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Argh. Fuck. I'm a Bad Boyfriend!!! Help me?

SecretlyClarkKent

03:08 / 25.03.03

So my boyfriend, in an attempt to turn me on to some of his favorite artists, has been lending me CDs. Among them were all three volumes of The Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs set. He bought them all seperately, as opposed to in the boxed set, and at least one of them was purchased used. He gave me implicit instructions [as these are the babies of his collection] to not break the cases for volumes 2 or 3 [apparently this is a logical worry on his part] because they still have the original cases and they can't be replaced by simply switching cases, as the cases have a sticker that covers the entire front. The sticker is a giant, silver 69, and you can see the cover photo of the CD booklet behind it.

Somehow, I broke Vol. 3's case. Dunno how it happened, it's been in my shoulder bag with dozens of other CDs and I don't exactly toss it around, drop it, shove it in small holes, or slam car doors on it. But, sure as shit, the case is broken.

So now I'm at a decision-making point. I can A) hand back the CD, pout and say I really, honestly didn't mean it, while disappointing my boyfriend and handing back what was one of his favorite CDs, in exactly the condition he asked me not to; B) Buy it again, used, with the original cover and hope he never notices, or tell him but show him how eagerly I replaced it; C) Buy him the actual boxed set, complete with a 78 page booklet he doesn't own, as well as the nifty cardboard box that so many boxed sets come in. To make it better, I could buy the European release, with different packaging.

Obviously, "B" is the most economically sound choice, as I'm broke as fuck. And, it's kind of no-harm no-foul with the boyfriend. However, it means spending ten bucks to replace something that's not completely lost.

"C" will run me nearly 35 bucks, but it has the added bonus of giving him something he does not have. Plus, I could sell the old 3 CDs at a store, or on-line, or something, and maybe recover some of my losses.

For those of you who've actually read this far, what do you guys think?

-Jared

03:14 / 25.03.03

Why don't you tell him, offer to buy a replacement or whatever he'd rather you do, and say you're sorry?

Our Lady of The Two Towers

09:15 / 25.03.03

Yeah, big meal, candlelight, bottle of wine, good food, then admit the truth. But seriously, listen to Duncan, admit that you made a mistake and see where he wants to go from there.

11:35 / 25.03.03

Just explain what happened, and that you are sorry, and mean it. Say you didn't try to do it, and will try harder (but can't promise it wouldn't happen again) in the future.

If he takes it badly and flips out then maybe you need to ask if you want to be together.

At the end of the day, it is just stuff - it's not like you've slept with someone else or something. When you let people borrow things you have to expect it to get damaged occasionally - no-one is going to look after your gear as well as you do. People get waaay to hung up on trying to preserve things in mint condition, when by the very act of enjoying it (or letting others enjoy it, which can be just as rewarding) it will get worn out (albeit extremely slowy in the case of a CD).

And it is only the case - the CD still play OK I take it?

Save the meal/bottle of wine/candlelight for when you REALLY fuck up. :-)

Matthew Fluxington

12:26 / 25.03.03

Originally posted last night:

"The best thing to do is quite simple: You should take responsibility for what happened, gracefully apologize and offer to replace the item. There is no good reason to attempt to pull off sitcom-esque duplicity. If he's reasonable, that will go over very well, and he might not even accept your offer to replace the cd jewelbox. However, if he's going to be harsh and unforgiving about so small an infraction, I wouldn't recommend sticking around this guy for long.

Whatever you do, do not lie or hide the truth from him.

(That cd is pretty easy to replace, by the way. You can find it used fairly easily, and the original pressing is still fairly common. If he insists on having a replacement, it need not be expensive or difficult to locate.)"

SecretlyClarkKent

19:42 / 25.03.03

Thanks, Flux. I did know that I could find it easily [he and I come across it regularly when we look for other Magnetic Fields stuff].

I'm not worried about him flipping out, or taking it way too seriously. He wouldn't be pissed at me, he wouldn't scream, yell, or carry on in any such way. And he wouldn't hold it against me.

I just know that it would suck, getting it back damaged. It's like, I handed off my entire collection of New X-Men comics [or any of the other numerous titles I make him read], and I know how I'd feel if he handed back one with a giant tear down the cover. I wouldn't be pissed at him, I wouldn't withhold sex, or not talk to him, or anything ignorant like that. It would just kind of suck. But I also know that he would probably have already bought me another one to replace it.

And since I love him, it was more a matter of "do I replace it" or "do I go the extra mile"?

-Jared

20:30 / 25.03.03

Go the extra mile!