the geekiest reference in there (silver *and* bronze to impulsivelad).

dlotemp: Right-On = a parallel universe (and real life nickname for) Brighton, England. Nelson actually lives there (along with various other Lithers - in fact they all live together - in a caravan) and I'm always visiting and love the place (intend to move there at some point in the next few years). Anyway, the image of the seafront as our heroes walk up the beach is a pretty accurate representation of part of Brighton seafront. Meantime, the coffee house was very loosely inspired by the Sanctuary in Brighton when I wrote the script, multiplied to the power of N...

As for the 45s - they were there in the script, as was having the titles on the record on page 2, but I didn't specify for that page exactly how it should all be written, so Mr Evergreen deserves all the credit for stuff like the songwriting credits ('trad. arr.' - genius). And also for crossing out Toploader as it was in the original art, once that unlamented band of tossers split up...
 
 
sleazenation
13:05 / 16.04.03
out the mad starey bloke from name's not down is imortalized in a poster at last...
 
 
yawn - thing's buddy
14:28 / 16.04.03
yeah, not bad this one.

so..............

english.

the first two pages are excellent. both script and art.

really excellent.

the rest is a bit 'press gang' for my tastes.

And if I'm to be honest, the story itself is a bit lazy and simplistic (look, I know it's mean't to be trashy, but the whole 'glocalisation' issue is as stale as a sausage roll in downtown Damascus: but you two chaps got some synchro-shit going down and you're doing it.)

You worth a future shock or two at least!

here, smiley, smiley, smiley!

smiley?

smiley, where are you?

Fuck it Fly and Green: way to go.
 
 
FinderWolf
14:57 / 16.04.03
Terrific work, all around. And the lettering IS terrific -- too often lettering goes unnoticed; it really sets a tone for any comic piece. Great job!!!! I really loved the 45-title page.
 
 
Yotsuba & Benjamin!
16:03 / 16.04.03
Best. Spit. Take. Ever.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:24 / 17.04.03
I'd have been surprised and saddened if some of it didn't piss yawn off, y'know.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
12:14 / 17.04.03
Well, now that Flyboy's arse has been licked soda cracker white, let's pull it to tiny pieces, shall we?
...
Sod it, I can't really complain about anything. Does exactly what it says on the tin, a shopping list of ultra-obscure cult references and sledgehammer subtle satire rendered in gorgeous artwork. I'll wait to see if it all falls apart in the second half...
 
 
The Natural Way
12:24 / 17.04.03
Well, I love you Fly, and there's some good ideas in there (I second the 45!), and it IS well paced....but....

....the sub-tank girl "aren't we all a bit smirking, cool and rrrriot?" really doesn't do anything for me. And the coffee shop thing...and 'Right-On'..... It's just a bit TOO derivative for my tastes. We know these jokes! We know these characters! It just all feels a bit too much like a comic written by "one of our mates."

You can do better!

I've really deliberated over whether or not to post this. I'm not a bastard! Honest! And I know this is just first ish stuff - I'm sure Jenny and Co.'ll get much more interesting a few issues down the line, as they get a bit more....solid.
 
 
The Natural Way
13:55 / 17.04.03
Just want to underline (x n) that I have no probs with 'Hostile Takeover' on a technical level. It's just the subject matter and story that leave me cold.

But I suppose Jenny's just finding her feet, and every character is to some extent composed of cute little WHAM! BAM! intros... I dunno...I just wanted to see something new.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
16:21 / 17.04.03
To be honest, Rance, going on a simple equation of "if you like that, you'll like this", and vice versa, it makes sense to me that you're not so keen on the subject matter. (That's what I meant in the above comment about yawn, too...)

