I need a beer and someone to drink it for me, because I don't like beer. Actually, I don't need a beer.

Sorry, I thought the topic was "I need a bear and..." until I actually got to the reply screen and then I decided to think of something anyway, but this was all I could come up with. Silly, really. Sorry. Carry on.

aus

03:11 / 13.01.03

I do need a bear though, if anyone has a spare.

The Monkey

08:15 / 13.01.03

A bear to spare?

This is *so* a undiscovered Dr. Seuss picture-book.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:34 / 13.01.03

I need a beer. And a bear, as well, while you're getting one for auszilla.

Yup. A beer, a bear, and a bloody good swear. That'll do me.

rizla mission

10:41 / 13.01.03

huh huh. A bear. That would be cool.

Preferably one of those renegade bears from Alaska that wonder into towns and cause trouble.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:41 / 13.01.03

Or a drunk Philip Pullman bear with armour! Thus including beer as well!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:43 / 13.01.03

All of which reminds me... anyone up for helping me out with my planned TV series "Mental Ben"? Every week a cute smug little kid gets his face ripped off by a bear. With hilarious consequences.

aus

13:33 / 13.01.03

I hope this idea is signed by one of the TV networks because I'm already laughing! Haha! Face ripped off! That would be so funny!

Only because it didn't happen to me, though.

Eloi Tsabaoth

15:52 / 13.01.03

What about Gentile Ben, the adventures of a Jewish boy and his non-jewish Bear? Controversial.
Or Rental Ben, an expose of the company that rents Bears to small boys for their own personal use. Hard hitting.

Best of both to guzzle with your muzzle:

genital ben?

i need a beer with a mind like a diamond
i need a beer that knows what's best
i need a beer with shoes that cut
and eyes that burn like cigarettes

Bill Posters

19:21 / 13.01.03

You had to start this thread when I'm doing a detox didn't you? You're all, offically, bastards.

Rev. Jesse

14:45 / 14.01.03

That may be, but we're bastards WITH BEER!

What do you do with a drunken sailor,
e'rly in the morning?

Goodness Gracious Meme

15:16 / 14.01.03

I don't need a beer. Bored of drinking. I do need a fag. And i'm going to have one, NOW. And then I need to get off my arse and go see my dealer. for then I will have a spliff, too.

bwahahahahahahahaha

(how's the detox going, btw? are you a little ray of sunshine? )

w1rebaby

18:10 / 14.01.03

You know, I'd like to detox. But I'd also like a beer.

What I need is beer that detoxes you.

Bill Posters

16:57 / 15.01.03

how's the detox going, btw? are you a little ray of sunshine? )

Not sooooo bad thanks, just nicotine left to cut down on. But no, I am bloody not a little ray of sunshine! ;-)

William Sack

17:20 / 15.01.03

Don't bother even thinking about the nicotine - smoke like a bastard for God's sake. Six and a half years post-detox and kicking the fags is still on the to-do list. Come to think of it, so is being-a-ray-of-sunshine. Good luck.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

17:27 / 15.01.03

So Jesus Definitely Does not Want You for a Sunbeam then Bill?

00:58 / 16.01.03

That may be, but we're bastards WITH BEER!

A bastard with beer is a friend indeed!

Charles Darwin

01:00 / 16.01.03

Yeah, drinking in a pub with beer would be nice.......

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

01:14 / 16.01.03

I've been trying to cut down on bears recently, but it's not working.

telyn

01:21 / 16.01.03

I don't want beer. I've had enough beer today. I want tea and a perfect cake from a patiserie in central London that gives you your bill in sandpaper envelopes. A bear could come and take tea with me too if it so desired.

Bill Posters

07:18 / 16.01.03

So Jesus Definitely Does not Want You for a Sunbeam then Bill?

"Jesus doesn't love me, he just uses me for sex."

Bear

07:52 / 16.01.03

Mental Ben, I like that - all this talk about bears is great it's just like being back home *sniff*

I've been using NLP colour methods to stop me wanting bear and it seems to be working, now I just want Vodka!

Bill Posters

08:08 / 16.01.03

Gentle Bin, a heartrending treatment of a kind child turned terrorist by the sadistic murder of his pet bear by bandits when he was seven?

Loomis

08:29 / 16.01.03

Elemental Bear, who fights crime by turning into air, fire, earth and water.

Regimental Bear, a hilarious sitcom about a bear who is accidentally drafted into the army through a paperwork error. Spinoff series about his canine chum going beserk with a credit card.

Most-definitely-not-mental Bear, the teaching aid who goes around to kindergartens to teach kids about understanding and living with mental illness.

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