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Tombstones

Brigade du jour

19:40 / 30.12.02

Don't want to depress anyone, but just been reading the Joe Strummer RIP thing, and watching TV shows about famous people who died this year (and some fantastic people sadly did).

But anyway, what would you have on your Tombstone? And if you like, please elaborate on why.

I can't think of one for myself. Maybe I'll steal somebody else's idea, but I'll make sure they die first so as to avoid legal complications.

Jack Fear

19:49 / 30.12.02

LOSE WEIGHT
ASK ME HOW

w1rebaby

19:51 / 30.12.02

I'm not really bothered about the tombstone, but I'd like to have a popup hand with a motion sensor, that bursts through the ground and claws the air whenever people walk by at night.

Brigade du jour

19:51 / 30.12.02

Or, in really tiny writing, right in the middle so you have to walk right up to the tombstone to read it - "you're standing on my balls".

It's not mine, it's Billy Connolly's. Credit where it's due.

Brigade du jour

19:53 / 30.12.02

You've been watching Carrie, haven't you fridgeMattel?

Alternatively, I could have some sort of reference to that Dutch movie "The Vanishing", where the guy gets buried alive.

w1rebaby

20:08 / 30.12.02

If I couldn't have the hand, I wouldn't mind a cuckoo clock hanging on the tombstone. Just because.

Brigade du jour

20:10 / 30.12.02

Nice touch.

I might be a proper wag and have a picture of Wyatt Earp (Henry Fonda in My Darling Clementine to be precise). Ho. Ho. Ho.

gravitybitch

01:50 / 31.12.02

I'm tempted to commision a box inscribed with Pandora's name on it for my ashes....

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:26 / 31.12.02

I'd want a message that would bring comfort and succour to grieving family, devastated loved ones and mournful passers by.

So:

Stop whining and adapt.

Hattie's Kitchen

12:19 / 31.12.02

"Into the mud, Scum Queen"

From "The Man With Two Brains".

I thank you.

mixmage

14:58 / 31.12.02

Beneath this sod lies another.

Brigade du jour

20:40 / 31.12.02

Hack off is definitely winning so far! Um, but it's not a competition or anything.

rizla mission

11:40 / 01.01.03

Currently I think it would be quite good to be marked by a random, mishapen lump of masonry with "fuck you all" written on it in permanent marker.

Well, either that or a collosal marble statue of Jerry Cornelius in full dandy regalia rocking out on a gignatic spaceage guitar.

Depends how my life turns out I suppose.

(In the case of the latter option, it would of course be an unmarked memorial, to that in centuries to come people would say "we actually have no idea who is buried under here, but I think we can safely assume it's somebody really cool!")

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I want a big flashing neon advertisement on my tombstone. I don't care what it is really. Coca-cola, condoms, sex toys, it really doesn't matter. It just has to be big, neon, and pretentious.

Kit-Cat Club

15:29 / 01.01.03

'Get orf moi laaand'

Or alternatively,

'All this buttoning and unbuttoning'

Or, to pilfer shamelessly from H G Wells,

'I told you so'

Actually I like Flyboy's the best so far, I think. One of my old tutors had written his epitaph at the age of about 50: 'I have delivered my last lecture on Walpole'.

The Return Of Rothkoid

21:21 / 01.01.03

Personally? I'm opting for I said I wanted to be cremated, you fucks.

That's it. No burial for me. Burn me up and throw me away; once I'm gone, I'm no use anyway. What good is a corpse when memory serves? And if your memory doesn't, then I probably wasn't worth being brought to mind anyway.

deja_vroom

09:53 / 02.01.03

"Living and learning..."

that

10:52 / 02.01.03

"More butch than you'll ever be"

that

10:54 / 02.01.03

But I'm not getting buried either. Cremation. Then little vials of ashes given to everyone I cared about, to dispose of in any way they saw fit - top of a mountain, down the loo, up their nose, whatever...

08:35 / 04.01.03

"Stop hanging around this fucking cemetary and go do something fun, you miserable goth wankers."

Mourne Kransky

09:51 / 04.01.03

I would quite like a big tree planted on top of me but that would mean I couldn't have a famadihana as they do in Madagascar. Dig me up, take me back to the house every few years for a big party, wrap me in a smart new shroud, take me down the pub...

rizla mission

12:16 / 05.01.03

"Stop hanging around this fucking cemetary and go do something fun, you miserable goth wankers."

In response to which I'll change mine to

"Don't listen to that grave over there! Hanging 'round in graveyards is loads of fun! And dead cool to boot. And it'll make people distrust you and think you're weird. Go on! Next time bring a picnic!"

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