I'd be interested to know what you think it's derivative *of*, though - there are some pretty obvious influences in terms of mood and spirit (Deadline, Kill Your Boyfriend, Jim Mahfood), but a lot of the dialogue is just an exaggerated version of the way people I know *actually talk*. I don't quite get why including people going to a coffee shop is over-familiar, either, but I suspect this is a personal taste thing: some people think there are too many black'n'white indie comics about kids going about their day-to-day life and talking sass (or an exaggerated version of the same). Others feel that there are far too few of these, and far too many comics about men in pants throwing each other across cities. Who's to say?*

Equally, I don't buy yawn's objection to "glocalisation" - pretty sure I've seen him say similar things in relation to, eg, some of Brian Wood's stuff. If you think that No Logo was just a fashion trend, then sure, some of the themes in DFHT are going to seem played-out. But the fact is that even though it's a parody, these kinds of processes (big corporations buying out independant store's leases etc) *are* still going on, and I like to write about the things that get me worked up even when I'm taking the piss.

The bad guys in the next story are the cops and the Home Office. That'll probably piss some people off even more...

But I don't mind the criticism. I like it. Except that you are now BANNED.

*Me.
 
 
_pin
20:19 / 17.04.03
a lot of the dialogue is just an exaggerated version of the way people I know *actually talk*.

See Fly? There's yr problem- yr friends are too derivative. Eat mroe lentils.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
21:24 / 17.04.03
....the sub-tank girl "aren't we all a bit smirking, cool and rrrriot?" really doesn't do anything for me.

Erm... let's consider the description of Jenny Everywhere. She shifts between worlds, wears goggles and a flying scarf. You were expecting something other than a smirking, cool, back of the grunge figure?

(I just posted in comics for the first time. I surely deserve a medal!)
 
 
Jack Fear
21:58 / 17.04.03
 
 
000
07:24 / 18.04.03
Evergreen is the future of comics! Flyboy is the next media whore of comics!

More Shameless Praise you ways, gentle men.
 
 
The Natural Way
09:15 / 18.04.03
I really should attempt to explain myself a little better, because I DON'T want to come across as rude and unpleasant.

Was I expecting something other than Tank Girlyness? Well, Anna, no I wasn't - not really. But I was hoping for something else, or at least for the archetype to be taken off in a new direction (hence my 'let's see where she goes in the future' get-out-of-jail-free card). But this is kinda why, in this context, I don't buy the 'too many men in pants' argument. I'm a big believer in the comic writer's ability to reimagine/reappropriate old forms - to make them shiny and new and more interesting than just big blokes chucking each other around. Aren't you? Most of us read NXM, afterall. In the end, what I didn't get from the Everywhere strip was a sense of something exciting and different. The thing feels like an amalgamation of a bunch of brit comics Fly and I read in our teens (nothing specific just a general vibe) combined with the sort of stuff Fraely was knocking up about living in Hastings when he was eighteen. And that sort of stuff is as common in tiny press/amateur circles as superheroes are in the mainstream.

So, I know it's just me, but I feel a little too...familiar with the Jennyverse to be really blown away by it yet.

Fly, I'm sorry, I know it's a different strokes thing. As I say, there's nothing technically wrong with it at all - in fact it's overflowing with comic-y goodness. It reads perfectly and the transitions are great. Dialogue's fine and dandy too. The thing is, there's so much good stuff there that I'm positive it's all going to come together for me in the end. I didn't dislike 'Hostile Takeover', I'm just not wringing my hands with glee (again with the) yet.

I don't know where you get that 'if you like this...blah' business from, though. I like loads of the same things that you like (and I loved the bad-grrl-and-her-gang thing when Hewligan was churning it!). There's this weird misconception that's followed me around since my runtwaddam! days that I only dig big, weird, mystic superpants.... It's just NOT true! I read the Ultimates, but, Christ, my tastes stretch much further than that. I thought you knew that!

Oh, and you can call me "runce". I'll only go changing my name again in another couple of days.
 
 
The Natural Way
09:22 / 18.04.03
I've just realised that I've attempted to explain taste and interpretation and I feel like a dick.

But, anyway, writing comics is brilliant isn't it? Don't you just love it?!?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
09:39 / 18.04.03
Yes! It's great! You're not a dick!
 
 
Sax
10:56 / 18.04.03
Runce, you're a comics fan. You're a writer. Why not write a Jenny strip?

Just a thought...
 
 
The Natural Way
12:38 / 18.04.03
Oh, I think I shall! But I want to get three Epic scripts in the bag first. Just one more to go.

You only want me to do a script so you can be nasty about it....
 
  

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