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Call My Barbelith Music Bluff

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Regrettable Juvenilia

10:49 / 02.01.03

This is completely ripped from this I Love Music thread, but it's such a good idea I had to share it. Simply put, each person lists three things they like, with reasons (they can be artists, songs or even albums), but one of them is a *filthy lie*. Everybody else then has to guess which one is the fake.

Now, this obviously relies on a certain degree of honesty, and also on people being able to think of artists they haven't recently praised or slagged off prominently on the board (to make things easier, let's see if you think you know from contact with a poster off the board then you can't guess that one). But I still think it could be very entertaining. Here's my starter for ten:

Avril Lavigne, 'Complicated': smart, sassy singalong teenage angst-pop! Who cares if she's a bandwagon-jumping Alanis-wannabe who isn't as good as Pink?

The Jam, 'Going Underground': smart, pissed-off shoutalong punk-pop angst for nihilistic young men in good suits! Who cares if they were Tory voters and that Paul Weller later became god of boring rock?

Pearl Jam, 'Jeremy': epoch-defining groanalong anthemic angsty grunge rock for doomed youth! That's actuall really good! Who cares if they went on to make lots of unlistenable sludge?

12:01 / 02.01.03

Aqua - Cartoon Heroes. They're the ones who gonna last forever.

VengaBoys - Ibiza. Ooh-oh, they're going to Ibiza. Ooh-oh, back to the island.

Lou Bega - Mambo no. 5. A little bit of Rita is all he needs.

Matthew Fluxington

12:08 / 02.01.03

Clearly "Jeremy" is the lie, since Pearl Jam's music actually got better as they went along, and only some of their most recent album truly qualifies as "unlistenable sludge." Surely if Flyboy was going to be into a Pearl Jam song, it would probably be something from Vitalogy, No Code, or Yield.

12:12 / 02.01.03

The Vines - Get Free - I hated it when I first heard it, but even though there are parts that are direct Nirvana rip-offs, it still becomes catchier than hell after repeated exposure. Plus, lead singer is adorable and completely spaz-tastic.

Smashmouth - Allstar - Although not quite as good as their cover of "I'm a Believer," this song still gets the Gatorade pumping through your veins and inspires the whole car to sing along.

Jimmy Eat World - The Middle - Although this song sounds like it was written for a never-to-be-made John Hughes 90s angst opera, it also sounds like it was written for a never-to-be-made John Hughes 90s angst opera.

13:46 / 02.01.03

Fly - Knowing you slighty IRL, I go with Flux's suggestion. I can see you leaping around to Avril and The Jam but air guitaring to Pearl Jam never. (Can you even air guitar to Pearl Jam?)- don't know the song, but I can't imagine it.

Chrome: I'm guessing the Venga Boys - I don't know why really, just because they are the one out of the 3 that seems most hideously unamusing.

Todd: Can't guess 'cos I don't know the bands.

Me 3:

Bob Marley - you all know why he's so good, you don't need me to wax lyrical.
Anything by Take That: Classic singer-songwriting from Gary Barlow and a selection of pop muppets, where is he know?
"Miss Jackson" by Outkast - classic catchy pop-hop.

The Natural Way

14:21 / 02.01.03

No, I think Avril's the lie, Flux. Everyone expects Fly to fly in the face of the beard and opt for some shit teen-pop and, well, I reckon he used to really dig Pearl Jam.....

15:48 / 02.01.03

Yeah... I thought about it for more than a minute, and I agree - it's probably Pearl Jam for Flyboy.

Todd: Jimmy Eat World? 'Cause that song is very boring indeed. But I admit I have not heard the other two.

Mr Illmatic: Gotta be Take That? Dear God, please assure me it's Take That...

My three:

Jimmy Eat World: 'Bleed American' - It's angsty, but in a good way - sweaty angsty - heartfelt. Very catchy. And quite hard rockin', considering.

Sophie Ellis Bextor - 'Murder on the Dance Floor'. Fuck knows why I like this song. I hated it at first, but it got in my head and laid eggs and they hatched and dear god save me now...

Chad Kroger 'Hero'. It's just so pretty, innit. It's Bryan Adams' 'Everything I do' for the 00's.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

16:27 / 02.01.03

Chol- It's got to be the Chad Kroger one innit? I'd be surprised if you liked either that or Bryan Adams.

16:33 / 02.01.03

Mr Illmatic: Bob Marley's my guess.

Cholister: I'm praying it's the Chad Kroeger, but am afraid it mightn't be so obvious...

16:43 / 02.01.03

Paleface - you got it, baby. I fucking hate Bob Marley, or rather I hate a lot of his music through overfamilarity and the way everyone in the country only seems to have one reggae album, and it's always a copy of "Legend". It's my phobia record. Used to live above a Frenchmen who played it continually - everyday for 6 months. Oh, the horror. Despite the man's original intentions, it's now beecome the kind of reggae that Tony Blair would like.

