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Talking fish

 
 
Icicle
12:05 / 17.03.03
Did anyone hear about the talking fish that says the world is going to end? I can't help believing things like this and am getting this grave sense of foreboding what with the war approaching, funny how I objected to the war the primary reason being the killing of Iraqi civilians but this talking fish..whether it did talk or not, maybe this is not really the point but it really alerted me to what this war is actually going to do, not just kill Iraqis, but maybe change the world forever. I have this terrible feeling that things are never going to be the same again.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
12:11 / 17.03.03
Maybe it was lying. Just for the halibut.
 
 
Icicle
12:12 / 17.03.03
http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/nation/1820583

The story's on this website. I would do a link but can't seem to remember how! sorry.
 
 
Icicle
12:13 / 17.03.03
nah, I don't think he was lying, apparently fish only speak when they've got something really important to convey!
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
12:17 / 17.03.03
Ann, Ann!
Come! quick as you can!
There's a fish that talks
In the frying-pan.
Out of the fat,
As clear as glass,
He put up his mouth
And moaned 'Alas!'
Oh, most mournful,
'Alas, alack!'
The turned to his sizzling,
And sank him back.


Walter de la Mare
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
12:21 / 17.03.03
The Silver Fish
by Shel Silverstein

While fishing in the blue lagoon,
I caught a lovely silver fish,
And he spoke to me, "My boy," quoth he,
"Please set me free and I'll grant your wish;
A kingdom of wisdom? A palace of gold?
Or all the fancies your mind can hold?"
And I said, "O.K." and I set him free,
But he laughed at me as he swam away,
And left me whispering my wish
Into a silent sea.

Today I caught that fish again
(That lovely silver prince of fishes),
And once again he offered me,
If I would only set him free,
Any one of a number of wishes,
If I would throw him back to the fishes.

He was delicious!!
 
 
Quantum
12:40 / 17.03.03
Interesting that the fish spoke Hebrew too- qabbalist fish?
 
 
Baz Auckland
14:33 / 17.03.03
I couldn't figure out whether to be freaked out or amused... I find it odd nonetheless that the killed the thing. You think they would have kept a prophetic fish around, no? At least for business?
 
 
Icicle
14:45 / 17.03.03
I think it was just an instant reaction, there was a talking fish, they were very scared and they were fishmongers, it was their instinct just to kill it.
 
 
rizla mission
15:03 / 17.03.03
This reminds me of a fantastic story I read in the Fortean Times a little while ago.. it concerned some kind of legendary talking animal - I think it was a ferret or a stoat of something of that nature - that loitered around the grounds of an English country estate. Apparently it predicted the outbreak of the Second World War, sang songs and spoke of it's fervent nationalist views..

God bless who ever finds a link to confirm this wonderful craziness..
 
 
Cosmicjamas
20:07 / 17.03.03
Well I scoured the Fortean Times website with no joy. And a Google search for "Talking Ferret" revealed a pantechnicon of ferrety trivia, likewise "Talking Stoat" - sorry Chairman!!

So, I bring you this link of ferrets speaking In Their Own Tongue:

http://chrisblue_2000.tripod.com/ferrettoy.wav

Thank you.
 
 
that
07:13 / 18.03.03
Cod bless, surely?
 
 
Sax
07:38 / 18.03.03
Stop carping and just accept that sometimes things like this happen on a global scale. Reminds me of the time I saw two parrots sitting on a perch, and one said to the other: "This is starting to smell a bit."
 
 
A
08:22 / 18.03.03
I believe the fish saw itself in the mirror and said "Fuck me, a talking fish, that's got to be a sign of the End Times!"
 
 
William Sack
08:42 / 18.03.03
There's a web page somewhere which tells you how to hack your Billy the Big-mouthed Bass so that you can record something other than Don't Worry Be Happy or whatever. There's no reason why you can't record yourself shouting apocalyptic warnings in Hebrew.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
08:42 / 18.03.03
"Yep, it was talkin', we both heard it, so we decided to chop it's head off and sell it. As you do."
 
 
Quantum
13:28 / 18.03.03
It was on the front page of the Observer here in the UK on Sunday 16th March 2003, just under the War.

An obscure Jewish sect in New York has been gripped in awe by what it believes to be a mystical visitation by a 20lb carp that was heard shouting in Hebrew, in what many Jews worldwide are hailing as a modern miracle.
Many of the 7,000-member Skver sect of Hasidim in New Square, 30 miles north of Manhattan, believe God has revealed himself in fish form.

According to two fish-cutters at the New Square Fish Market, the carp was about to be slaughtered and made into gefilte fish for Sabbath dinner when it suddenly began shouting apocalyptic warnings in Hebrew.

Many believe the carp was channelling the troubled soul of a revered community elder who recently died; others say it was God. The only witnesses to the mystical show were Zalmen Rosen, a 57-year-old Hasid with 11 children, and his co-worker, Luis Nivelo. They say that on 28 January at 4pm they were about to club the carp on the head when it began yelling.

Nivelo, a Gentile who does not understand Hebrew, was so shocked at the sight of a fish talking in any language that he fell over. He ran into the front of the store screaming: 'It's the Devil! The Devil is here!' Then the shop owner heard it shouting warnings and commands too.

