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I've been around for a while now — quite a while if you include lurking — and I still consider myself a newbie, mostly because I have never been all that active here (three new topics and fiftysomething posts, I think, none of which exactly rocked this place).
I found Barbelith quite refreshing and welcoming, and by the time I started posting I knew pretty much what to expect. I've been treated well here. You people are nicer than you think, trust me 
If I don't post often, that's mostly for more personal reasons that are not very relevant to Barbelith as a whole — including, but not limited to, limited time and energy I'm prepared to spend online, not being a native English speaker and thus wary of fast-paced, high-intensity debates, and perhaps most important of all: being somewhat jaded from earlier stints on other messageboards(*). In fact, I've largely stopped posting on any of the boards I still frequent, except for Barbelith. So there.
If I still feel a bit like an outsider, then I have only myself to blame for that, and not some elitist Inner Circle (which is a quite common phenomenon on the Internet, but certainly no more so than IRL in my experience).
Besides, I do think it's up to the newcomer to prove hirself first. I see the same thing in the dojo I'm currently an assistant in: all new people are made welcome, but after a few months there is a clear distinction between the people who are motivated and really go for it, and the tourists who just see it as a hobby and only come to practice when they really have nothing better to do. Usually, it's the latter group who complain the most about anything and everything (including how they're not advancing fast enough - after all, they pay just as much as that other guy and he's climbing in the ranks a lot faster than they are, it's not fair... you know what I mean).
Why put time and effort into someone who may up and leave again next week, in search of pastures greener? The door is always open, as it should be, but we're not going to pull you in. We're there to help, but ultimately your training is your own responsability.
I see the same principles at work on messageboards, except of course in a far more abstract way, and with people getting away with a lot more because of the anonimity inherent to this medium.
Ideally, it's a pure meritocracy, as toksik mentioned earlier. It has its drawbacks, but as long as people keep it civil, I can't immediately think of a better way.
*) Oh, and I have a tendency to write overly long rants once I get going. Q.E.D.
I'm working on it, honestly. |
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