Not adverse to a bit of Take That, though Chol, my flatmate at college used to play it all time. Suprisingly good songs, I thought.

16:43 / 02.01.03

Bendt Chrome:
Lou Vega. Must be. worst song ever.

17:38 / 02.01.03

Chol - I'm going for Chad Kroeger as well, but perhaps (given your previous assessment of them in this thread) it should be Jimmy Eat World...

Flyboy - I don't know. I really can't tell... I was going to go for The Jam (for no real reason other than that Paul Weller is too annoying to ignore for any song), so I suppose I'll stick with that.

And as for me...

Manic Street Preachers - Australia: emoto-power-rock with a stonking great tune.

Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River: ace R&B track with Michael Jacksonish vocals and a corking great tune.

Black Box Recorder - Kidnapping An Heiress: glacial indie effort with a really rather charming melody.

17:41 / 02.01.03

I call Todd on Smashmouth, Cholister on Kroger .. Flyboy's seems slightly trickier but I honestly can't imagine him ever tolerating Pearl Jam..

Now to watch as I'm proved thoroughly wrong..

18:04 / 02.01.03

Oh, and the Manics for KitKat's one I reckon.

Now my turn I suppose:

Antihero - Rolling Stones T-Shirt
Mouthy British punks with bracing two minute tirade against hipster conformity.

The Crimea - Lottery Winners on Acid
Gloriously emotive lo-fi ballad by some people who are clearly familiar with The Flaming Lips. Has what you might call "anthemic quality" without being remotely banal or annoying.

The Electric Six - High Voltage
Headexplodingly awesome disco/rock/funk concoction featuring Jack White on backing vocals.

18:17 / 02.01.03

Yeah - it was Chad Kroeger (sorry, spelled it wrong before, I believe). It was a bit obvious, but I couldn't think of anything else I truly loathed, at the time.

KCC's and Rizla's both go a bit over my head, so I won't even try...

Regrettable Juvenilia

18:45 / 02.01.03

I thought mine was too easy even as I was writing it, but Runce fell straight into my triple-bluff trap. "Life's like this, and..." M-m-m-m-mountface. But no, Jesus, never did I like Pearl Jam, even in my grunge phase. Smashing Pumpkings and Hole, yes. Pearl Jam and Mudhoney: no. I liked my grunge with a bit of glitter round the eyes. Still can't believe Eddie Vedder sings on the best song on the new Cat Power album...

Chrome: I go for Lou, because the others, whilst also pretty rubbish, seem to fit well together in a shiny campy summercamp hell kind of way. 'Mambo No 5' is for Peter Philes.

Todd: I suspect The Vines have the exact effect you describe, which is why I'm trying to avoid ever hearing them... Have to go with the Smashmouth, if only because that stuff about Gatorade can't be serious - can it, Toddster?

Ill - I would have said Bob too, honest, largely because I know you too must 'appreciate' that nasty racist "ban beards, they're worn by scary Arabs" advert with the annoying "if I had *my* way" girl, who wants Bob Marley to "still be with us". Yeah, with us, and making records with Dave Stewart.

Chol: tis indeed inevitably Chad.

KCC: you're just trying to upset me, all those tunes are great. However, I suspect you harbour a sneaky liking for even the most Match-of-the-Day-soundtrack tracks off Everything Must Go, and cannot picture you being impressed by Justin's ode to Britney-stalking, even if he samples monks...

Riz: one of the first two, because nobody could object to 'Danger! High Voltage!'... The second one? It sounds the shittest...

18:56 / 02.01.03

Oh yes, mine was Smashmouth - that was probably too easy.

I don't think anyone *wants* to like the Vines - but the single was inescapable. Haven't heard any of their other choons yet, thankfully. Jimmy Eat World's "The Middle" is last years "Don't You Forget About Me", just lacking the movie.

Haven't heard ANY of the songs KCC or Rizla mentioned.

Here's another bit - The Emperor's New Clothes Edition:

Justin Timberlakr- Like I love You - The most unintentionally funny spoken interlude since "This is a song about a girl named lucky" - I've been dreaming about this ever since I was a little boy - Turns out he was dreaming about being young, sexy black Michael Jackson, and shtupping Alyssa Milano and Janet Jackson.

Britney Spears - I'm a slave 4 U - Britney's all grows up. Just this side of making sex look very, very cheap and tawdry. And I mean that in a good way.

Nelly - Hot in Herre - Extra "Rs" are the new "4 U." Inescapable chorus, feel good hit of the summer.

19:06 / 02.01.03

I haven't hears the song yet but I'm gonna say Antihero - Rolling Stones T-Shirt is Rizlas bluff because tirades against hipster conformity are part of the (not so) new hipster conformity.

