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I Wish I Were More Like My Online Persona

Matthew Fluxington

19:44 / 04.02.03

When Hankscorpio74 suavely struts into a chat room, all the ladies are on him like Mynocks on the Millennium Falcon. Yet I have a hard time imagining the real-life Douglas Peltz being able to woo Hottie69 and LittlepartyChick into a private room for a "more intimate gathering" like Hank did a few weeks back in that chat room.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

09:50 / 05.02.03

It's sad because it's true.

pointless and uncalled for

14:41 / 07.02.03

I'm thankful that I'm not like my online persona, that potus is a fucking idiot and should be taken round the back and shot.

Somebody pass me my gun.

Smoothly

15:55 / 07.02.03

That's funny because for me it's exactly the other way around.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

16:38 / 07.02.03

I'm slowly trying to become my online persona, I've just given up on the whole hormones idea for now and just hoping it'll all sort it out in a 'one day I'll just wake up as someone else kind of thing'. But no drugs, and God isn't answering my calls... I'm running out of options.

that

16:48 / 07.02.03

I'm pretty much the same person on and offline. There's no fucking escape. Oh no.

Murray Hamhandler

23:30 / 07.02.03

I've been looking into ways of shedding this bag of meat and turning myself into a series of words on a grey background for years.

Rage

05:38 / 08.02.03

Hahahahaha. Gotta love The Onion. I know some people who actually became their RPG characters. I used to have a scary ex-boyfriend who decided he was going to create an alternate personality by the name of "Enmity" which was originally one of his Ultima Online avatars. When someone pissed him off he would literally turn into Enmity. I think this is why I stayed with him for as long as I did: because he was utterly and completely fucked up.

Rage

05:41 / 08.02.03

"And then there was the guy who killed himself when his Everquest character died."

Did Something Awful turn this into a bumper sticker yet?

Eloi Tsabaoth

09:38 / 08.02.03

When someone pissed him off he would literally turn into Enmity.

Was this done in the time-honoured Shatner-style 'talking to yourself through gritted teeth' method?

"Oh god... body... transforming... mind... evolving... becoming...Enmity..."

One of my online personas got away from me and now lives as the arch enemy of a gang of online wannabe superheroes. I'm so proud.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

10:09 / 08.02.03

Rage- Did you tell him he got the 'n' and the 'm' round the wrong way?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

21:54 / 08.02.03

My online persona thinks my meatspace self is a complete wuss. Sometimes I can feel MC looking over CM's shoulder, shaking her (perfectly shaven and polished) head and scowling as I take crap from some wanker in the shop or bite back a snide but richly-desrved put-down. CM looks over MC's online shoulder and bites her knuckles as MC's self-control fails and she gives it to some fevered ego with both barrels.

One of them's gotta go.

aus

05:28 / 09.02.03

My sense of humor is far weirder IRL. Most of you would probably find me even more annoying.

pointless and uncalled for

10:20 / 09.02.03

I'm thin king that instead of summary execution I should enroll my suit in a degree course in sociopathy.

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