'It said "Tzaruch shemirah" and "Hasof bah",' he told the New York Times, 'which essentially means that everyone needs to account for themselves because the end is near.'

The animated carp commanded Rosen to pray and study the Torah. Rosen tried to kill the fish but injured himself. It was finally butchered by Nivelo and sold.

However, word spread far and wide and Nivelo complains he has been plagued by phone calls from as far away as London and Israel. The story has since been amplified by repetition and some now believe the fish's outburst was a warning about the dangers of the impending war in Iraq.

Some say they fear the born-again President Bush believes he is preparing the world for the Second Coming of Christ, and war in Iraq is just the opening salvo in the battle of Armageddon.

Local resident Abraham Spitz said: 'Two men do not dream the same dream. It is very rare that God reminds people he exists in this modern world. But when he does, you cannot ignore it.'

Others in New Square discount the apocalyptic reading altogether and suggest the notion of a talking fish is as fictional as Tony Soprano's talking-fish dream in an episode of The Sopranos .

Stand-up comedians have already incorporated the carp into their comedy routines at weddings. One gefilte company has considered changing it's slogan to: 'Our fish speaks for itself.'

Still, the shouting carp corresponds with the belief of some Hasidic sects that righteous people can be reincarnated as fish. They say that Nivelo may have been selected because he is not Jewish, but a weary Nivelo told the New York Times : 'I wish I never said anything about it. I'm getting so many calls every day, I've stopped answering. Israel, London, Miami, Brooklyn. They all want to hear about the talking fish.'

A devout Christian, he still thinks the carp was the Devil. 'I don't believe any of this Jewish stuff. But I heard that fish talk.'

He's grown tired of the whole thing. 'It's just a big headache for me,' he added. 'I pull my phone out of the wall at night. I don't sleep and I've lost weight.'


http://www.observer.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,915125,00.html

That's all they reported, but I'm fascinated by 'Some say they fear the born-again President Bush believes he is preparing the world for the Second Coming of Christ, and war in Iraq is just the opening salvo in the battle of Armageddon.'
Sounds about right to me...
 
 
Sibelian 2.0
09:11 / 27.03.07
I'm so glad I found this thread to resurrect because it enables me to discuss an observation of mine.

My question was:

How come God's holy messages always turn up in these stupid places when the Devil (if we are to believe the fundamentalist Christians) is allowed to blare his hideous blasphemy openly through every television screen in the land? Why is God always communicating his messages through fish or patterns seen on a slice of toast or the particular set of wrinkles on a dried prune or a haphazard arrangement of socks on the floor after being released from the tumble-drier? How can he expect us to take him seriously when he's expending all this anti-entropic divinity on animating a FISH?

And I have decided that the answer is that it's to *subtract credibility* from his message, much as certain IRA members on "The Day Today" had to inhale helium for the same reason. Humanity must have faith, one must believe in God despite the fact that doing so makes you look ridiculous so that you have chosen him of your own free will and are therefore *properly* pious. Cos otherwise God would be cheating.

So, somewhere in Heaven there must be an extremely frustrated Marketing Department full of brain-storming gung-ho executive advertising angels, desperately trying to keep up with their satanic competitors' cutting edge techniques, except they're only allowed to go for the Tango ad angle.

"No, we've DONE fish. We need to think outside the box."
"TV static?"
"Entropically expensive. Cut-backs."
"Blood stains on the pavement after a car accident?"
"... it's a bit scary. More THEIR style than ours, if you ask me. I don't think He would approve."
"How about pi? Would could stick something in pi, couldn't we? They aren't allowed to touch that! Circles, you know, alpha, omega, full circle sort of thing, nice and round, no sharp edges..."
"Read the training manual. That's the first place they'd look."

...etc.

I think I'd quite like that job.
 
 
Tsuga
09:42 / 27.03.07
*deeply inhales helium*

I am the LORD your GOD. I speak in mysterious ways.
 
 
Sibelian 2.0
10:26 / 27.03.07

So how come you sound like a Teletubby with delusions of grandeur?
 
 
Quantum
12:59 / 27.03.07
Spot the Jesus...

 
 
Olulabelle
14:37 / 27.03.07
I think Dylan Moran or someone does a whole skit about Jesus appearing on baked goods and not for example in the side of mountains.
 
 
electric monk
03:43 / 28.03.07
No one in my office thought Dog Butt Jesus was funny.
 
 
Sole Eater
04:22 / 28.03.07
Piers Anthony does a whole series (Incantations of Immortality), set in a future where both God and the Devil advertise openly on animated billboards, TV etc. Pretty funny. It turns out that science has discovered that magic is a tangible, measurable and harnessable form of energy.

I especially enjoyed the part where a suicide, about to blow his brains out, hears the door open and is confronted by Thanatos (Death). Shooting Death in the head, he soon learns that he has to replace Thanatos until someone kills him in return.

I once saw an young, upwardly mobile Advertising guru interviewed on TV who was given ten seconds to come up with a slogan for the Second Coming of The Christ. He blew out his cheeks, thought for as moment and said: "Jesus! Thank God He's back!"

Brilliant!
 
  
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