The Halo Benders - Virginia Reel Around The Fountain
Calvin uses his legendary Calvin Voice to songspeak nonsense verses as Dougs beautiful cracked vocals floats over a jingle jangle guitar drone. Quite possibly my favorite track on my favorite Halo Benders album.

Built to Spill - Virginia Reel Around The Fountain
A live cover of the Halo Benders song. Doug takes his half of the song and stretches it for seven minutes. So beautiful it makes Calvin weep in his monkey hips and rice "Doug, you're My guitar hero..."

Tim Buckley - Song To The Siren (live on The Monkeys TV Show)
A beautiful version of a beautiful song. Dead Can Dance can kiss his ass. And he had a better voice than his son (even if most of his studio albums were shit).

Regrettable Juvenilia

19:16 / 02.01.03

Todd - the fact that you don't really say anything positive about 'Like I Love You' is too obvious a bluff. So I deduce that it really *is* the one you don't like. Bad Todd.

I need another go! Bands this time:

The Eels - beautifully fragile, offbeat songs that show a Beatles influence doesn't have to be a bad thing. Bonus points for quirky gallows humour.

Sparklehorse - country music with weird knobs on, alternating between grim(m) darkness and sweet prettiness. Bonus points for singer Mark Linkous' fantastic cracked voice.

Beth Orton - some call her a coffee table Cat Power, the Everything But The Girl it's okay to like. These people get a slap - the first two albums, particularly Central Reservation, are full of heart-breaking moments.

Matthew Fluxington

19:25 / 02.01.03

My picks - Bio doesn't like Tim Buckley, Rizla doesn't like AntiHero, Todd doesn't like Nelly, Kit Kat doesn't like Timberlake, Flyboy doesn't really like Sparklehorse, and the new Vines single is way better than the one Todd mentions.

Let me give this a go:

Everclear "Elektra Made Me Blind" - irresistable corporate punk with glossy production which sounds kinda sorta like Bruuuuuuce mimicking Kurt.

Bush "Greedy Fly" - Steve Albini-produced single, with the really expensive video that looks like a bad action movie. "Do you hate the way you feel? / Do you feel the way you hate?" Who cares? This song rocks!

Silverchair "Tomorrow" - suprisingly well-written teeny-grunge from the mid-90s, at least if you pretend that the lyrics aren't there. It's still kinda amusing to hear the poor kid shout about how the water is "very hard to drink!"

19:41 / 02.01.03

Ok. Hey, are we supposed to tell people if they're right or wrong?

I'm gonna guess Elektra Made Me Blind is your bluff 'cause I think you like Everclears later stuff better. Which is a shame because the thought of someone choosing to listen to Bush or Silverchair makes my brain hurt.

This is fun! I wanna play again!

The Return Of Rothkoid

21:56 / 02.01.03

I'm going for bands first. Just to be antsy.

The Black Heart Procession - wire and string country gothic wailing with a feeling of imminent fallapart. Not to be played on the way to airports.

Xiu Xiu - Neo-Smith (Bob, not band) vocals couched in angular, Television-esque wirework with a feeling of incipient wristslashing. Perfect New Year's Eve music.

Spiritualized - Brokenhearted voices wrapped in the middle of a tripper's summery dream. Who cares about heartbreak when it's this cotton-wool medicated?

Flux: I call you on silverchair (nb: small S! Small S!) because - well, they're just shit, aren't they? That song in particular. And I think you'll find that the "water out of the tap is very [chunka] hard to [chunka] driiiink! VERY hard to drink!"

I curse Murmur, Sony, and all their fucking works.

Matthew Fluxington

22:30 / 02.01.03

Well, process of elimination rules that since Rothkoid just had a Spiritualized song in the Lyrics O Yr Life, Spiritualized is probably out. I'm guessing that he does not actually like Xui Xui, because I can't imagine him not liking the Black Heart Procession.

22:48 / 02.01.03

Jake Anders, Flyboy -- on the dot. Britney's all grows up. She's a lie! She's a bluff! (Okay, I just know you like Timberlake and Nelly).

22:50 / 02.01.03

My bad. Todd, not Flyboy.

23:04 / 02.01.03

And I do not know then, although I will maintain that my favourite slavebitch virgin is the lie.

07:18 / 03.01.03

Flyboy - you are so right about that advert.

09:16 / 03.01.03

Soundtracks:

Lost Highway - I know that Reznor might not be the in guy at the mo, but in my opinion, you still can't beat this. Manson, Adamson, Bowie, the Pumpkins - perfection, really. Same as the movie.

Wild At Heart - what more could you ask for? Badalamenti tracks, Chris Isaak and cool heavy metal by Powermad. One of my favourites. Neat movie, too.

L.A. Confidential - Jazz, for those nights. My fascination with old sound has momentarily peaked here with Lee Wiley's Looking At You. And the movie doesn't disappoint either.

