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FROM:Suli
TO: Calo
SUBJECT: Are you still alive!!?
You haven't posted since last sunday, according to upasaid, so i was
wondering if you're still with us and add to that the plane crash in Sydney.
I'd give you some news from home, except i don't have any. Barney has been
living in the flat above us for a month now and its been a cracing laugh,
almost friendsesque!
My birds dog got put down after it bit me on christmas eve.
My penis started to grow again but then unfortunately it shrunk shorlty
afterwards. It keeps doing that to me, getting my hopes up and then flopping
soon after.
Its half price to get into the vetch to see the swans, so if you've got
time, you should call in, they need all the support they can get.
Right i'm going i've mumbled bullshit for long enough (i've probably
forgotten some notworthy news....fuck it!)
Adieu mon ami
Sully
p.s. I'm reading Mr nice at the moment and everytime i read it before bed, i
keep dreaming about sorting out hash deals in my head, its well fucking
wierd. I think you'd like Howard.
FROM: Calo
TO: Suli
SUBJECT: How you doing? (Said in a Joey accent)
Hello Skullivan!!!
I haven't posted an entry for a week because I haven't had access to a computer that has a floppy disc drive, and I'm doing all my journal stuff on my laptop at the moment, so expect about a weeks worth of entries in a few days...
I acted the complete knob the other night, and I was thoroughly miserable the day after (yesterday) and then I went out last night and got a shagg! Nice! She was 18 from here (surfers paradise, about ten hours drive away from Sydney, on the East coast of Australia.) She had a lovely minge.
Let me know how all my friends are doing these days - Pompa, Parvin and father, Pritchard, Nellie, Suli, etc. Is Barr still with whatshername?
I've got a lovely tan at the moment. I'm doing really good. Is there anything I can fetch you whilst on my travels? I almost bought you these eggs the other day that make maracca sounds when you shake them, but I didn't in the end because you're so fat you might confuse them for real eggs and cook them and eat them and die and I'd go to jail and that'd suck.
How is your old boy? How big is your penis? Mine is 5 inches at a push, but quite fat. Suli - I need some sex advice. I've now shagged four birds and I still have an arkward time shagging them - It keeps slipping out, or I have to guide it in with my hand, and I still have yet to come inside a womans fanny - Although I've come over a girls tits and another girls face and in her mouth a few times. What do you think?
Got to go. Keep it real. Seaside motherfucker!
Your fairy Godmother,
Ciao for now!
Andy C.
FROM:Suli
TO: Calo
SUBJECT: RE: How you doing? (Said in a Joey accent)
Pompa-I haven't seen for 2 or 3 weeks but he's ok, he'll be down for a cards
night soon no doubt! he's still with Louise (take that how you want)
Parvin-Arranged for everyone to go and see the counting crows in Cardiff,
like Diz,Dai pritch, uni friends and other people, the week before the
concert he came down with a virus and was laid up in bed for the whole week
and missed the concert,he's back with Becky but not full-on proper BF and GF
yet, so as you might expect i ain't seen him for 2/3 weeks either,
subsequently i haven't heard much about his dad either. No bad news though.
Parvin's always moaning because ocassionally he has to teach 5 days a week,
the poor boy. He only earns ?50 a week for that, poor stanley!
Mr. Pritchard is getting itchy feet in Cardiff and he's making moves to go
to London in the immediate future, every city he visits always gets too
small and not cosmopolitan enough for that boy!
Nelly- still got a kid and a fiancee, thats about it! wnet out with them
both a couple of weeks ago, it was a good laugh.
Sully-I'm alright, always have been really, lot of fucking work at the
moment tho and it'l continue til June. Need to shag my bird soon tho!
Barney is always on the squanda! he's still with the nickster, thats a funny
situation, its gonna end eventually, they dont want it to but they know it
wont last if she goes away to uni. He's my temptor this year, always a
pre-rolled one available upstairs, i've struggled to get work done and stay
away from barneys den of inequity!!!
Fozzy's still a copper and a moaning cunt, what am i gonna do, he's my
friend, his racism and general predjudices are thriving in the police. He's
seeing a bird at the moment, who'd have thought it hey?
Peter-haven't seen for 2/3 months, dont know whats he's up to, don't really
have that much in common with the boy anymore, but again he's still my
friend. He is remaining monogomous while going out with the stripper/escort
he met in Ibiza, who'd have thought that!!? she's from liverpool, i dont
know while i told you that though, there seems no logical reason for it!
Dai kelly- cool as ever, still workin down the oxwich bay hotel, saving
funds for his future empire.him and charlie had split up last i'd heard, but
i doubt its lasted.
You wouldn't beleieve it, so i dont expect you too until you see but people
are actually calling me skinny from time to time and at the moment my hair
is really short and i have a black/purple eye from rugby, so if i add a
couple of fake scabs i could take a role in philadelphia with tom hanks!!
If i think of something you could get me in Oz, i'l let you know but as yet
i don't so i won't.
Regarding your knob,wimen require a reasonable length (5" will cut the
mustard) but the majority like girth, if you got girth you're sorted.
(foreplay is considered very highly by wimen but sometimes they just want a
good fucking,its part of our impossible job to tell when they want which
type of loving!)
If you are serious about the slipping out problem, make sure you're in as
realistic comfortable position and don't worry about squashing her (get in
there calo, literally!). Personally, i don't think coming everywhere else is
such a bad thing, especially if the bird you're shagging has seen the world
(follow my drift?).
reading from your journal and you've said it yourself, sometimes you try to
hard to pull birds. Theres a fine line between being nice and curtious but
don't get over friendly becasue you'll become a birds safety net if you do.
A note for you on spelling:
Nelly not Nelli/Neli
Sully not Sulli/Suli
ok, lesson over
Adios amigos
Sully...ooh! |
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