No star here laces

09:17 / 03.01.03

My selection is drawn from recent Euro-dance hits that everyone will have heard on the radio (hopefully).

DJ Sammy - Boys of Summer - I really really wanted to hate this for being formulaic (as in, it's just the same idea as 'heaven' but with a different song), but it's just too straight-up weird not to be brilliant. There's something about Don Henley's ridiculously over-emoting lyrics being sung by this glacial, faceless euro-femme that makes me feel all Turing-test. Does she even know what the words mean? Does it matter?

Scooter - "The logical song" "When I was young, life was so wonderful, it was magical" - how can you not smile? It's just so sweet and happy and bizarrely german, especially when that bloke starts shouting rave cliches over the top. I'd never dance to it (makes you cringe to even think about it!), but it makes me smile when it's on the radio.

Dead or Alive - "You spin me round 2002" More teutonic silliness. At least I hope so. This version is so perfect that I can't even remember what the original sounds like. Clanky trance with that monotone, repetitive voice - it could almost be a satyrical comment on the state of the dance scene. I tell you - europop producers are very very smart people...

I can't comment on most of the above selections by other people, but Flyboy doesn't like Sparklehorse I reckon. I don't really know any of the three artists, but "cracked voice" and "prettiness" ring false for me...
DEAD OR ALIVE

You Spin Me Round 2002

10:11 / 03.01.03

Flux: I guess your bluff is Silverchair's "Tomorrow", because I really can't picture *anyone* liking that song.

Now let's see:

Belle And Sebastian - Seymour Stein: Anemic, yes, a little, and gentle, and halfway through the song Someone. Starts. Clapping, but this song's beauty is undeniable.

Ghost In The Shell Soundtrack - Ghost City: Who cares if this is from some geeky anime with a naked cyborg chick blowing up stuff? If you ignore the japanese drums and the pseudo-futuristic cheap synthetizers, that's a really impressive tune, with a gorgeous choir.

Pink Floyd - Money: Ah, a true classic! Funky as hell, with great lyrics and sarcasm to boot, this song proved that Pink Floyd could dance. With an inspired sax solo in the end, and powerful guitar licks (courtesy of Mr. Gilmour), this song is one of the best of all times.

Goodness Gracious Meme

13:54 / 03.01.03

Byron: spin me round?

I can't imagine you saying either ' a satirical comment on the state of the dance scene' OR 'europop producers are very smart people'... The lang. just don't ring right. whereas I can't actually stop hearing you say 'I really wanted to hate this song but...' and 'i'd never dance to it but...' now.

erm...

Elvis - Always on My Mind Just lovely. some of the most touching words ever. Makes me cry. And gave rise to the fabbo Pet Shot Boys version.

Aphex Twin - Drukqs - Hugely underrated album. ok, it's a little long, but still packed with good tracks, and still a decade ahead of most of the IDM crowd. The sound of RDJ telling his rivals to give up and go home.

Jazzanova feat. Viktor Duplaix - Last Night Gorgeous slab of soulful, beat driven yumminess with one of the best vocal hooks ever. (sampled from god knows where) Really slinky and with great early electro-ish beat.

14:06 / 03.01.03

No idea for some of the above so I'm guessing BiP's - Just say no to Druxqs kids 'cos it's a shit album, the sound of someone resting on his laurels (what the fuck are laurels anyway?)

Matthew Fluxington

14:25 / 03.01.03

My picks - Chrome doesn't like LA Confidential, Bryon doesn't like Scooter, Jade doesn't like Pink Floyd, and Bengali doesn't like Aphex Twin.

I'm not telling on mine til at least a couple more people guess...

14:42 / 03.01.03

Flux. 'Twas Lost Highway. I hate it without the movie to back the songs up. Manson's vocal mannerisms never fail to do my nut in, the most hideous being I Put A Spell On You. Smashing Pumpkins' track is shite, Adamson's passable, especially the last one on the soundtrack, and Badalamenti must have decided to make music that cannot stand outside the movie for once.

Reznor, ugh.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

17:43 / 03.01.03

I don't post here often (despite my love of music), so I don't imagine anyone will have any idea as to which of these three is fake, but give it a try anyway.

Bach's Toccotta and Fugue in D minor Complete madness! Mathmatical insanity! Followed up by a delightful fugue that's all flowers and children playing in a field, with the evil wizard's castle on the dark horizon. He's watching from the windows, kids...

Johnny Winter's "TV Mama" A cross-eyed 98-pound albino covered in tatoo's singing blues like a dirty old man? Count me in! Contains the memorable line "Call me over, and I'll show my tube to you a-heh heh hehh cough cough". Slide guitar that reminds me of spiders, but in a good way.

Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" Sure, every band in the world at one point played this song in a high school talent show, but it remains a classic. Who doesn't love this song?

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